Top 10 Cringiest 50 Shades of Grey Lines

Christian Grey is many things, a billionaire businessman for one, but he makes it clear from the get-go that he is not a romantic. When he and Ana have coffee together, she tells him that she is a romantic since that coincides with her English Lit major, and he tells her that he doesn’t do the girlfriend thing. He says this right before he commits the ridiculously romantic act of sending her first edition novels while quoting the books on the card. Not too much time later, he would mutter this line that is contradictory to everything he’s done so far, but right on par for what’s to come in the first act of the film.

During Ana and Christian’s first meeting, there are several moments that make us wince. Christian could not be more stale in his attempts at charm, and Ana stumbles through her interview with statements rather than questions. When she asks him about his business endeavors and his interests, he tells her that the people who know him will say he doesn’t have a heart. She follows this up by accusing him of not having anyone in his life who knows him well, and he promptly flips the script and starts interviewing her. She’s not that great of a journalist, we mean… just look at her. But you know he is.

Proving that he is constantly a businessman at his core, Christian insists that Ana sign paperwork before they do anything intimate together. He oddly claims that he won’t do anything without her written consent, but he pretty much throws caution to the wind on that one about 30 seconds later. When they get into the elevator, he utters this strange line before a quick makeout sesh, which is brought to an abrupt end when the doors open back up. How quickly Christian promptly throws out the paperwork ultimatum here is what really gets us.

If there is one thing that is abundantly clear about Christian from the moment we meet him, it’s that he is very formal in both business and pleasure. This is what makes his attempt at casual slang so deliciously awkward. We first see him utter this line after he drops Ana off at her apartment, right after insisting that she sign paperwork if she wants to be with him. While his first attempt is somewhat coy and charming, he says it again as he’s dropping her off after she meets his mother. The joke is a bit played out by this point, as we see him mixing extremely official with oddly casual vibes in a way that only Christian Grey can.

Throughout the first film in the trilogy, we get to know a lot about the things that Christian is willing to do, and we know that not much is off limits for him. One thing that he doesn’t do, besides romance, of course, is make love. And in practically the same breath, we find out one thing that he will definitely do when it comes to intimacy, and apparently he does it… hard? While we’re still reeling from the shock that the hopeless romantic is thinking they are going to make love, he has just this to say. This line is said so seriously, and she seems so unshaken by the absurdity of what he just said, that we really can’t help but laugh.

By the time we get to the “morning after” scene where Ana wakes up in Christian’s bed, we know that Christian is clearly interested in and protective of Ana. When they meet in the hardware store earlier, we see a hint into Christian’s lifestyle, but this line is the one where we first hear him explicitly state his somewhat aggressive feelings towards Ana. Their impending relationship is built up with a lot of innuendos and longing stares, so when Christian says this to Ana after an innocent sleepover, it definitely catches both her and the audience off-guard.

By the third installment of the film, Ana and Christian’s relationship has blossomed as they become newlyweds, but Christian is still the somewhat controlling and cold man he always was. As they sunbathe at the beach together, Ana asks Christian to put sunscreen on her back, and he’s appalled by her next suggestion. After he returns from a dip to find that she has in fact taken off her bikini top, suffice it to say, he is not thrilled. When she tries to justify her actions, Ana, the English major extraordinaire, has only this bizarre line to offer up.

In the second film in the franchise, one of the most noteworthy scenes is the one where Ana and Christian attend a masquerade ball. Christian’s family doesn’t exactly live the simple life, so it is no surprise that they are the hosts of an annual charity ball, and this is one of the first times Ana gets to mix and mingle with his elite peers. She looks stunning and mixes in seamlessly for someone who is known for being just a tad clumsy, and Christian takes note of this by offering up this bizarre compliment. She decides to take the latter of his two offers, but really, who doesn’t want to be worshipped at their feet?

As good as Christian is at business, we see in this scene that Ana can hold her own during a contract negotiation too. After Ana does her research on being a submissive and reads through Christian’s extensive contract, she meets up with him again on his turf to go through her demands. While at his office, they sit at a comically large table with some red mood lighting as they comb through the paperwork together. Even though the bizarre meeting seems as professional as it can be at first, Christian closes with this cringey line. By this point in the film, we really shouldn’t be surprised by anything that comes out of his mouth, yet for some reason, we are.

It’s rare that we get an insight into Christian’s past, as we learn he’s been through some trauma that Ana tries to dig deeper into. In what should be a meaningful moment between the two, Christian instead decides to describe himself by using a weird turn of phrase that almost incorporates the name of the franchise. This moment is the most cringey because it embodies Christian’s bizarre and formal way of talking, as his tone stays the same whether he’s trying to be funny or serious. This line is one that makes us laugh every time, even though this is undeniably supposed to be a deep moment in which we see Christian finally open up to Ana.