10- Fund universal health care by making Wesley Snipes pay his taxes.
9- Give the presidency a rumpled, Walter Matthau quality.
8- The freezing over of hell should solve our global warming crisis.
7- Get those people off that island in “Lost”.
6- Send Gary Busey in to annoy and confuse our enemies.
5- Can fill out a pansuit better than Hilary.
4- Will Hover in polls betweeen 1% and “Statistically Insignificant.”
3- Force Starbucks to identify their sizes “Small,” “Medium,” and “Larger”–am I right people?
2- Will not sleep with lobbyists, or for that matter anyone else.
1- Get Bush re-elected like in 2000.
According to The Late Show With David Letterman on www.cbs.com