Top 10 Cartoon Characters that Should Be in Prison
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Lock them up and throw away the key! Welcome to WatchMojo.com and today we will be counting down our picks for the top ten cartoon characters that should be in prison.
Protagonist or antagonist alike, breaking the law in the cartoon world seems to get a free pass. Although mostly exaggerated, most animated brushes with justice lead to inconsequential repercussions. Yet, for this list, we can think of a few ne’er-do-wells that most definitely belong in prison…or at least the back of a police car. For fairness’ sake, we will not be including supervillains on this list, as they deserve a list of their own.
#10: Roger
He may be under the protection of Stan Smith, but that doesn’t stop Roger from scheming up a storm with various false alter egos. Once outside the Smith household, Roger finds himself waist deep in what would surely be identity theft and fraud charges in the real world. The irony is not lost on the writers of “American Dad!” either, considering that most of Roger’s deceptive identities are either in jail or wanted for a wide range of crimes such as drug trafficking, abuse and possibly even serial murder. With even an entire floor of the CIA dedicated to finding and capturing him, it is safe to say that Roger indeed deserves to go down for his dastardly deeds.
#9: Lil’ Gideon Gleeful
At first, taking on the appearance of a traveling child psychic, the pig-nosed and conniving Lil’ Gideon soon proves himself to be quite the villainous mastermind. On top of commercial sabotage on Grunkle Stan’s Mystery Shack, Gideon’s criminal record proves to be quite extensive, with attempted murder charges as well as overt fraud. However, the biggest crime in Gideon’s file would have to be when he summoned the mind-demon Bill Cipher into Gravity Falls, allowing for Cipher’s eventual near-destruction of the universe. We’re not even sure how to classify that one…
#8: Vicky
There are some babysitters you just shouldn’t leave your kids at home with. Such is the case with the Turner family when they hire Vicky, the sadistic midriff-baring sixteen-year-old. Although she would be tried as a minor, Vicky’s track record is less than clean, exposing poor Timmy to various weapons and acts of cruelty that should have had Mr. and Mrs. Turner scrambling for a Nanny Cam. Yet Vicky’s incredible ability to act pleasant around adults makes her an unsuspected predator once she is alone with children. Pretty much the reason for Timmy’s need for his fairy godparents, Vicky’s psychological abuse could very well lead to a dangerous future for Timmy.
#7: Mr. Krabs
He may have the citizens of Bikini Bottom scrambling to his restaurant for Krabby Patties, but Eugene H. Krabs’ mistreatment of his own employees would get him in serious hot water with any respectable labor board. With working conditions bordering on slavery, Mr. Krabs’ stingy business model is downright illegal. In a more major turn of events, the shrewd restaurateur has also poisoned his loyal customers with tainted food and caused the near-genocide of Bikini Bottom’s jellyfish population, all in the name of turning a profit. He also famously plotted the murder of health inspector Yellowtail using SpongeBob as an accomplice.
#6: Homer Simpson
Let’s just say that if there were an award for world’s greatest dad, Homer Simpson would not even be in the running for a shot at the title. With instances of child abuse, especially in his routine strangling of Bart in public and in private, drunk driving, and negligence at a dangerous nuclear power station, Homer Simpson probably should be thrown in jail every so often for intense rehabilitation. Not the only Springfieldian to dabble in petty crime, another potential candidate could be the evil tycoon C. Montgomery Burns, who has done everything from racketeering to enslaving a missing Brazilian soccer team for free labor.
#5: Sterling Archer
He may be the world’s deadliest spy, but the seriously amoral and selfish Sterling Archer should definitely be under the eye of the law. Pretty much a visual stand-in for shady intelligence operatives of the twentieth century, Archer’s lavish lifestyle is that of someone who truly believes he is above the rules. Seeing that he has orchestrated various shady operations with his covert agency, ranging from drug trafficking to orchestrating a coup in Central America, Archer’s body count alone should require some heavy investigation. We’re wondering what other crazy shenanigans Archer will get mixed up into in future seasons.
#4: Eric Cartman
With a borderline sociopathic disorder, Eric Cartman has committed more crimes before age thirteen than most career criminals accomplish in a lifetime. Cartman’s biggest offenses can be chalked up to disturbing the peace in forms of prejudiced and hateful rallies, as well as the kidnapping and attempted murder of non-gingers. But Cartman’s most disturbing offense is definitely the murder by proxy of local bully Scott Tenorman’s parents. While he didn’t pull the trigger himself, Cartman did go the extra sadistic mile by having the victims’ bodies ground up and cooked into chilli, which was eventually fed to an unsuspecting Tenorman. He also purposefully infected Kyle with AIDS out of spite. Bone-chilling, indeed!
