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Top 10 Movies That Were Doomed To Fail

VO: Phoebe de Jeu WRITTEN BY: Nick Spake
We like to give every film a fair shot, but sometimes they’re simply DOA. Join http://www.WatchMojo as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Movies That Were Doomed To Fail. For this list, we’re taking a look at flicks that faced an uphill battle from the get-go - either due to the premise, talent involved, or early backlash - and ultimately failed to deliver. Watch the video at WatchMojo.com
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Top 10 Movies That Were Doomed To Fail


We like to give every film a fair shot, but sometimes they’re simply DOA. Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the Top 10 Movies That Were Doomed To Fail.

For this list, we’re taking a look at flicks that faced an uphill battle from the get-go - either due to the premise, talent involved, or early backlash - and ultimately failed to deliver.

#10: “The Hottie & The Nottie” (2008)


A romantic comedy deprived of any real romance or comedy, this box office dud wasn’t so much a star vehicle for Hilton as it was a massive ego trip. The whole film revolves around one joke: Hilton’s Cristabel is basically the most desirable woman on the planet and her best friend June is cartoonishly unattractive. The movie isn’t just superficial, but also highly hypocritical, forcing in a message about inner beauty that’s completely misguided. You can’t always judge a book by its cover, but in the case of “The Hottie and the Nottie,” the title tells us everything we need to know.

#9: “Battleship” (2012)


This titanic shipwreck is based on a board game with no established story, characters, or lore, but that’s not what doomed the project. Casting pop star Rihanna as a naval officer didn’t doom the film either, although that didn’t exactly help. Rather, this ship went down because it has no idea what it wants to be. The film starts off like a romantic comedy about a guy, a girl, and a chicken burrito. Then all of a sudden, it becomes a sci-fi action flick about an alien invasion. What do aliens and chicken burritos have to do with the original game? By failing to capture the spirit of its source material, the filmmakers essentially sunk their own ship.

#8: “From Justin to Kelly” (2003)


Remember when “American Idol” was the most-watched show on television? This singing completion series exploded into a cultural phenomenon, and at the height of its popularity, inspired a feature film starring Season One winner Kelly Clarkson and runner-up Justin Guarini. Even with an insanely popular series as its launch pad, “From Justin to Kelly” failed to attract even the most diehard viewers, grossing less than $5 million on a $12 million budget. This musical romance was such a corny, dated, and obvious cashgrab that it made the worst “American Idol” auditions look operatic by comparison. Clarkson actually begged to be released from the project before it started shooting. It’s never a good sign when the star senses a train wreck from a mile away.

#7: “Speed 2: Cruise Control” (1997)


The original “Speed” revolved around a bus that couldn’t drop under 50 miles per hour or else it would explode. This sequel basically contradicts everything its predecessor stood for with its title alone. Rather than kicking things up a notch, “Cruise Control” restricts itself to a set speed, placing the characters on a slow-moving boat in the middle of an ocean rather than a runaway bus on the busy streets of LA. If you were counting on the great chemistry between Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock to salvage the lackluster setup, you’re in for even more disappointment. Although Bullock is back, Reeves’ Jack Traven is nowhere to be found and Jason Patric is far from an ideal substitute. They seriously spent $110 million on this?

#6: “Son of the Mask” (2005)


Nathan Ryan Runk won a Nintendo Power contest to appear in “The Mask II” when it was initially announced in the ‘90s. Nathan is lucky that he never ended up in this abysmal sequel, instead receiving $5,000 and some SNES games. “Son of the Mask” should’ve remained shelved after Jim Carrey turned it down. Instead, the studio decided to push forward nearly a decade after the fact, relying on Jamie Kennedy to fill Carrey’s shoes. What really deprived this sequel of any hope, however, was the decision to center the plot around a nightmare-inducing CGI baby. Seriously, “Son of the Mask” could’ve been a horror picture had they substituted the cartoony music with the “Rosemary’s Baby” soundtrack.

#5: “Jack and Jill” (2011)


Adam Sandler movies don’t exactly have a reputation for being critically acclaimed, but to call this 2011 comedy lowbrow would be an understatement. The plot is so lazy that it’s hard to believe any studio – even Happy Madison Productions – would greenlight it. Sandler plays Jack, an advertising executive. Sandler also stars as Jill, his identical twin sister with a voice so obnoxious that you’ll pray for Little Nicky’s second coming. As if the premise alone wasn’t enough to guarantee a dumpster fire, the film also has Oscar-winner Al Pacino rapping in a commercial for Dunkin' Donuts, which oddly enough is probably the comedic highlight. Sweeping the Razzies in every category, “Jack and Jill” forever lowered the bar for Worst Picture winners.

#4: “Super Mario Bros.” (1993)


Nowadays, movies based on video games are known for being notoriously awful. Since there was no standard in 1993, however, gamers lost their minds when a live-action “Super Mario Bros.” movie was announced. Alas, the hype quickly died down when Nintendo fans realized the film had next to nothing in common with the game. Granted, making a movie about two Italian brothers who rescue a princess from a fire-breathing reptile isn’t the easiest task. It feels like the filmmakers went out of their way to enrage the fanbase, though, replacing the Mushroom Kingdom with a city ripped off from “Blade Runner” and giving King Koopa a humanoid appearance. Even actor Bob Hoskins smelt a bob-omb, describing the film as the worst thing he ever did.

#3: “The Last Airbender” (2010)


There were several reasons why a live-action “Last Airbender” movie was never going to work. First, you can’t cram a season’s worth of quality television into a 103-minute movie and expect comparable results. Second, the show was largely inspired by Eastern culture, but there are hardly any actors of Asian descent present here. Third, writer/director M. Night Shyamalan was the worst possible candidate to bring this material to life. Not only was he fresh off of multiple misfires, but flashy special effects have never been his strong suit. To give him the reins of an epic fantasy is beyond mindboggling. What’s even more mindboggling though, is how such a phenomenal show inspired a movie with a 5% Rotten Tomatoes score.

#2: “The Emoji Movie” (2017)


It shouldn’t come as a surprise that audiences everywhere weren’t immediately enticed by a movie where Patrick Stewart plays a sentient piece of poop. Many people went into “The Emoji Movie” fully prepared to chuck tomatoes at the screen. Their preconceived notions weren’t wrong, as the final product felt like… well… a product! The film made little effort to hide the fact that it’s a corporate sellout cashing in a brand name. The whole movie is like a commercial within a commercial, shamelessly plugging everything from Twitter, to “Just Dance,” to smartphones. Did we mention that this was a Sony production? We’re not saying that a movie about Emojis could never work, but some originality, charm, and passion are required.

Before we get to our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions:

“Basic Instinct 2” (2006)

“Kazaam” (1996)

“Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd” (2003)

“Bratz” (2007)

“Dragon Ball: Evolution” (2009)

#1: “Psycho” (1998)

If you’re going to remake a cinematic classic, you need to offer a fresh perspective. Gus Van Sant took the opposite approach when he remade Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho,” however, recycling much of the original film’s dialog, camera angles, and music. The only major difference is that the movie is in color rather than black and white. Oh, and Vince Vaughn is supposed to be Norman Bates! Perhaps the greatest strike against the film is that its predecessor largely relied on its famous twists and turns. Going into this shot-for-shot remake, though, we already know Marion Crane’s fate and the secrets of the Bates Motel. Having this knowledge sucks any suspense out of the experience, amounting to a movie that was always doomed to fail.
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