Top 10 Worst Escort Missions
VOICE OVER: Dan Paradis
Script written by Nathan Sharp
Escort Missions are the worst. Does Dead Rising have the worst Escort Missions? Or does that honour go to Emma from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty or Natalya
from GoldenEye 007. Join us as we countdown this list of extremely frustrating missions to escort an NPC that will have you rage quitting in no time. On the way we'll see Ashley from Resident Evil 4, a Little Sister from BioShock, The Alchemist from Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage and the AT-PTs from Star Wars: Rogue Squadron.
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For this list, we're looking at what we consider to be the most painful and rage-inducing escort missions in video games. We'll be looking at any specific mission or section of a campaign which involves escorting an NPC.
Special Thanks to our users "Pedro Henrique Pestana Barradas" "Bryant Alcaraz" "Francis FNT" "Treshun Thomas" & "Paul Kinter" for suggesting this topic with our interactive suggestion tool at WatchMojo.comsuggest
Script written by Nathan Sharp
Top 10 Worst Video Game Escort Missions
Escort mission. Those two words have the ability to strike fear in the heart of many a gamer. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we're counting down our picks for the top ten video game escort missions.
For this list, we’re looking at what we consider to be the most painful and rage-inducing escort missions in video games. We'll be looking at any specific mission or section of a campaign which involves escorting an NPC.
“Resident Evil 4” (2005)
LEON! Remember that? There's no denying that “Resident Evil 4” is a masterpiece of a game which influenced countless others and spurred on a host of copycats. It was both fun and suspenseful. And then you get to the Ashley sections. While you do have the ability to hide her away in a dumpster which is why she isn’t higher, she is extremely annoying whenever she's by your side. Her whiny voice is grating, and she insists on complaining about everything. Don't even get us started on her inability to defend herself. “Yes Ashley, I hear you screaming! Unfortunately I'm surrounded by things that want to eat my face right now, so you'll have to give me a second!”
#9: Little Sister
Here we have another fantastic game marred by an infuriating escort section. In this part, you're equipped in a Big Daddy suit and must protect a Little Sister as she harvests ADAM from corpses littered around Rapture. At least you have the suit, because this part would be nearly impossible without it. The Little Sister is extremely weak, and she insists on simply sitting there collecting ADAM as you fend off waves of enemies that want to kill her. The repeated lines of “Come on, Mr. B!” and “An angel!” only fan the fire of your irritation, making for one hair-ripping experience. We don't know how the real Big Daddies put up with it.
“Star Wars: Rogue Squadron” (1998)
In the mission “Escape from Fest,” the Rogue Squadron is tasked with escorting and defending captured AT-PTs, or All Terrain Personal Transports, from Imperial soldiers. And holy hell was it hard. Not only are the AT-PTs poorly armored and slower than molasses, but you have to defend them from a wave of formidable enemies, including Imperial AT-ATs and tank droids, which were the bane of every player’s existence. Just when you think it's over, TIE bombers make one last effort to stop you, forcing you to defend the AT-PTs from one final attack. It's nothing but a constant onslaught from vicious and persistent enemies, and it's annoying.
#7: The Great Fox
“Star Fox Zero” (2016)
With a name like The Great Fox, you'd think the battleship would be able to defend itself a little better. But no, as usual, you have to play babysitter. In the missions “Asteroid Field” and “Great Fox,” you're tasked with escorting the ship through an asteroid field, which is every bit as daunting as it sounds. You are forced to shoot asteroids before they collide with the ship, and to make matters worse, drones will attach themselves to the Great Fox, forcing you to deal with them and oncoming asteroids at the same time. There's nothing more frustrating than chaotic double tasking in a video game, and this mission is determined to make your experience as irritating as possible.
#6: Hover Limousine
“MechWarrior 2: 31st Century Combat” (1995)
“Velvet Hammer” are two words sure to make any “MechWarrior” fan shiver in horror and disgust. This mission sees you escorting a limousine as it makes its way to the opera, because that should be priority one in the time of war. There are numerous mechs that you have to dispatch who are all trying to blow up the limo, which can be accomplished with only one direct hit, making your job that much more difficult. It can also explode simply by bumping into things, adding to the easily-failed and frustrating mission. It is also possible to accidentally destroy the limo yourself, effectively ending the mission in a fury of rage.
#5: The Alchemist
“Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage!” (1999)
Why are we exposing children to such severe and brutal forms of torture? In this harrowing mission, Spyro is forced to escort The Alchemist to Hunter, as he has a potion to cure Hunter of his stone-encased feet. Along the way, you're forced to defend him from Earthshapers. Like many NPCs on this list, The Alchemist has an extremely small threshold for damage, and often dies after only one hit. But what makes this mission and the character so infuriating is the AI. He will often run straight into enemies like he has a death wish and takes the longest, most non-linear route possible to reach his destination. A stupid, damage-prone NPC is a gamer’s worst nightmare.
#4: Every Single One
“Dead Rising” (2006)
Speaking of accident prone, stupid NPCs, “Dead Rising” is the holy grail of nightmare escort missions. Throughout the game, Frank comes across various survivors throughout the mall and must escort them back to the safe room. It sounds easy enough, except for the fact that these are the dumbest people on Earth. They're absolutely useless with weapons, often failing to kill anything or hitting you instead of a zombie. They also have a penchant for walking straight into a massive crowd of zombies. After a while, you begin to just let them die and watch in psychopathic glee as a zombie tears a survivor’s intestines out of its stomach.
In a twist on the old escort mission trope, you actually become the powerless one throughout this terrible game. You play as a helpless woman, while your accomplice, an autistic child named Amy, can destroy zombies with her superpowers. Unfortunately, this twist doesn't make things better. If anything, it's worse. Your helpless nature only serves to make things infuriating, as you have to constantly rely on Amy to save your skin. You also can't stray too far from her, else you become a zombie for some contrived reason, forcing you to match her snail’s pace throughout the game, which can quickly get on your nerves. While it's an intriguing concept, the execution is more than spotty.
“Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty” (2001)
We're convinced that Hideo Kojima is nothing but a massive troll. For this section, Kojima decided to combine two of the worst mission types into one terrible whole. In this underwater escort mission (yes, you heard that right), you have to carry along Emma Emmerich, and by carry, we mean that literally, as she's afraid of water. Of course. She also cries every time she sees a bug and wails every time she is spotted, which gets really annoying really fast. The developers must have taken pity on us, as there is an option to knock her lights out and simply drag her the whole way to the destination. It's quieter, but still frustrating.
Before we take a look at our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
“Earthworm Jim” (1994)
“Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast” (2002)
All of Them
“Dead Island” (2011)
“GoldenEye 007” (1997)
If there is one glaring flaw in this otherwise perfect game, it's Natalya. Damn you, Natalya. Damn you and your block-y hands. On multiple occasions Bond is forced to protect Natalya as she hacks into …whatever McGuffin is currently nearby. Unfortunately, she’s so painfully slow that your hair has turned gray by the time she finishes. Not only that, but she is incredibly stupid, often walking directly into your line of fire as you try to defend her from the myriad of enemies converging on your position. We can't count how many times we were forced to start this one over because Natalya's big head got in the way of a bullet.
Do you agree with our list? What harrowing escort mission did we leave out? For more agreeable top tens published every day, be sure to subscribe to Watchmojo.com.