I remember a time when Mario not only dominated gaming, but had his own Saturday morning cartoon, terrible (yet wildly amusing) movie starring Bob Hoskins… and was featured on every kind of product imaginable!
What happened Nintendo? Why isn’t Mario on my can of noodles or toilet paper anymore? It saddens me to think that kids need to game in order to get their fill of flying plumbers and giant turtles. Where’s my Mario Bros. Movie remake? What about product placement or cartoon shows?
Well, in case you’re feeling nostalgic as well, check out these clips for a taste of what Mario could have been (outside of gaming) if given some out-of-the-question box thinking…
Here’s the 3 minute trailer for the amusing fan made “Mario Kart: The Movie” ….what delightful costumes!
This is what a Seth MacFarlane Saturday Monring cartoon would look like:
And I thought we’d end off by doing the Mario dance!:
Dragon’s Age Origins is another RPG by BioWare, the publisher behind Mass Effect. Over the last few weeks I have been playing the game in every spare moment I have. The game has intense battles, gorgeous graphics and an epic Lord of The Rings like Storyline.
But you could imagine my giddiness when I discovered that Dragon Age was crafted by dirty little programmers! And I’m not just talking about the good stuff, but the wacky stuff as well. The variety could make even the most serious player laugh and fall out of their chair, especially due to the fact that your Avatar can look pretty darned close to how you look (If you take the time to sculpt the facial features).
Dragon’s Age Origins is one of the few games that lets you have choice. Not only in weapons, armor and fighting companions…but bed mates. Ever wanted to sleep with a sorceress? Great, you can do that… What about a fat bearded dwarf…or a she-male…or a…No! EWWW! That’s Just Wrong!!!…yup…you can do that too!
I find it fascinating that the Mass Effect games have been getting so much press and hype over their tame sex scenes when Dragons Age Origins has easily ten times the naughtiness as well as a kink factor.
Let’s take a look shall we? Here is a scene with a sorceress (and a Dwarf!):
The Pearl is the local brothel in the land of Ferelden. Inside you can pay 30 silver for your choice of “Women, Men, A Bit of Both, or Surprise Me”. Here is a compilation clip, skip to 2:00 to see what a bit of both means:
Here is a disturbing “meeting” with your elven companion who sounds a bit too much like Antonio Banderas:
And of course you can always “negotiate” with demons:
Mega Man 10 is coming in full retro 8-bit form, complete with a whole new team of robot masters (bosses). Among these is Sheep Man. This makes me wonder if I’ll need to first defeat Sheppard Man in order to obtain his sheer power to defeat Sheep Man? Get it…Sheer…as in to…never mind.
Here’s a pic of the fuzzy (and adorable) killer robot from a recent Nintendo Power Magazine:
This reminds me of a hilarious live-action comedy skit that pokes fun at Wily’s expensive and fruitless choice in Robot creations, check it out:
While playing the random shooter here and there, I’ve come to realize that something’s missing! Call me crazy, but I like to have a little bit of comic relief mixed in with a cloud of nausea induced explosives. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
That’s right, I’m talking about the iconic N-Bomb from the original N64 Perfect Dark! This baby would not only blot out the sun (or virtual florescent lighting)…but would create a sphere of pure nausea. Anyone caught in the blast radius would have their frame rate drop and get blurred vision. Believe me, playing 4-player split screen on a 13inch tube television (that’s what I had as a kid) would cause someone to lose their lunch. I wonder why Perfect Dark Zero didn’t feature the weapon, it was a blast!
Here’s an amusing little video of a battle with only N-Bomb selected (have a paper bag ready):
I know its a bad pun with Groundhog’s Day being just behind us (and the fact that Sonic isn’t a groundhog), but I can’t help but make connections when ironic timing is involved! I’m referring to the fact that after 16 painful years, and countless terrible attempts to make a good 3D game, sonic is going 2D…again!
I think this is a welcome and smart move on the part of Sega. Sonic was never meant for the 3D world, as his sense of speed is better left to a flat 2-Dimensional layout.
But if you ask me, the one other thing that will truly save the sonic series has been starring them in the face for over a decade… Change Dr. Eggman’s name back to Dr. Robotnik! This is on my top 10 list of dumbest game changes ever. What kid wants to fight an Eggman? That’s like changing King Koopa’s name from Bowser to “Turtle Monster”…Stooopid!
Anyways, here’s the trailer for the new Sonic The Hedgehog 4, which will be a download only game:
A few weeks ago I attended the Montreal Auto show. And though I like cars, I like video games even more (especially racing games). So, you can imagine my excitement when I came upon a multi-screen racing simulator with a rumbling cockpit! I was like a kid at a petting zoo freaking out over the weird looking animals…while eating candy and jumping around screaming!
What excites me about this style of gaming is that today it is very affordable. It’s existed forever, but today it simply doesn’t cost much to hook up three 20 inch+ sized LCD monitors to a computer with a compatible video card. I don’t know about you, but I see myself with this kind of setup attached to the end of my bed in less then three years time. That’s right folks, I’m going nowhere fast, and then I’m passing out!
I thought I’d take this opportunity to also mention that I came 4th in the F1 Racing sim for the entire day of competition (a measly 2 seconds away from making the top three).
In BioShock2 gamers will finally be able to venture back to the depths of the mysterious and deadly underwater city of Rapture. In this gallery, we’ll fill you in on what you need to know about the game’s unique plot and updates that carry it above it’s predecessor.
Over the years there have been a total of 35 games that had to do with Aliens, Predators and both combined. From these there have been 13 based exclusively on the two hideous aliens and their rivalry.
For this week’s Thursday flashback I thought we’d take a trip down memory lane and have a look at some of the most popular entries in the Aliens Vs. Predator game franchise.
1992 Super Nintendo Game:
1994 Atari Jaguar game (complete with cheesy dialogue):
1994 4-Player Capcom Arcade classic.
And here is the 1999 PC Game by Rebellion:
The release of the sequel to Rebellion’s 1999 classic Aliens Vs. Predator is just around the corner (Feb 9th).
Luckily, you too can join the many brave gamers (with a thirst for Alien on Predator combat) that have been downloading the game’s just released multiplayer demo!
For those who are too scared to let themselves be hunted by an Alien with more teeth than a Brit….check out this fresh new footage of the 3-way multiplayer battles.
Enjoy!
Star Trek’s first massive multiplayer online role-playing game has just landed.
The game is set 30 years after the events of the film Star Trek: Nemesis, and at the beginning of 2009’s Star Trek reboot (sort of). I find this (as presented in the game’s narrated opening) pretty confusing!
According to the new Star Trek flick… Nemesis never happened. Furthermore, Spock (Leonard Nimoy) narrates the opening to explain what happened after he got sucked into the black hole in his original timeline. How would he know what happened?
Why merge the awesome new movie with the film that killed the next generation films?
Still, check out the game’s intro and trailer and let me know if you think it’s worth the heavy subscription fee of $15 a month ($180 per year). I tell you one thing, if it took place during the original series I’d be more keen. Space never looked this cluttered!
PLAY
