Top 10 Drunk Peter Griffin Moments
#10: Peter Has One Too Many on Thanksgiving “Thanksgiving”
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Has your dad ever ruined the holidays after having one too many? If you're Chris Griffin, the answer is a hilarious yes. When a friend’s son mysteriously returns from Iraq on Turkey Day, Peter shows he supports the troops, sort of, with some of the show’s best anti-war humor. After that, the very inebriated big guy proceeds to epically ruin a friendly game of touch football with more cringy but true humor. He not only pegs Chris with a football multiple times while bystanders awkwardly watch, but teases the poor kid to boot. The bad dad defends his behavior with a sardonic cutaway appealing to the worst kind of tradition: an unbroken chain of intergenerational violence stretching back to when hats had belts.
#9: Peter Becomes the Brewery's Mascot “Pawtucket Pete”
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When this sitcom dad first saw inside Pawtucket Brewery, it was a world of pure inebriation. Things continued that way while he worked for the beer maker, that is, until his boss, Angela — voiced by the late great Carrie Fisher — died. His new dual bosses seem to have it in for Peter before hearing him drinking on the job and john. Instead of getting canned, Peter becomes the brewery’s mascot. Seeing him shoot a commercial on a less-than-luxurious New England beach and suffer through other absurd travails while guzzling his favorite beer is pure comedy gold. Alas, the fun and carbs come to an end when Peter learns it’s a dog eat dog world in the mascot game.
#8: Peter’s First Day “Jungle Love”
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When the Griffin family’s breadwinner needs a job, he takes the old adage of doing what you love a little too seriously. After just one visit to the unemployment office, Peter scores the perfect gig: working for his favorite brewery. Even better, his new employer gives workers free beer. Like a fat fox in a hen house, our loveable lush manages to screw up his new career before even getting his ID badge. The speed at which the big guy gets hammered and nude is comically absurd, but it’s the realness of his drunken outburst that causes us to sneeze schnapps all over the TV. Originally aired in 2005, this bit still stands up, which is more than we can say for drunk Ol’ Pete.
#7: Peter's Piano Performance “Wasted Talent”
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This time Petey isn't solely to blame for his boozed-up shenanigans. Instead, his wife’s desire to upstage her rival at a piano competition ironically leads Lois to become the big guy’s biggest enabler. It turns out he’s a regular Amadeus when under the influence. Well, maybe that’s slightly overselling it, as his repertoire consists solely of television theme songs. Nonetheless, his staccato performances are pretty impressive, so Lois feeds him drinks to maintain his buzzed flow state. By showtime, Peter is so inebriated he can't find the piano. Nonetheless, after a loud belch and little assist, he plays one heck of a lick. Many simple yet effective sight gags help set this scene apart, as does Lois’s role reversal.
#6: Peter & His Friends Give Meg a Ride “Hell Comes to Quahog”
The guys’ drinking session is cut short when Lois asks the P-man to pick up his daughter from the skating rink. This annoys the middle-aged men, who seem particularly sloshed and rambunctious. When Griffin and the gang finally arrive, they are an hour late and proceed to ignore Meg while causing more trouble than a pack of drunk teens. After that, the scene culminates in a roller disco dance number for the ages. The fat man may not win dad of the year, and probably should have his license revoked, but he sure can boogie. This sequence is comedically right because it’s so wrong on every other level. Packed with killer cutaways, crude jokes, and some fly animated choreography, this bender is a definite winner.
#5: Peter & Joe Trade Cars “Quagmire’s Quagmire”
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Seeing Quahog’s biggest wino trade quips and vehicles with his buddies may not be squad goals, but it sure does split our sides. After all, real friends tell you when you’re being a douche. Case and point, Quagmire showing up inside a bar with sunglasses on. Peter and his cop buddy Joe have none of it in a genuine yet jocular moment. After hilariously deflecting Quagmire’s written call for help, the big guy and Joe trade keys, completely failing to grasp the concept of a designated driver. Simoustinously risque and dumb, part of the wry charm is thinking of how much it probably infuriates the Mothers Against Drunk Driving crowd. Watching Mr. Griffin play cop is a cathartic gag that never gets old.
#4: Peter Damages Company Property “Three Directors”
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We’ve seen Papa Griffin buzzed and trashed, but never quite so ripped. In an episode featuring three shorts inspired by popular directors, the best is saved for last. The final chapter combines the excitement and incoherence of a Michael Bay film with the drunken antics of our favorite family man. While he may have traded his dad bod for a chiseled physique, his love of alcohol and trouble are strong as ever. The short opens with our muscled main character tossing kegs onto a truck until he punches one open and chugs it. This leads to his now sexy boss firing him, though not before they french. It makes about as much sense as a “Transformers” sequel, but it sure does make us laugh too.
#3: Peter Bonds With Meg “Crimes and Meg’s Demeanor”
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Of all this surly sire’s questionable parenting moments, his talk to Meg about the dangers of alcohol is one of the most memorable. It may sound like a buzzkill, but Peter’s constant stream of nonsequiturs and kooky cutaways keep things lighter than a diet White Claw. Besides, the fatherly talking-to near-instantly devolves into an intergenerational drinking contest. They parody “Jaws” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark” while Eddie Murphy’s song “Party All the Time” proves it’s still an insidious earworm. Beerbongs, instant fails in Vegas, and a minor act of piracy add to the whimsical fun of this booze-fueled romp. Most of all, we love the vicarious thrill of watching this Griffin family duo break all the rules.
#2: Mr. Booze Song “Friends of Peter G.”
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Many “Family Guy” episodes feature the titular character’s love of the sauce, but none do it with quite as much musical flair as this one. It opens on Peter and his dog Brian drinking while obnoxiously talking in a movie theater, leading to them being forced to attend AA. Rather than learning, the big man corrupts the group, turning it into a secret speakeasy. Naturally, the noise attracts cops. Ever resourceful, the drinkers disguise their scheme with one of the show’s catchiest musical numbers, parodying “Robin and the 7 Hoods.” When Peter dies while driving home drunk, Death gives him one more chance after showing him the dangers of alcoholism and sobriety. Still, nothing tops the humor and unforgeability of the toe-tapping “Mr. Booze.” Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Joe's Hair Gets Caught on Fire “Save the Clam” Peter Gets His License Picture Taken “FOX-y Lady” Peter at a Baseball Game “Trans-Fat” Rich Peter Buys a Round “Lottery Fever”
#1: Peter Competes in a Drinking Contest with His Real Father “Peter’s Two Dads”
“Family Guy” is at its best when it’s the worst, and this episode is exhibit number one. After accidentally committing patricide, Peter discovers his real dad lives in Ireland. Unlike his judgmental teetotalling stepparent, the big guy’s biological father turns out to be the town drunk. While our rotund protagonist normally barrels over anything, Mickey McFinnigan proves nearly his equal in bad parenting and drinking. Seeing Peter finally meet his match is satisfying, but it also means the humor flows from the plot and characters rather than cutaways. When the two finally face-off, the jokes really feel earned. Packed with offensive stereotypes and culminating with a musical bar fight, it’s easy to see why this scene is peak Peter.
