Another Top 10 Executed Criminals' Last Words
#10: “Shoot Straight”
Harry ‘Breaker’ Harbord Morant
Born in 1864, Breaker Morant served as an Anglo-Australian military officer. After fighting in the Anglo-Boer War, Morant was eventually court-martialed for war crimes. This sort of prosecution was unheard of at the time, but having committed the revenge killings of Prisoners of War and innocent civilians, he was convicted of murder in 1902. And Morant’s no-nonsense final choice of words likely elicited a small chuckle or smirk from those on the firing squad with a dark sense of humor: “Shoot straight, you bastards! Don’t make a mess of it!” And that... was that.
#9: “He Just Lost My Vote”
Christopher Scott Emmett
One fateful night in 2001, this Virginia-based roofer found himself sharing a motel room with a co-worker. After grilling and playing cards together, Emmett bludgeoned the man to death and stole his wallet to buy crack cocaine. Although his final words start out as you might expect - “Tell my family and friends I love them” - they quickly take an odd turn. Emmett managed to sneak in a jab at the government and make light of his fate before the lethal injection did him in - “Tell the governor he just lost my vote. Y’all hurry this along, I’m dying to get out of here.”
#8: “I’d Rather Be Fishing”
Jimmy L. Glass
Here’s yet another criminal with a seriously morbid funny streak. In 1982, Glass was serving a sentence in a Louisiana jail, when he escaped with a fellow inmate. While on the run, they murdered a husband and wife, and were soon after sentenced to death by electric chair. Glass gained national attention when he petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court claiming the chair was “cruel and unusual punishment,” but his plea was eventually shot down with a vote of 5-4. What followed was a set of final words that would fit better on a coffee mug: “I’d rather be fishing.”
#7: “Keep the Faith”
Richard Zeitvogel
Similar to Glass, Zeitvogel was already serving time when he committed the crime that earned him the death penalty. Unlike Glass however, he never left prison to commit it. Zeitvogel was arrested for robbery and rape in 1974. Ten years later, he made the decision to murder his cellmate; with prosecutors contending Zeitvogel did this because he wanted to be on death row with fellow inmate Frank Guinan. As shocking and deranged as this sequence of events was, his zen and laid back final words are even more baffling: sounding like he was on the way to a rock concert and not his execution, Zeitvogel said “Keep the faith, and rock on.”
#6: “I Just Want Everyone to Know…”
Edward Anthony Ellis
After being fired from his job as a maintenance worker in an apartment building, Ellis was convicted of strangling and killing 74-year-old resident Bertie Eakens in 1983, with eyewitness accounts and fingerprints corroborating his involvement in her murder. In the days before his execution, Ellis’ lawyer produced a confession letter allegedly written by another individual. At the time, Texas had the highest number of capital punishments in any state, and this new evidence did little to sway the court. Unsurprisingly, Ellis was unhappy with the verdict, and made those sentiments known with his final words: “I just want everyone to know that the prosecutor and Bill Scott are sorry sons of bitches.”
#5: “This Is Not an Execution”
Bennie Demps
In 1976, Demps was five years into a double life sentence for a double homicide in Lake County, Florida. An alleged snitch was discovered by Demps and a fellow inmate, and they stabbed him to death with a homemade knife. Unlike some others on this list, there was nothing humorous about Demps’ final words, which generated much controversy: “They butchered me back there, I was in a lot of pain. They cut me in the groin; they cut me in the leg. I was bleeding profusely. This is not an execution, it is murder.” His last words were called out to Demps’ lawyer, and added flame to the debate surrounding the treatment of death row inmates.
#4: “I Think That the Governor’s Phone Is Broke”
Jeffrey David Matthews
Matthews was yet another criminal who landed on death row for some truly horrifying acts. Along with accomplice Tracy Dyer, Matthews robbed his great aunt and uncle, resulting in both an attempted murder and a murder respectively. After downing a meat lover’s deep-dish pizza, fried shrimp and hush puppies as a final meal, Matthews gave a sentimental sendoff, telling his loved ones how much he cared for them. Having already received three stays of execution courtesy of Gov. Brad Henry, he went out with a humorous nod to the man, saying “I think that governor’s phone is broke. He hadn’t called yet.”
#3: “My Trial Attorney”
George Bernard Harris
It all started with a run of good luck at the casino. Harris won a considerable sum of money at the craps table on a winter’s day in 1989, and decided that purchasing two machine guns, an Uzi and a .45 caliber Thompson automatic, would be a wise investment. To no one’s surprise, it wasn’t, and a heated argument with the friend tasked with hiding the guns resulted in Harris murdering said friend. He was arrested just days later for armed robbery, and subsequently convicted of murder and sentenced to death. Harris’ last words were brash, startling and memorable to say the least: “Somebody needs to kill my trial attorney.”
#2: “Hoka Hey”
Clarence Ray Allen
Allen’s story is perhaps the darkest on our list. Beginning in 1974, he robbed a local market with his son. They pulled off the job successfully, but then the son’s 17-year-old girlfriend snitched on them. Allen subsequently ordered a hit on her, resulting in a life sentence in prison. While behind bars, Allen solicited help from a soon-to-be-released inmate to murder eight prosecution witnesses, to help ensure a shorter term when his case was appealed. It’s clear how unhinged Clarence Ray was, and this second hit resulted in three more murders. In the minutes preceding lethal injection, Allen proclaimed, “Hoka hey, it’s a good day to die.” Hoka hey, used by the Western Sioux Indians, means “hurry hurry.”
Before we unveil our number one pick, here are some honorable mentions:
- “Go Raiders”
Robert Charles Comer
- “I’m Ready to Roll. Time to Get This Party Started”
James Jackson
"Murderers! Murderers! Murderers!"
Eric Scott Branch
“I hope over time you can learn who I really am and I am not a monster..."
Jack Jones Jr.
“I have fought the good fight, I have run the good race...”
Rosendo Rodriguez III
#1: “Where’s My Stunt Double”
Vincent Gutierrez
It seems that many of these criminals would’ve made great standup comedians in a different life. Gutierrez joined two friends in the carjacking of U.S. Air Force Captain Jose Cobo one morning in 1997. It went horribly wrong, and Cobo was shot and killed. In 2007, Vincent was executed by lethal injection, but before dying, he made a wisecrack that likely left onlookers unsure how to respond. He asked, quite simply, while laughing: “Where’s a stunt double when you need one?” This is a textbook example of “gallows humor,” and it just goes to show that you can find something to laugh about even in the darkest of moments.
