Top 10 Movies That Look Like Kids Movies (But AREN'T)
#10: “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (1971)
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Roald Dahl’s imaginative, darkly humorous books have been hailed as classic children’s literature for decades. However, reading is not the same as seeing, and scenes that come across as merely odd in a book can have a much scarier impact when they are brought to life. One example is when normal-looking women transform into monsters in “The Witches.” Another is the trip down the Chocolate River in “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” where the boat enters a dark tunnel to an unknown destination and Willy Wonka begins chanting rhymes about “danger growing” and “the Grisly Reaper mowing.” Though this scene was taken directly from the book, it’s still rather jarring in a G-rated film!
#9: “The Dark Crystal” (1982)
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Since it was directed by Jim Henson of “The Muppets” and marketed as a family-friendly film, there was no reason for parents to feel nervous about taking their kids to see “The Dark Crystal” when it came out. However, this is a little different from Henson’s other work. It has amazing puppets and colorful settings, but the plot is more like “Lord of the Rings.” Innocent creatures called Gelflings must undertake a dangerous quest to save the world, and, naturally, fight evil villains. These villains look like giant spiky vultures, enjoy eating small animals alive, and sometimes torture intelligent creatures by sucking their souls out and turning them into zombies. Pretty heavy stuff for kids who are used to “Sesame Street!”
#8: “The Fox and the Hound” (1981)
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There are serious aspects to a lot of Disney animated movies, and in this one, the main conflict is right there in the title: a little fox cub and hunting hound are best friends growing up, but eventually must come to terms with the fact that they’re natural enemies. How does this happen? Well, an older dog chases the fox and gets hit by a train, then the hound and his owner hunt down the fox out of revenge, and then they get attacked by a bear, and honestly, it’s a mess. If you and your kids are looking for a sweet story where a dog and a fox teach everyone to be more accepting of one another… this isn’t that.
#7: “Bridge to Terabithia” (2007)
Some of you probably remember reading this book as a kid; if not, we’re about to spoil it for you. Sorry. Honestly, though, we may be doing you a favor. The first two-thirds of the story are happy and imaginative; a young boy and girl become friends, and make up a fantasy world together where they act out heroic scenes. Then, practically out of nowhere, a main character dies horribly, the film becomes a tragedy, and your heart is crushed as you watch a child struggle with previously unknown depths of grief. Yes, all right, there is a somewhat uplifting ending… If you can get there without losing all hope and turning off the movie.
#6: “Gremlins” (1984)
Aww, look at that cute little fellow! Sure, the others aren’t as cute, and they get up to mischief; but they’re just little puppets, so it can’t be too scary… right? Well, bear this in mind: the movie’s rated PG, but it’s listed under “horror,” and it has an honest-to-goodness kill count. The human deaths occur mainly off-screen; the gremlins aren’t so lucky. When the mischievous creatures begin wreaking havoc in a small town, kids and adults must band together to destroy the little rascals – and they do, in a variety of surprisingly violent ways. So even though the gremlins are evil, young viewers may find it disturbing to watch them get killed, not just once, but numerous times.
#5: “Coraline” (2009)
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“Coraline” is reminiscent of those old fairy tales intended to frighten children into obedience. Hey, kids! Wouldn’t it be fun to live in a magical world where your parents didn’t make you follow the rules? Well, that’s how you get your soul sucked out and your eyes replaced with buttons. When Coraline meets some trapped ghost children and sees the other-world version of her mother transform into a hideous monster, she decides this place isn’t for her. She manages to escape, and you think the terror is over, but no – the movie has to give you one final heart palpitation when a skeleton hand tries to drag her back to her doom. This is one nightmare-inducing, PG-rated, stop-motion-animated film.
#4: “The NeverEnding Story” (1984)
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This is another movie based on a fantasy book for kids, and another example of how reading something may not prepare you for seeing it. In fact, the main character finds himself magically entering the world of a book; but before he gets there, we all have to watch the book’s protagonist endure various hardships, like walking a deadly Sphinx gauntlet and fighting a wolf monster with a stone knife. To be fair, those scenes aren’t too shocking for a fantasy movie, even one intended for youngsters. Unfortunately, whatever this movie may lack in scariness, it makes up for in sadness, when our young hero watches helplessly and cries as his faithful horse slowly sinks into a swamp to drown.
#3: “Watership Down” (1978)
At first glance, especially if you haven’t read the novel, this looks like a cute animated film about rabbits. Well, it may be animated, and about rabbits, but “Watership Down” is anything but cute: it’s downright horrifying. After a young rabbit sees an ominous vision of blood on a field, he and his friends leave their home – only to be attacked at every turn by humans, dogs, and even other rabbits in extremely violent scenes. Probably the most disturbing moment occurs when another rabbit describes how his previous warren got buried, and all the rabbits inside were trapped and killed. He didn’t see this, since he escaped, but they show it anyway – just to make sure no one leaves the film without nightmares.
#2: “Return to Oz” (1985)
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Wait… There was a movie sequel to “The Wizard of Oz” that came out forty-six years later?? Yes, and there’s a good reason you’ve probably never heard of it. L. Frank Baum wrote many Oz books, several of which featured Dorothy; however, none of them involved Dorothy being sent to an asylum to undergo electroshock therapy. We can’t imagine why. Anyway, Dorothy escapes and goes to Oz, where she meets some familiar characters from the first movie, like the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion, and some new characters from later Oz books, like the evil Nome King and Princess Mombi. This princess wants Dorothy’s head, since she has a collection of heads that she occasionally swaps out with her own. Wait, what? Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
“The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad” (1949)
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“Where the Wild Things Are” (2009)
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“The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” (1987)
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#1: “Grave of the Fireflies” (1988)
The fact that this movie was released on a bill with the whimsical “My Neighbor Totoro” is unfortunate, if not downright criminal, because this may be the most tragic animated film ever made. It follows the story of Seita and Setsuko, two children struggling to survive in the final months of World War Two. After their village in Kobe is bombed, they are left homeless and without parents. Seita becomes increasingly desperate to save his little sister as she grows hungry and sick; and we’re sorry to tell you this, but nothing ends well for anybody. “Grave of the Fireflies” is widely considered a masterpiece war drama, and as such, it may be too much for adults to handle, let alone children!