May 31st, 2008.
That was the day that my wife Christine and I had been looking to - both with nervousness and excitement - since finding out in fall of 2007 that she was pregnant, again. Incidentally, while my wife’s first pregnancy ended with a miscarriage, the first one started off with the death of the my grandmother, the only grandparent I’d ever known.
The Pregnancy
Between October and May, Christine had a relatively healthy and uneventful pregnancy. We did have one scare early on - a bit of spotting - that turned out to be a false alarm; the Jelly Bean was fine. Her sonograms at 9 and 12 weeks showed a healthy little sprout. The amazing 4D images gave us a glimpse into our creation: my wife saw me, I saw my wife…
The Final Countdown
Before we knew it, Christine had grown from a petite gal into one big round women. I took pictures throughout the pregnancy and will add them in the days and weeks to come. By May, we knew that the little fat one could drop at any minute. By mid-May, the bags were packed… but for whatever reason, I figured May 31 would be the day.
False Alarm
Two weeks ago on May 22nd, Christine thought her water broke. Incidentally, she had a doctor’s appointment that same day, so upon further review, that too turned out to be a false alarm. While at the doctor, I noticed that another date had been jotted down on one of the papers, as well. This date said May 27th - the next Tuesday! Our good doctor told us: “oh, forget May 31, it could come on any day”.
Christine has worked with me at our company since March 2006. She’s been my partner in business and in life. I have been telling her to take it easy, but she pretty much worked until Friday May 25th.
Showtime
On Tuesday May 27th, Christine told me that she thought it was the day. I was still stuck on my May 31 target date… but I figured maybe she had a hunch… or more likely, I’d be hearing “today is the day” until it was in fact the day. Christine had asked her mom to meet her for lunch… we live near our office, so I asked her to meet her mom for lunch at our office just in case.
I had set up a lot of meetings Monday through Thursday, expecting her to go into labor on Friday for a Saturday delivery.
By 11am, I noticed Christine was lugging her big body around, going to the washroom frequently and by the time her and her mom went to lunch, I noticed she had been jotting down the time of her contractions; they were coming frequently but irregularly. We’re talking every 5-15 minutes… but it was certainly ongoing…
I had a couple of meetings in the afternoon, I left the office at 1pm for my 2pm meeting… but by now, it was clear that upon my return, we’d be heading to the hospital. Mind you, few things as are disappointing as getting to the hospital and being told to go back home… but the instant I left the office at 1pm I regretted leaving and wanted to go back. I spent all but 5 minutes at my 2pm meeting before excusing myself to return to Christine.
Once back at the office, I took her mom and her to the hospital. I began to call everyone: my parents, her father, my sister and brothers, etc.
We got there and by the looks of it: everyone was giving birth, and everyone was shooting out little girls. We got to the hospital at 3:26pm. Within 20 minutes, a nurse looked at Christine… she was now at 3 centimeters. We were staying; the Jelly Bean was on the way.
Labor Had Begun
I went back to my car, got all of her bags and off I went to register. Yes, it was a blur. One by one, our family began to trickle in into the waiting room.
The ground rules were simple: 3 people were allowed in Christine’s room, but it had to be the same three people. I was one of the three, of course, and I thought our mothers would be good picks because between them we were looking at six child births…
We told them all that this would be a long process… the nurses told us that “while no two women or pregnancies are identical”, a woman dilates one centimeter each hour, you’re not supposed to push until you are at 10 centimeters.
In case you are curious, here is the breakdown according to Wikipedia:
That meant that it would be seven more hours to go from 3 and 10 centimeters. We were now at 4:30… that meant Jelly Bean would not be here until 1:30am. Bear in mind, that’s just to get to 10 centimeters… you then have to push. That could take hours longer.
Christine’s contractions were getting stronger and more regular… we were now at every 5 minutes. In fact, they were coming on every 2-3 minutes at one point. During the pregnancy, we were warned about the chance of undergoing an emergency C-section and advised to consider taking a shot (or two) of Epidural.
After one hour of severe contractions, Christine’s mother began to ask about an epidural. I cannot say that Christine and I were for or against any of that, we sort of understood that the entire process could go either way and the epidural was one option to consider… In all honesty, I did not want people making decisions for Christine, either, but she was in great pain so I realized that taking the edge off was not a bad idea. It’s worth noting that an epidural is not a sedative, it’s akin to freezing of the mouth before one is pulled off. Eventually, Christine gave me the thumbs up and the doctor came in to give her a dose.
Within 15 minutes, she felt less pain and in all honesty, I am glad her mom recommended this.
From 5pm to 10pm… it was more of the same: contractions, adding more pain relief and a lot of waiting.
The mothers returned to the waiting room, and I sat there next to Christine just looking on helplessly. For once, there was nothing I could say to make things better, nothing I could do could make time move faster.