#3: Peter Griffin
He may just be a normal man living his life in Quahog, but Peter Griffin has racked up a laundry list of crimes both petty and major. His outright emotional abuse of his daughter Meg, as well has his constant public intoxication (and sometimes drug use) could have him sent away to the big house for a few years at least. On a much larger scale, Peter has also committed sexual harassment, robbing a bank, and blowing up a children’s hospital. Much like his evil infant son Stewie, who also has a mile-long criminal track record, the oafish Peter Griffin should definitely be considered Public Enemy Number One.
#2: Rick Sanchez
Whatever the crime, this guy has probably done it all. Mad scientist and functioning alcoholic Rick Sanchez has the dubious honor of committing heinous crimes in not just one, but an infinite number of existential planes, leading to the destruction of entire universes and species. Even responsible for killing versions of himself, Rick’s carefree attitude makes him a remorseless super-criminal. Although he technically was put away for his various offenses, this turned out to be a ploy to steal his portal gun formula, meaning that the tragic anti-hero of Rick & Morty has never truly answered for his very disturbing crimes.
Before we unveil our top pick here are a few honorable—or in this case, dishonorable—mentions.
Eustace Bagge
“Courage the Cowardly Dog” (1999-2002)
Vic Reynolds
“F Is for Family” (2015-)
Beavis and Butt-Head
“Beavis and Butt-Head” (1993-97; 2011)
#1: Glenn Quagmire
It doesn’t really need to be said, but there’s something overtly wrong about being a proud predator. No stranger to terrifying acts of depravity, Glenn Quagmire fits the bill for being one of the worst offenders to get away with his crimes. Committing almost every disgusting crime under the sun, Quagmire wouldn’t stand a chance staying clear of the courts in the post-Harvey Weinstein/#MeToo world of today. On top of all that, “Family Guy” creators turned Quagmire into a horrific sadist in a tasteless parody that had the deviant murder the entire Simpson family, including infant Maggie! Let’s just say it is high time for Quagmire to “giggity-giggity-go-down.”
Protagonist or antagonist alike, breaking the law in the cartoon world seems to get a free pass. Although mostly exaggerated, most animated brushes with justice lead to inconsequential repercussions. Yet, for this list, we can think of a few ne’er-do-wells that most definitely belong in prison…or at least the back of a police car. For fairness’ sake, we will not be including supervillains on this list, as they deserve a list of their own.
#10: Roger
“American Dad!” (2005-)
He may be under the protection of Stan Smith, but that doesn’t stop Roger from scheming up a storm with various false alter egos. Once outside the Smith household, Roger finds himself waist deep in what would surely be identity theft and fraud charges in the real world. The irony is not lost on the writers of “American Dad!” either, considering that most of Roger’s deceptive identities are either in jail or wanted for a wide range of crimes such as drug trafficking, abuse and possibly even serial murder. With even an entire floor of the CIA dedicated to finding and capturing him, it is safe to say that Roger indeed deserves to go down for his dastardly deeds.
#9: Lil’ Gideon Gleeful
“Gravity Falls” (2012-16)
At first, taking on the appearance of a traveling child psychic, the pig-nosed and conniving Lil’ Gideon soon proves himself to be quite the villainous mastermind. On top of commercial sabotage on Grunkle Stan’s Mystery Shack, Gideon’s criminal record proves to be quite extensive, with attempted murder charges as well as overt fraud. However, the biggest crime in Gideon’s file would have to be when he summoned the mind-demon Bill Cipher into Gravity Falls, allowing for Cipher’s eventual near-destruction of the universe. We’re not even sure how to classify that one…
#8: Vicky
“The Fairly OddParents” (2001-17)
There are some babysitters you just shouldn’t leave your kids at home with. Such is the case with the Turner family when they hire Vicky, the sadistic midriff-baring sixteen-year-old. Although she would be tried as a minor, Vicky’s track record is less than clean, exposing poor Timmy to various weapons and acts of cruelty that should have had Mr. and Mrs. Turner scrambling for a Nanny Cam. Yet Vicky’s incredible ability to act pleasant around adults makes her an unsuspected predator once she is alone with children. Pretty much the reason for Timmy’s need for his fairy godparents, Vicky’s psychological abuse could very well lead to a dangerous future for Timmy.
