Top 10 Horrifically Stupid British Shows

We’re kicking it off with something that somehow managed to run for three years. And for any of you who are wondering what this show is about, then it’s exactly what it says on the tin. Hosted by Steve Jones and Goedele Liekens, a professional sexologist, it would bring in participants to talk about love-making on national television before taking this advice into the fabled box and getting it on. After the deed was done, they would re-emerge and talk about their experience. It's undeniably bizarre viewing, and even managed to make it overseas.

We have “Jersey Shore”, “Made in Chelsea” and “The Only Way Is Essex”, so it apparently made sense to bring this much-used fly-on-the-wall reality TV concept to England’s North-East. Going through the high-octane ups and downs of Newcastle’s party scene, the production that brought us Charlotte Crosby and Vicky Pattison has more fake tans and low-cut vests than a night out in Magaluf. The show is mostly people ‘necking on’ with each other and drunken shouting, which sounds like an absolutely lovely time.

This bare-all Channel 4 show that you certainly wouldn’t want to watch with your grandparents is truly one of the strangest television concepts ever. Considered to be a dating show with a twist, love-seekers are given the chance to choose a potential partner based on the appearance of their bits and pieces. People’s bodies are slowly revealed from the feet up, which is degrading enough already. But it gets worse as people are eliminated one by one, which means they have to do one of UK TVs most awkward walks of shame.

This mish-mash of formats is the programme that nobody asked for but somehow seemed to find its way onto our screens for a couple of years. Hosted by 90s Irish boy band sensation, Brian McFadden, four, shall we say, lucky, contestants would get to dine in a celebrity’s massive house and throughout the week have to guess whose abode it is based on not-so-subtle hints left lying around the place. The climax is the big reveal; if they guess right, the famous owner does the washing up, if they guess wrong, then the task is theirs.

Take all of the spectacle, starpower and international appeal of the Olympics and chuck it into a pool at Luton Sports Village, scatter a few desparate celebrities and we have our next horrifically stupid entry. Medalist Tom Daley would be tasked with teaching familiar faces how to perform specific dives as they progress through to a final and the result is cringeworthy beyond belief. Granted, the dives weren’t always awful but the show contained a lot of filler material, from training montages to a lot of high fiving and nervous interviews.

Commissioning this former Vine star for his own TV show was, by all means, a horrifically stupid idea, so much so that it received numerous compaints about its sexist content and was promptly pulled after being on air for just over one month. The controversial comedian Daniel O’Reilly was faced with a lot of backlash, including a very uncomfortable “Newsnight” appearance after much of its content was scrutinised for having a dangerous attitude towards women. The premise was that his alter-ego would offer dating advice to members of the public, interspersed with banter and insults aplenty.

Scarring audiences and, quite literally, participants for life, this programme brings in members of the public - friends, couples and family members - to design a tattoo for each other. Presented by members of “Geordie Shore” and later on, Joey Essex, this often hard-to-watch and always ridiculous production truly pushed the boundaries of how far people would go to appear on television. Friendship destroying and relationship endangering, some of the chosen tattoos have been truly horrendous and not only are they performed on national television but they are permanently engraved onto the contestants.

And just when we thought we’d get through the 21st century without a primetime show about hypnotism being created, this came along. Hosted by Phillip Schofield alongside resident illusionist, Keith Barry, contestants would be called onstage to complete a series of simple tasks whilst under hypnosis. The result was, obviously, extremely cringey and would often result in slapstick-esque antics in front of a live studio audience without much else to it. It’s hard to say whether or not these people were genuinely under a trance but we don’t want to watch it long enough to make a judgement!

Some might remember this, others might not, but for those in the latter category, the premise is simple - a group of TV personalities attempt to master the art of sheep herding. Featuring the likes of Fazer from N-Dubz, Tony Blackburn, Wendi Peters off “Coronation Street” and Lesley Joseph, the final goal was to be the best sheep herder of the series - a title that was eventually won by “Strictly’s” Brendan Coles. A stupid show with one of television’s worst catchphrases, “It’s time to release the sheep!” this rural farce was axed after just one series.

There are so many unanswered questions about this one: how did Sky think of the concept? Did it require much thinking? Why did Jamie Theakston agree to this? One thing that’s for sure, though, is that it deserves its spot as our number one horrifically stupid TV show. Twelve abandoned pooches were given a second chance by being thrown into the pilot’s seat of a plane and taught how to operate a small aircraft. Although there were some surprising results, it has to be one of the most bizarre things we have ever seen on our screens!