Damn it was frustrating.
Breaking the Water
When we got there at 4pm, Christine was at 3 centimeters. The doctor on hand asked us if we wanted to accelerate the process and break Christine’s water. For a few reasons, we passed. In the end, I don’t think it would have been a bad idea… ultimately, before midnight, around 10:30, the doctor broke her water to accelerate the process.
From 11pm to midnight, it was clear that our child would not be born on the 27th, but the 28th… I began to dream of the things I’d be doing with our little girl.
A Big Scare
The human mind is a funny thing. One second you are day dreaming, the next you are living a nightmare.
We lack perspective, and it takes a jolt to inject some sense into us.
Throughout the pregnancy, the doctor told us that our little munchkin has a good heart. Throughout labor, all signals were strong… but then a few minutes after midnight… I could not help but see that the nurse and doctor became concerned. I would not say alarmed, but certainly worried.
They told me that all of a sudden the baby’s heartbeat had slowed down, Christine was bleeding too much for the stage she was in (she was at around 5-6 centimeters dilated) and that we might lose the child - if not Christine, too - if we did not consider an emergency C-section.
I told the doctor and nurse that they were the experts and that if there was a risk to either Christine or the baby, I did not see any reason to delay the inevitable. The doctor was relieved to hear that, saying that they would give Christine something and put on an oxygen mask to get help the little fatso that was coming down Christine body.
You’ve Got to Pray
I excused myself and rushed to the waiting room and told my mom to come with me. On the way to Christine’s room, I told her not to panic, but that there was a hiccup and that she had to pray. I’m not the most religious person, heck I’d say I am atheist/agnostic… but like all self-respecting doubters, when the doubt of success creeps up, I will err on the side of caution. So my mom began to pray for Christine, the baby, myself and the doctors.
For a good six hours, I could hear the baby’s every heartbeat, beating rapidly. I kid you not, from midnight and for the next few hours, I listened attentively to the big machine and prayed for the heartbeats to keep beating, and beating faster. My nightmare was that the beats would stop… but they kept the beat and even began to take an uptick.
The doctor and nurse looked less worried… but I was frazzled.
At around 1am, my mother-in-law came in to Christine’s room. We had not told her about the details, simply saying that we were not in the clear… she got nervous, but by then, the worst was sort of over.
At around 1:30am, Christine’s bleeding had stabilized, the baby’s heartbeat had accelerated and I was a bit less worried. I kid you not, the prayers worked… I don’t know or care if they actually did… I just believe that they did.
We were at over 8 centimeters.
Almost There
By 2am… the nurse came in and the doctor was about to go into a C-Section in another room. So we had to make a decision: either we opt for a C-section now or the doctor might be busy and we go for a natural birth (Canada has an amazing health care system, but its got its quirks, too).
As I said, there were a lot of babies on that evening!
The nurse and doctor convened and the decision was made to opt for a natural birth. Bear in mind, a C-section is less risky for the child insofar that the doctors cut up the mother and pull out the baby. It’s not riskless, au contraire, it is risker for the mother. Moreover, while a woman giving a natural birth can be up and running in 24-36 hours… a C-section requires 5 days of recovery at a hospital and up to weeks of rest.
By now, I did not want to be excited prematurely, but the Jelly Bean was on the way, we were at 8 centimeters.
From 8 centimeters we seemed to leapfrog to 10 centimeters; by 2:30am, the nurse came in and said the kid could be here by 3am. It was surreal. Christine was not in her 15th hour of labor, we had been at the hospital for nearly 12 hours and after a considerable scare, things were now on pace for a natural pregnancy.
Push!
At 3am, we called the doctor who was tending to a few pregnancies going on at once. Christine was now at 10 centimeters, it was time to push.
I always figured that I would want to be in the room alongside Christine, but I would not be able to be near here or see the main event. I guess the scare at midnight made me man up and stand by her side. I was actually holding one of her legs and chatting it up between contractions.
Ah yes, the contractions. They were now coming every 2-3 minutes… and lasting some 30-60 second.
At each contraction, the nurses would ask Christine to:
- take a deep breath
- push for ten seconds.
While some of the women in the other rooms would be screaming, Christine was silent throughout at the suggestion of the nurses.
Between 3am and 4:30am, Christine breathed, pushed, repeated…
In fact, by 4:15am, when I would veer over, I could actually see the little girl’s head… her dark hair made her look like an avocado… contraction after contraction, she was getting closer to seeing the light of day…
By 4:40am… it was pretty clear that she would be arriving at any second.
And then, at 4:34am, Christine pushed one last time and out came a 6.002 pound miracle.
We had decided to name her Roxana, after my grandmother…
More to come soon.
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