Top 10 Things That Could ONLY Happen in America
#10: A Stock-Trading Hamster
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In June of 2021, a hamster named Mr. Goxx became something of an internet sensation. Using high-tech versions of a traditional hamster wheel and tunnels, he would indicate which cryptocurrency stock his owner should choose and whether they should buy or sell. Most people in wealthy countries follow the stock market to some extent, but Americans are particularly obsessed with it, though it has little connection to the country’s overall economic well-being. Also, stock trading is almost impossible to do with any assurance–as evidenced by the fact that during his six months of trading, Mr. Goxx significantly outperformed the accepted human experts!
#9: A Cathedral With Darth Vader’s Head
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Cathedrals, temples, and other ornate houses of worship are found worldwide. However, the National Cathedral in Washington, DC is unique–not for its size or complexity, but because it features a sculpture of Darth Vader’s head on one tower. How did a “Star Wars” villain end up as a cathedral grotesque? Well, in the 1980s, the National Cathedral was undergoing renovations, and they sponsored a contest for kids to design new sculptures for the building. Darth Vader’s head was a runner-up and made the cut. This does, of course, beg some larger questions as to what the cathedral was looking for in its designs… Anyway, we feel pretty confident that no other country has–or would want–a religious building with a “Star Wars” character on it.
#8: A Supreme Basketball Court
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Basketball is one of the most popular sports in the United States. How popular? Well, incredible as it may seem, there is a basketball court on the fifth floor of the the Supreme Court of the United States. It’s not easy to play a game there, though. Since noise from the court is audible in the chamber below, it cannot be used when the Supreme Court is in session. Furthermore, because of security, few people can even get near the room except the justices themselves, bailiffs, various clerks, and other employees of the Supreme Court. So, if you want to play basketball without possibly angering the most powerful judges in the country, we’d suggest visiting a local community park instead.
#7: Santa Claus Running Into Power Lines
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Although Santa Claus was invented in Europe, he has become a huge cultural icon in the United States. Children across the country believe that he will bring them presents if they behave well during the year. Hopefully, none of their dreams were crushed in December of 2020, when a man in northern California–dressed as Santa Claus–flew his motor-powered parachute into a maze of power lines and got stuck. Apparently, he planned to distribute candy canes to local children; instead, he had to be rescued by the fire department, while power was turned off in the surrounding area. Fortunately, no one was injured, including the rather overconfident would-be Santa.
#6: A Palace of Corn
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The midwestern United States has long been famous for agriculture, and nowhere is that quality more obvious than at the Corn Palace of Mitchell, South Dakota. The palace is over one hundred years old, and though its foundations haven’t changed much, the surfaces both inside and out are covered with murals made of–you guessed it–corn. Every year, the Artist in Residence creates new, complex scenes out of different-colored corn kernels, which are put on display for the wonder and astonishment of tourists. There’s even a “Corn Cam” feature on the Palace website where you can get a live feed of… the front of the building. Let’s just say, South Dakota is not famous for its entertainment.
#5: The Time Tipping Paid Off
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Many visitors to the United States are disconcerted to learn that instead of paying restaurant servers a living wage, the business is set up so that they mainly survive on tips from their customers. In 1984, instead of a tip, a police officer in New York offered his waitress half of whatever he might win on his lottery ticket–which is generally considered a pretty lousy thing to do. However, in this case, the waitress got her tip after all when the policeman won $6 million! True to his word, he split the money with her, and both were set up for life. The story even provided inspiration for a rather overdramatized 1994 movie called “It Could Happen To You.”
#4: Going into Debt for the Dead
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The United States is probably the only place in the world where getting sick or hurt can bankrupt you, and medical insurance companies have the power to ruin your life. Conditions have been especially bleak during the COVID-19 epidemic, leaving many families deep in medical debt–even for care given to someone who died. Rebecca Gale, a retired factory worker in her sixties, lost her husband to COVID in 2020. After his death, she received a huge stack of medical bills; and while insurance covered most of them, apparently Gale had only minimal coverage for the “air ambulance” needed to take her spouse from one hospital to another. The result? A forty-thousand-dollar bill that she can’t afford, to add to her grief.
#3: Laws Protecting Bigfoot
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The United States has some bizarre laws still on the books. Primarily, they’re antiquated rules that no one cares about anymore or reactions to one-time odd events that no one remembers. However, these excuses don’t apply to the laws in Washington State declaring one section of forest a “Sasquatch Refuge,” and making it a felony to harm “any such creature.” Legends about huge, hairy hominids exist around the world, but in the US, they have taken a particularly strong hold–perhaps due to stories passed down by Native American tribes. There is no compelling evidence for the existence of these creatures, however. Some people might hesitate to make laws about an animal of doubtful authenticity, but not in the US!
#2: An Inflatable Rat With Free Speech Rights
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Okay, there’s a lot to unpack in that title. Who is this giant rat, and why does he require free speech rights? Well, the rat’s name is Scabby, and he’s a symbol for workers’ unions. If word reaches the union that workers are being treated unfairly somewhere, Scabby may pay the company a visit. As you can imagine, having a giant, evil-looking, inflatable rat by the front door of your business is not particularly desirable. Some employers suggested that Scabby should not be allowed near their buildings because he scared away customers. However, the court ruled that the union rat could go wherever he wanted, under the rights protected in the US Constitution’s First Amendment.
#1: The Tiger King
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In most countries, and most US states, it’s illegal to privately own large, predatory wild animals. Unfortunately, not every state has bothered to create those laws, which is how Oklahoma ended up with “The Tiger King.” You may have heard of this fellow, also known as Joe Exotic, who was recently featured in a true crime documentary on Netflix. The “king” kept and bred a large number of tigers on his property, illegally sold tiger cubs, and killed adult tigers outright, which got him cited several times by the Department of Agriculture. What finally put Exotic in prison wasn’t his treatment of tigers, though–it was hiring someone to kill a woman who criticized his behavior. Tigers and hitmen and horror, oh my!
