Name: Mesquite (www.mesquite.ca)
Address: 3857 Boul. Decarie (MAP)
Tel: (514) 487-5066
Cuisine: BBQ, Cajun, Creole, Southern
You know, when I walked into Mesquite, I wasn’t intending on reviewing them. But when the place ruined my Friday night, I changed my mind. As much as part of that decision was grounded in veangance, another part was grounded in a sense of civic duty to spare others a similar fate of dropping thirty bucks a head on third-rate BBQ.
Now, the place did have a bunch of reviews from the local mainstream media laminated and hanging on the wall, so I guess that it’s my word against that of established and respectable journalists food critics. So if you want to gamble that kind of cash, time, and appetite away, that’s your call. If you’re not a gambling (wo)man, though, you might want to give me the benefit of the doubt for at least as long as it’ll take to read the next few paragraphs.
For starters, the ambiance was sterile, non-descript, and looked like it was inspired by last season’s Pier 1 Imports catalogue — except that the decorator wasn’t actually working a Pier 1 kind of budget. Basically, it feels like what might happen if Denny’s went after the upwardly mobile thirty-something market.
I walked in at about 7pm on a Friday, but there wasn’t music playing, and the lights were all the way up. It was lucky that I’m a CCR fan, though, because when the music finally came on, though, it tuned out that the management’s idea of southern soul is the double-disc of CCR greatest hits beign played over and over again..
The staff seemed to be there mostly to entertain each other than actually try to sell you anything off of the menu. Before they’d taken our drink orders, they were asking us if we knew what we wanted. We suggested starting with drinks and, had I known, I would’ve ordered two beers instead of one because once that the last I saw of them until the food was abruptly dropped on the table.
Now, normally, I’d guess that anyone who ordered something called pulled pork deserved whatever they had coming to them, but the staff seemed to really be behind it before they disappeared, so I gave it shot. It turns out that pulled pork is one of the most tender ways pork can be prepared. At Mesquite, though, that texture is drowned out in B-list sauce that tasted as though it came out of the club-pack aisle. The waitress had described it as tangy, but if I’d been a suicidal diabetic, I would’ve been in heaven – literally, pun intended, and all that jazz.
The vegetarian fajitas were similarly disappointing. The veggies were served on a skillet, but were nothing more than a mound of onions with a few peppers on top for appearances. Although the guacamole was impressive (and tangy, unlike the house BBQ sauce), there wasn’t much of a spoonful of it to go around. Furthermore, the only other condiments were equally meagre portions of bakes beans (wtf?) and Monteray Jack cheese (also wtf?). No sour cream and no salsa.
Our meals done, the waitress still hadn’t been by to (1) ask us how things were, (2) inquire as to whether she could get us anything else, or (3) refill our waters – something that would be nice after so much sugar in the BBQ sauce. So it wasn’t a surprise that trying to get some coffee, dessert, or the bill was a challenge.
My advice to you, then, if you’re in the NDG area and are craving some fine Cajun or Creole cuisine is to check our La Louisiane. About a five minute drive from Mesquite, the food is delectable and the service exceptional. Mesquite, on the other hand, is a cookhouse-con, scamming you into paying bistro prices for diner quality.
CT Moore also blogs full-time about new media at the Gypsy Bandito Vlog and about search engine marketing at the SearchAnyway Blog.
Name: Jardin Asean (www.jardinasean.ca)
Address: 5828 Sherbrooke. O (MAP)
Tel: (514) 487-8868
Cuisine: Szechuan, Sushi, Dim Sum, Thai
As far as Asian tasting menus go, Jardin Asean is probably one of the best bets in the city. All four of their cuisines are available a la carte or all-you-can-eat. Depending on the night, the all-you-cab-eat ranges between $23-$26/person, and you can mix and match cuisines.
What’s nicest about the sushi is that you don’t have to pay for what you don’t eat. It also doesn’t suck which is surprising for anything that comes with all-you-can-eat attacehd to its name. In fact, except for the roll that feature cream cheese and lox, it’s remarkably good sushi sushi.
The Szechuan can be hit or miss, but it’s never disappointing. The dim sum is like what I imagine Chinese home cooking would be like. There’s also a seaweed salad that is possibly the daintiest (whatever the f**k that means) appetizer I’ve ever had.
Jardin Asean also features a list of specialty or exotic drinks that I’ve never tried, but they sure do seem colourful in the pictures on the drink card. Another bright and colourful beverage, come to think of it, is the green tea. It comes in glass pots, and is a shade of green that’s not unlike Mountain Dew. It tastes fine, though, so I drink it anyway.
As far as ambiance goes, it’s not a place to bring a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date — in case the all-you-can-eat menu didn’t already lead you to that conclusion. As impressive as all the reds against a backdrop of stained wood is, they remind you constantly that you’re in a Chinese restaurant.
The service, finally, is neither bad nor good. The staff are just friendly enough that tipping them 15% is just plain fair. Especially in light of how much you can eat for twenty-five beans, you could probably tip them 20% and still come out ahead.
CT Moore also blogs full-time about new media at the Gypsy Bandito Vlog and about search engine marketing at the SearchAnyway Blog.
