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Top 10 Times Archer Crossed the Line

VO: Adrian Sousa WRITTEN BY: Ty Richardson
These jokes go WAY beyond the Danger Zone. Welcome to, and today, we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Times Archer Crossed the Line. For this list, we’re looking at all the times Archer and the gang pushed just a little (or a lot) too hard.

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These jokes go WAY beyond the Danger Zone. Welcome to, and today, we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Times Archer Crossed the Line.

For this list, we’re looking at all the times Archer and the gang pushed just a little (or a lot) too hard.

#10: Archer’s Erection
“Mole Hunt”

There’s no question that Archer is an even bigger horndog than James Bond. Airboats, Veronica Deane…is there anything that doesn’t get him turned on? We know! Maybe something about his mother? Nope, on the contrary, we were proven wrong in the very first episode of the show. When Malory is held hostage by the mole, Archer is forced to imagine the death of his own mother. Archer, my dude…we understand Malory can be a pain in the butt, but why does that make your—you know what, the Lana attitude is more appropriate here: “Don’t even want to know.”

#9: Fister Roboto
“Killing Utne”

Krieger has made an assortment of inventions that range from slightly clever to bats*** insane: his virtual anime girlfriend, pills that trigger homoerotic urges, and “Krieger Kleanse,” to name just a few. So, when you’re a mad scientist like him, meeting a United Nations representative like Torvald Utne, maybe it’s best to keep such work a secret. Of course, this is Krieger we’re talking about; and when Malory tries to talk nicely about him, Pam brings up the sex robot he’s working on. “Fister Roboto”, huh? Hmm…disgusting AND mildly racist. Now that’s “weird science”.

#8: Cheryl’s Strangulation Fetish
Various Episodes

Now, we understand everyone has their kinks. We aren’t trying to fetish-shame anyone here. Cheryl, on the other hand, is a different story. Longtime fans are aware of her choking fetish, but in this manner, it is borderline attempted murder. She even allows Krieger (yeah, we’re not done with him yet) to test his “Chokerbot” on her! Cheryl gets turned on from being strangled so frequently that it very quickly becomes creepy . . . especially when she asks to be choked harder. One of these days, we might get an episode where this accidentally kills her. That would choke us up.

#7: Abusing Cyril
Various Episodes
Bullying in real life is never acceptable, but in the show we see why most of the cast is mean towards Cyril; he’s dorky, he’s wimpy, and he can get awfully whiny. He’s also done some idiotic stuff. (Seriously, what accountant gets tricked into uploading a computer virus?) However, Cyril is picked on a little too much. Any time he’s given an opportunity, whether it is being trained as a field agent or running a detective agency, Archer and company are there to quickly degrade him. And, as we’ll see in an upcoming entry, the bullying gets SIGNIFICANTLY worse as the show continues.

#6: Archer Gets His Name Tattooed on a Baby
“Stage Two”

This is perhaps Archer’s most reckless decision yet. In an effort to bond with wee baby Seamus, Archer takes him to a tattoo parlor. Not only does Archer get a tattoo of the baby’s name, but he also gets Seamus inked with his name. Of course, this leaves mother Trinette McGoon enraged. Can we really blame her? Hell to the no. Even just on the health tip, in most countries, minors are not allowed to get tattoos, because there are many health concerns, from possible infections to permanent skin damage. So, Archer should probably be arrested.

#5: Malory’s Parenting
Various Episodes

Speaking of bad parenting, Malory has had a lengthy history of neglectful behavior towards her son. Where do we even begin? Well, there was the time she took all of his Halloween candy in a game of blackjack. Then there was the time where she left Archer at a police station on Christmas Eve because she never told him her new address. Even when he’s under mind control, Malory will shoot her own son . . not once, not twice, but SIX times! How has Archer not been sent to a psychiatric institution yet?

#4: Pam & Ray Assault Cyril
“Blood Test”

Remember when we said the bullying gets worse for Cyril? Well, it can’t get worse than this. After Archer, Woodhouse, and Malory inject Cyril with heroin and extract his blood, they leave him passed out in a bathroom, only for Pam to find him moments later and . . . well, at least Lana caught her in the act. But no no no, don’t leave the door . . . dammit, Lana! Of course, as soon as she’s gone, Ray sneaks in. Look, writers, we understand that Cyril is your favorite punching bag, but . . . rape and sexual assault? Really?

#3: Kreiger Is a Clone of Hitler?
Various Episodes

If we had a nickel for every time we asked ourselves about Krieger’s origins, we’d be filthy rich. Throughout the show, it has been heavily implied that Krieger may be a clone of the infamous Adolf Hitler. Contrary to this belief, Krieger has stated that if he were a clone, he’d look more like Hitler. We’re not saying his argument is completely false, but the obsession with experimenting on the human body doesn’t help his case. Well, as the saying goes, “crazy is as crazy does”… or, in this case, would it be “did”?

#2: The Italian Prime Minister’s Murder
“Lo Scandalo”

In the Season Three episode “Lo Scandalo”, Malory murders the Italian Prime Minister during a steamy date night. She then calls up Archer and Lana, to convince them that a hit squad had broken into her apartment, killing the Prime Minister. Eventually, Cyril, Cheryl, Pam, and Krieger are dragged in to help dispose the body. As it turns out, Malory murdered the Prime Minister in an act of revenge for Italy’s role in World War 2. Yeah, that grudge makes sense, right?

#1: Abusing Woodhouse
Various Episodes

You know, after having a neglectful parent like Malory, you would think Archer would be a little grateful to have someone care about him. Alas, poor old Woodhouse. No matter what this guy does, Archer will repeatedly abuse him with insults, forcing him to do complicated punishments, or simply throwing his clothes off the balcony. What’s worse is that Malory says nothing to defend Woodhouse. Heck, Woodhouse treated him like a son! Couldn’t he get just a little respect? Well, too late now, we suppose. Rest in peace, actor George Coe.

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