Nerve Magazine has been called “Playboy’s body with the New Yorker’s brain” and the tentacles of its empire have grasped the realms of film, television, books and online personals. Their marriage to Urban Outfitters has allowed for the insemination of their “knowledge” into the curious cannon of “experts”. It is stated in the intro of their latest endeavor that the project was initially embarked upon with the expectation that humorously bad advice would be harvested and the result was that humorously good advice was extracted instead.
The full title is Sex Advice From…: DJs, Sorority Girls, Cowboys, Car Dealers, Bartenders, Pool Cleaners, Hairstylists, and More! though the most interesting entries come from the “everyman” categories, namely the Unemployed People and Stoners. Other notable categories that get points for originality are Aspiring Chippendales, Bloggers (yea! we are considered when people think of sexperts!), Deli Workers, Diplomats, Mensa Members, Vegans, Midwives, Santas, Sideshow Performers, Roller Derby Girls and Bike Messengers.
The consensus is that oral sex is good, people who don’t do it suck (or don’t for that matter), and taste, smell and sight are important, so it goes to show that people are more concerned with the “sense” in sensual than we are quick to give them credit for (there will be a Watch Mojo video clip about this subject coming up so keep your eyeballs peeled and your ears perked). The questions also seemed to be focused on the topics of hair, availability, and not ignoring the balls (the testicular kind).
The best way to end a review on a book that is such an eclectic mélange is to let the content speak for itself. Here are a few entries that are simply priceless:
When a male model was asked the “line” that differentiates degrees of same sex interaction, he responds, “…That’s the line. You can’t put the private part in your mouth. It works the other way too, two guys or two girls making out is just that, until something puts something in their mouth”. He also advocates carrying lube everywhere, just in case. Another male model responds to the same question, “If they’re still there for breakfast, you’re bisexual”.
The element of unexpected is strong in sections like the Cowboy section, and with the Deli Worker, who responds to the question of “What product do you sell that’s best for self-stimulation?” with “I believe Dawn dish liquid will serve all purposes. It can lube, and the bottle can stimulate. It’s definitely a two in one.” It makes you wonder about the field research that people conduct to arrive at these results.
My personal favorite person polled is a Competitive Eater because she shows some real innovation and thought in her answers. When asked about food’s role in the bedroom, she responds, “Not to be close-minded, but I don’t want a man to be eating a peeled banana out of my asshole. Also, if you like big burly men like I do, you know that whipped cream of chocolate syrup and copius amounts of body hair just do not mix”. Also, her rules of being a fuck buddy are right on the money, “The Fuck Buddy Club is like the US Senate-most people don’t get in, and the ones that do aren’t sure how they got there. They’re both exclusive, but the difference is that they pass laws and we hump. Don’t make a big deal of it, and you’ll keep coming back term after term”. See? I bet that will make you think twice the next time you want to dismiss a competitive eater as a mere dumdum.