#7: Mr. Krabs
“SpongeBob SquarePants” (1999-)
He may have the citizens of Bikini Bottom scrambling to his restaurant for Krabby Patties, but Eugene H. Krabs’ mistreatment of his own employees would get him in serious hot water with any respectable labor board. With working conditions bordering on slavery, Mr. Krabs’ stingy business model is downright illegal. In a more major turn of events, the shrewd restaurateur has also poisoned his loyal customers with tainted food and caused the near-genocide of Bikini Bottom’s jellyfish population, all in the name of turning a profit. He also famously plotted the murder of health inspector Yellowtail using SpongeBob as an accomplice.
#6: Homer Simpson
“The Simpsons” (1989-)
Let’s just say that if there were an award for world’s greatest dad, Homer Simpson would not even be in the running for a shot at the title. With instances of child abuse, especially in his routine strangling of Bart in public and in private, drunk driving, and negligence at a dangerous nuclear power station, Homer Simpson probably should be thrown in jail every so often for intense rehabilitation. Not the only Springfieldian to dabble in petty crime, another potential candidate could be the evil tycoon C. Montgomery Burns, who has done everything from racketeering to enslaving a missing Brazilian soccer team for free labor.
#5: Sterling Archer
“Archer” (2009-)
He may be the world’s deadliest spy, but the seriously amoral and selfish Sterling Archer should definitely be under the eye of the law. Pretty much a visual stand-in for shady intelligence operatives of the twentieth century, Archer’s lavish lifestyle is that of someone who truly believes he is above the rules. Seeing that he has orchestrated various shady operations with his covert agency, ranging from drug trafficking to orchestrating a coup in Central America, Archer’s body count alone should require some heavy investigation. We’re wondering what other crazy shenanigans Archer will get mixed up into in future seasons.
#4: Eric Cartman
“South Park” (1997-)
With a borderline sociopathic disorder, Eric Cartman has committed more crimes before age thirteen than most career criminals accomplish in a lifetime. Cartman’s biggest offenses can be chalked up to disturbing the peace in forms of prejudiced and hateful rallies, as well as the kidnapping and attempted murder of non-gingers. But Cartman’s most disturbing offense is definitely the murder by proxy of local bully Scott Tenorman’s parents. While he didn’t pull the trigger himself, Cartman did go the extra sadistic mile by having the victims’ bodies ground up and cooked into chilli, which was eventually fed to an unsuspecting Tenorman. He also purposefully infected Kyle with AIDS out of spite. Bone-chilling, indeed!
#3: Peter Griffin
“Family Guy” (1999-)
He may just be a normal man living his life in Quahog, but Peter Griffin has racked up a laundry list of crimes both petty and major. His outright emotional abuse of his daughter Meg, as well has his constant public intoxication (and sometimes drug use) could have him sent away to the big house for a few years at least. On a much larger scale, Peter has also committed sexual harassment, robbing a bank, and blowing up a children’s hospital. Much like his evil infant son Stewie, who also has a mile-long criminal track record, the oafish Peter Griffin should definitely be considered Public Enemy Number One.
#2: Rick Sanchez
“Rick & Morty” (2013-)
Whatever the crime, this guy has probably done it all. Mad scientist and functioning alcoholic Rick Sanchez has the dubious honor of committing heinous crimes in not just one, but an infinite number of existential planes, leading to the destruction of entire universes and species. Even responsible for killing versions of himself, Rick’s carefree attitude makes him a remorseless super-criminal. Although he technically was put away for his various offenses, this turned out to be a ploy to steal his portal gun formula, meaning that the tragic anti-hero of Rick & Morty has never truly answered for his very disturbing crimes.
Before we unveil our top pick here are a few honorable—or in this case, dishonorable—mentions.
Eustace Bagge
“Courage the Cowardly Dog” (1999-2002)
Vic Reynolds
“F Is for Family” (2015-)
Beavis and Butt-Head
“Beavis and Butt-Head” (1993-97; 2011)
#1: Glenn Quagmire
“Family Guy” (1999-)
It doesn’t really need to be said, but there’s something overtly wrong about being a proud predator. No stranger to terrifying acts of depravity, Glenn Quagmire fits the bill for being one of the worst offenders to get away with his crimes. Committing almost every disgusting crime under the sun, Quagmire wouldn’t stand a chance staying clear of the courts in the post-Harvey Weinstein/#MeToo world of today. On top of all that, “Family Guy” creators turned Quagmire into a horrific sadist in a tasteless parody that had the deviant murder the entire Simpson family, including infant Maggie! Let’s just say it is high time for Quagmire to “giggity-giggity-go-down.”
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