Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of All Time

Script written by Nick Spake

Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of All Time

Some things are funny no matter what decade it is! Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of all time.

For this list, we’re looking at the most quotable and hilarious lines in movies from the 1970s to the mid-2010s.

#10: The Judgment
“Billy Madison” (1995)

Although we came close to awarding this spot to a certain pants peeing line, we simply couldn’t deny one of the funniest insults of all time a place on this list. Subsequent to giving a passionate, powerful speech that results in resounding applause, Billy Madison is brought down to reality by the principal’s judgment. He doesn’t just tell Billy that his answer is wrong; he flat-out condemns Billy’s words in the most mortifying, longwinded, and sidesplittingly straight-faced way possible. It may be harsh but – in light of Sandler’s more recent films – the criticism is well earned.

#9: I Get Older; They Stay the Same Age
“Dazed and Confused” (1993)

Up until the McConaissance, this line was easily Matthew McConaughey’s greatest contribution to the art of cinema. In “Dazed and Confused,” McConaughey plays David Wooderson, a 20-something who still hangs out with high school teenagers. Although he may be getting on in years, Wooderson is eternally young at heart – we’ll just overlook the fact that his shallow lifestyle is likely to land him in jail one day. In this scene, the laidback hippie shares his philosophy on high school girls. Aside from, “Ha, ha, ha,” all you can say to that is, “alright, alright, alright.”

#8: A Different Kind of Iron Chef
“Superbad” (2007)

“Superbad” is another laugh a minute comedy where the one-liners fly by so fast that you need to watch it multiple times just to catch them all. One particular quote that’s etched into the halls of comic quotability, however, is Seth’s game plan to become a sex god in time for college. While the rant is a riot on a writing level, it’s the way Jonah Hill puts emphasis on the word “vaj,” that elevates the line into a comedic league of its own.

#7: Totally Redeem Yourself
“Dumb and Dumber” (1994)

It takes truly ingenious filmmakers to conceive dialogue that’s so stupid and yet so smart at the same time, and the Farrelly Brothers nail it. “Dumb and Dumber” is a model example, dishing out one big laugh after another. While Lloyd’s inadvertently insulting comment toward senior citizens is one of his dumber moments, he proves himself even dumber when he trades the shaggin’ wagon for a dinky moped. Then just when it looks like Harry is going to prove himself slightly more intelligent than his companion, he delivers the film’s absolute best line.

#6: Welcome to the 21st Century, Buck Rogers
“This Is the End” (2013)

It brings together an assortment of this generation’s funniest people, so how could “This Is the End” be anything short of a laugh riot? As Earth’s remaining population slowly loses their patience, minds, and humanity, they revert from being Neanderthals that jerk off to Internet porn to Neanderthals that jerk off to magazines. Danny McBride’s inability to keep it in his pants and James Franco’s discovery of his houseguest’s… essence prompts this priceless line. Well, it’s better than what would’ve happened if Emma Watson had stuck around…

#5: Rude Words
“Team America: World Police” (2004)

Remember when your mom said you shouldn’t curse because it’s rude and not funny? She lied. Matt Stone and Trey Parker have been proving her wrong for decades, as the two have a gift for making brilliant political commentary in the most childish and disgusting ways. Nowhere is that better represented than in the climax of “Team America: World Police.” Delivering a passionate speech, Gary speaks a truth that every nation can understand. Well, what can you say to that but God bless America!

#4: Your Mother Was a Hamster
“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)

It was tempting to recognize a certain line from “Life of Brian” here, but we could not overlook the taunting French guard from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” We’ve heard some bizarre insults in our time, but only the comedic geniuses of Monty Python would ever think to compare someone’s mother to a hamster and insult their father’s elderberry stench. It’s hard to explain just why this line makes people die with laughter every time, but we can’t help but constantly quote it.

#3: Bigger Titties Than You Do
“Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” (1999)

Nearly everything that emanates out of this Fat Bastard is a riot; he just has too many quotable lines to count. His defining moment, however, has to be in this classic scene from “The Spy Who Shagged Me” as he lets out why he’s so unhappy on the outside and the inside. Although we’re supposed to feel sorry about his ample bosom, multiple chins, and a D.O.A. johnson, all we can do is bust a gut at his misery. And what could be funnier funnier than a wholesome, down home, good old-fashion fart?

#2: Fit Inside the Building
“Zoolander” (2001)

The funniest line of the 2000s comes from one of comedy’s most ingenious minds and dumbest characters. Upon the unveiling of a model for The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too, our title character is not impressed. Mistaking the small-scale model for the real deal, the fashion model throws a hissy fit that could only come from the world’s most boneheaded diva. For Derek’s vision to come to fruition, the center needs to be at least…three times bigger. Clearly, Zoolander is all hair gel and no brain.

Before we crack up at our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:

You Know…Morons
“Blazing Saddles” (1974)

Don’t Knock Masturbation
“Annie Hall” (1977)

A Bag of Sand
“The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (2005)

Memorable Afternoon
“Arthur” (1981)

Lump of Coal Up His Ass
“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)

Climb That Like a Tree
“Bridesmaids” (2011)

#1: Don’t Call Me Shirley
“Airplane!” (1980)
Touching down on runway number one is another priceless ‘80s line from Leslie Nielsen. Up until then known as a dramatic actor, Nielsen’s future as a comedic legend was set in stone with these immortal words. While the line itself will put a smile on anyone’s face, it’s the stone-faced way Nielsen says it with such solemn gravitas that causes the laugh-o-meter to skyrocket off the charts. Because it’s delivered just as straight as it would be in a true disaster movie, Nielsen’s line is all the more funny.

Do you agree with our list? What do you think is the funniest movie quote of all time? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.