"What exactly will you be cutting and how much of it and can I watch you do it while eating Pork Cracklins?"
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Top Ten Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes
#2
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake. "
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#3
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"On my death bed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to Hell one last time."
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#4
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
" I don't want this parks department to build any parks, because I don't believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money. "
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#5
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"Crying is only okay in two places: funerals and the Grand Canyon."
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#6
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"April was supposed to be the moat that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson castle. Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face."
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#7
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man how to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing isn't that hard."
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#8
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"The whole point of this country is if you wanna eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so! To me, that's beautiful."
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#9
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MikeMJPMUNCH2
"Listen well, for I will not be saying this ever again: I have a compromise."
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#10
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
"I am an official member of a task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi."