Top 10 Worst Things Stan Smith Has Done on American Dad

There’s no denying that Francine’s a beautiful woman, and Stan’s a very lucky man to have married her. Before they renew their vows, however, Stan reveals to Francine that her looks are all that matter to him. Angered by this, Francine forgoes her daily beauty regime, showing how shallow Stan can be. Not one to be deterred, Stan does what he believe is righteous… and blinds himself. He wants his marriage to work so bad, but openly admits Francine is so disgusting he had no choice but to blind himself. Talk about not being able to see beauty on the inside.

Stan will do anything for his country, and after the USA Olympic skiing team was threatened by Klaus' talent, the CIA opted to swap the German athlete’s brain with that of a fish. Stan then took the now-aquatic German into his home. Now a harmless goldfish may not seem too terrible at first, but Stan has done nothing but torture Klaus in his own home - ignoring him, silencing him, and even refusing to give Klaus his body back after the whole ordeal. Not like it would matter too much anyway, since thanks to Stan’s incompetence, Klaus’s body is useless now.

We all have the neighbors that gossip behind our backs, make jokes and point out our flaws… but for Stan he just doesn’t understand how someone may or may not always like him. After spying on his neighbors, he finds nothing he does will make them love him, so he does what any regular CIA agent with extreme insecurities would do… evict everyone in the neighbourhood. Of course, his own family is no exception, and he’s more than willing to do the same to them. We’d hate to see what he would do if they were mean right to his face...

Steve is not exactly the athletic type, or courageous, or outgoing, or popular . . . the list goes on. So what’s the best method to help build up your nerd son? Why becoming their bully, of course! That’s right, Steve’s own father goes out of his way to be Steve’s ultimate bully in hopes of turning him into a man. Torturing him in and out of school, Stan becomes even less of the father figure he was, turning into nothing more than a nightmare for Steve. It’s only through the help of another thug that Stan is taken down a peg; and while we don’t condone bullying, we think Stan deserves this.

Stan’s relationship with his family has always been questionable to say the least, but his devotion truly comes into question during what looks to be their final moments. After a roast gone wrong sends their vengeful alien companion Roger out for blood, the Smiths escape to a space station -only to be chased down and hunted in a sci fi thriller style. When Francine and Hayley plead for Stan to help, he turns tail and runs to the nearest escape pod. He displays zero empathy for what he believes to be their demise, concerned only with his own safety.

Stan’s done plenty of damage to his own children, but to kill Steve’s raised clone was taking it a bit far. After Steve used the DNA of a girl to create clones, he raised her from a child into a young woman; and while it was the intent to have intercourse with her, he began to see her in a fatherly light. Stan however sees the cloned girls as nothing more than reasons to get him fired by the CIA, and elects to kill the two. While the clones are revealed to have only lasted a brief time, it’s pretty sadistic to see Stan kill two young girls who the two boys became attached to.

Stan doesn’t really understand the plight of illegal immigrants, or labor laws ...or common decency. When his dream of holiday-themed bears hitting the store shelves seems out of reach, out comes a ray of hope in the form of Hayley’s boyfriend: an illegal immigrant who can sew up bears in record time. Not thinking much of them, Stan employs the boy and his family to make up the bears he needs, with little-to-no time for themselves, and wages that would borderline slavery. To make matters worse, Stan sees this as him giving these people a better chance at life, and not as the sweatshop it truly is.

Stan’s a racist, plain and simple, and it’s not exactly well-hidden. When Francine invites the new Iranian neighbors, his ignorance comes out in full blast, frisking them and even refusing to listen to them. Not satisfied until he finds proof, he begins to spy on them; and when that doesn’t work, he locks them up in a self-made detention center in his backyard. Of course, you might wonder how all his neighbors would put up with his behavior, until he locks them in there too. Stubborn and ignorant to the very end, this is one episode where Stan doesn’t even learn his lesson.

Stan is a right-wing extremist nut; and while he has opened up a teensy bit more each season, his mind remains shut tight on many aspects of modernity — including a gay couple having children. When Francine carries Greg and Terry’s child, Stan feigns concern, only to kidnap the baby immediately after she is born. Still in complete denial that two people of the same sex can raise a child properly, he even kidnaps another same-sex couple’s children to take them to an orphanage, where MAYBE someday they’ll be adopted by a straight couple. How this man even raised his own children is… oh wait, yeah he did a terrible job with that too.


Before we unveil the worst of Stan, here are a few dishonorable mentions.



He Captures his Mom’s Boyfriends

“Oedipal Panties”




He Gave Steve a Gun for Christmas

“For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls”




He Faked his Family Vacations

“The Vacation Goo”

Francine’s probably put up with the worst from Stan, from being shot in the arm, to repressing any idea she presented that might change their lifestyle; how she stays married to him after 20+ years is a mystery. Forgetting their anniversary yet again, Stan decides he would rather commit her to a psychiatric hospital and only then come up with an idea for a present than hear her nag at him again. This would already be horrible enough, if it weren’t for the fact that he forgets he left her in there, and then gives her a bucket of fried chicken as a “gift”. We gotta agree with Francine on this one.