Top 10 Cringiest 80s Music Videos

Animotion


It’s one of the most seductive pieces in synth-pop, at least as far as the melody. Animotion singers Astrid Plane and Bill Wadhams lead the video for “Obsession” lip-syncing and dancing side-by-side. The potentially clever contrast between their stoic expressions and smooth moves would work better if they showed any rhythm. Things only really get lively in vignettes of the band having a pool party dressed as a genie, Mark Antony and Cleopatra, and more. As bizarre as anything with this spectacle is its lack of sex appeal. Nonetheless, MTV’s heavy circulation of “Obsession” was key to the single’s success. Both are now considered aesthetic staples of the ‘80s, although most remain obsessed with the video for its camp.

Elton John


Filmed on the French Riviera and choreographed by Arlene Phillips, the video for “I’m Still Standing” promised to be outstanding. Fittingly, the two-day shoot is enough of a statement about resilience. But aside from a camera falling in the water and Elton John partying with Duran Duran, it’s an excessive production. John didn’t help matters when his initially elaborate choreography was reduced to an exaggerated strut with a cane. Even if the professional dancers are jarringly more dynamic, their costumes and body paint are distracting. The video has become embraced as a not-so-subliminal declaration of John’s sexuality. It does indeed stand out for that, but also for the chaos of the production and the final product.

Starship


Credited as one of the worst songs ever, Starship’s “We Built This City” could only have a cringy video. But you can't even genuinely enjoy it on mute. It seems fitting to superimpose the band over people running through villages and huge American cities. Unfortunately, the editing effect is crude and visually cluttered. It's also hard to be roused by such visuals as the Lincoln Memorial standing up against Las Vegas excess when the singers don't even seem into it. Was it any surprise when the embarrassed-looking Grace Slick later slammed the song herself? At least the video effectively represents “We Built This City” as the most corporate anti-corporate anthem possible. And like the song, it has towering camp value.

Taco


1980s synth-pop and vaudeville collide in Taco’s hit cover of an Irving Berlin standard. They do so in all the wrong ways for the video for “Puttin’ on the Ritz.” The preserved version is awkward enough for its flimsy, satirical mix of homeless people, well-dressed musicians, and flashy video effects. What’s worse is that the original cut featured backup dancers in blackface. An homage to an unfortunate vaudeville practice was not an acceptable excuse for many TV networks at the time. They instead showed an alternate cut that removed most blackface shots, though not all. This would be the version that future generations would mock. Hey, it’s aged better than the video’s immediately offensive original cut.

Hall and Oates


Several of Hall and Oates’ hottest hits had oddly minimalist music videos. It all started with “You Make My Dreams,” which consists of idiosyncratic shots of the band unconvincingly jamming against a black backdrop. It would be pretty boring if not for their exaggeratedly upbeat pseudo-dancing. As it is, the sequence looks more like a fever dream than anything. Hall and Oates would revisit this video concept in “Private Eyes” and “I Can’t Go For That,” albeit with a little more production. Was that really so hard to handle for “You Make My Dreams?” Whether Jay Dubin wanted the music to speak for itself with his lazy direction, the overly upbeat execution just makes it more distracting.

Rick Derringer


The World Wrestling Federation faced a smackdown from critics with 1985’s “The Wrestling Album.” Rick Derringer’s “Real American” stands out for its superheroic jingoism, as well as a music video starring Hulk Hogan. Half of it is highlights of the Hulkster in the ring. The other half is a collage of nondescript patriotic images and the wrestler playing an undersized Old Glory guitar. It's such a debacle of poorly edited, empty hype that it has unsurprisingly fallen into obscurity. Of course, it's a hidden gem online, especially as Hogan’s once-endearing patriotism has grown more fanatical. At least it was something to laugh about with Derringer’s anthem, along with the rest of “The Wrestling Album.”

Kiss


Surely, the music video debut of Kiss without their face paint is memorable. But it's more accurate to say that fans were scarred by “Lick It Up.” As long as it takes for the band to reveal their faces, yours will wince at them excessively posing in lieu of their usual spectacle. That arrives with a vengeance for an explosive, frantically edited concert in city ruins. If you're wondering about the relevance of the setting, remember that post-apocalyptic B-movies with scantily-clad women were all the rage in the ‘80s. And this video is nothing if not ‘80s. The novelty of Kiss’s “Unmasked” era would deliver a commercial resurgence, and thankfully better music videos. Still, “Lick It Up” leaves a particular taste in your mouth.

Billy Squier


Billy Squier was one of few true hard rock stars left by 1984. That changed with the album “Signs of Life,” specifically the pop track “Rock Me Tonite.” It was Squier’s biggest hit until fans were disillusioned by the video of him flamboyantly dancing and gyrating around a bedroom. Two directors fought Capitol Records to budget for Squier’s original concept of preparing for a concert alongside young fans. With a deadline for the MTV premiere, Kenny Ortega was hired to speedily toss together a catastrophe. The uncool final product negatively affected ticket sales and Squier’s overall credibility as a legitimate rocker. He maintains a mostly strong legacy, but the “Rock Me Tonite” video effectively put his glory days to bed.

Steve Miller Band


The video for “Abracadabra” required some movie magic when the Steve Miller Band was on tour at the time of production. Of course, technically innovative director Peter Conn glaringly favors style over substance. The final product is a choppy montage of magicians and their lovely assistant boogying around surreal computerized effects. The cast can't hope to match the razzle-dazzle of the oversaturated visuals, color and editing. This could be forgiven for aging poorly through the years, but maybe not when the effects overwhelm the whole video. It's the gimmicks that make the “Abracadabra” video so timelessly messy, and so iconic. Whether one can appreciate his contemporary creativity, Conn forgot that confident presentation is half the magic trick.

David Bowie and Mick Jagger


Who better to revive a ‘60s pop staple for the ‘80s than David Bowie and Mick Jagger? Even better, the profits for their “Dancing in the Street” cover would go to charity. Unfortunately, that apparently didn’t leave the music video with much of a budget. It really is just the two iconically cool rock stars dancing around empty locations in London. As hard as the video was pushed at Live Aid, audiences pushed back. The hasty production was baffling in its uncreative camp and a sexual tension between alleged former lovers Bowie and Jagger. It’s a fun cover for a good cause, but it’s best-remembered for encapsulating ‘80s music videos’ painful lack of self-awareness.




What are some other classic songs that you think are best-enjoyed on the radio? Share your music video horror stories in the comments.