iCan’t Believe It

Hi! Have you heard of the iPhone? It’s a real game-changer: a portable phone with Interne—-OH GOD SHUT UP WE KNOW WHAT THE IPHONE IS IT’S REVOLUTIONIZED SOCIETY FOR OVER  A DECADE JUST TELL US WHAT THE NEW ONES THEY JUST RELEASED ARE TELL US TELL US RIGHT NOW PLEASE

Okay, okay.  We get it. Here you go! And we’re not talking about the new iPhone 8 or even the iPhone 8 Plus or whatever.

X, baby. X.

HOLY CRAP IT’S HERE

The Verge has all the deets, Here’s more specs than a British eyewear store:

The long-awaited and extensively leaked special edition iPhone is finally upon us, and it’s called the iPhone X. This new super flagship phone from Apple features an edge-to-edge screen with a notch at the top to accommodate the front-facing camera and new Face ID sensors.

The iPhone X has glass on both the front and the back, and it has “surgical-grade” stainless steel around the sides. It comes in two colors: space gray and silver. It also has the highest pixel density (458ppi) display ever in an iPhone, with Apple calling it a Super Retina display. It measures 5.8 inches in diagonal size and has a resolution of 2436 x 1125. It’s the first OLED display in an iPhone, which Phil Schiller explains bluntly: it’s “the first OLED display great enough to be in an iPhone.” Like the iPhone 8, the iPhone X also has True Tone display technology.

FACE IT

Oh, there’s more.

Apple has omitted the home button for the first time, replacing it with an upward swipe from the bottom of the phone. Along with the home button, which used to house the Touch ID fingerprint sensor, Apple is also moving away from fingerprint authentication. The new method is called Face ID and does what the name suggests: it unlocks the phone just by having you look at it. It’s based on the tech in the notch at the top of the phone: it combines an IR system with the front camera and a so-called flood illuminator that beams a light at your face to help it be recognized even in the dark. Apple even went to the extra step of building a dedicated neural engine — based on a dual-core custom chip design — to process face recognition in real time.

Photos and video playback on this new iPhone will both wrap around the notch at the top of the device, which is liable to grow irritating over time. Multitasking will also be something people will need time to adapt to: to open the iOS Control Center, for instance, you’ll have to swipe down from the top right corner. The A11 processor that was introduced with the iPhone 8 earlier in the event is, of course, present inside the iPhone X. It has two performance cores, four high-efficiency cores, and the first Apple-designed GPU. Apple has now announced a wireless charging pad to unify the wireless charging of all its mobile devices and calls the overall system AirPower.

X Marks The Spot

So, like, are you gonna buy one? It’s gonna cost you around a cool thousand or more. At least.

And it won’t make you breakfast. I mean, I guess you could order breakfast on it.

But we knew you’d be interested. Right?