Top 20 Dumbest Things South Park Parents Have Done

#20: Turning Kenny's Neighborhood Into SodoSopa

Also in:

Top 10 TV Shows That Are Turning 20 This Year

It only took an overwhelming desire to get a Whole Foods in “South Park” to destroy Kenny’s neighborhood and a longtime restaurant’s business. With help from the residents, the mayor funds a gentrification project meant to attract more affluent hipsters and businesses in hopes to impress the folks at Whole Foods. The entire fiasco highlights just how out of touch Mayor McDaniels, Randy, and many others are to those who are less fortunate than themselves. Sure, the town does eventually get their supermarket, but only at the expense of both Kenny’s family, and the poor City Wok owner.

#19: Randy Buys a Blockbuster

Also in:

Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Randy Marsh on South Park

It’s somewhat common knowledge that today, streaming services have all but replaced physical mediums like VHS and DVD. So it comes as a massive surprise to both his wife and kids that Randy decides to purchase and reopen a Blockbuster Video store. That alone should be enough to put him in the “dumbest decisions ever” category. But his naivety knows no bounds as he continues to insist that not only is there a demand for his store, but he forces the whole family to work there. Of all Randy’s bad choices, this has to rank as one of the worst. Yet, as dumb as Randy’s decision was, we can at least give props for the awesome tribute to “The Shining” the episode gave us.

One of the early shticks of “South Park” was flipping the narrative to show how the kids always seemed to be more intelligent than the parents. It only took six episodes before we saw the most glaring example of this. When Kyle’s mom learns of the boy's love of Terrance and Phillip, she convinces all the parents in town to protest the network airing the show. With all the adults gone, the kids are left to fend for themselves. The episode shows how the parents seem more interested in fighting causes to help their kids, versus actually taking care of them.

Chickenpox is a common disease that can be far more serious as an adult than a child, but does that really excuse purposely exposing kids to a virus? Such is the case in “South Park” when Kenny catches the disease and the parents decide to send the other children over to his place to try and expose them to it. The boys learn about this and find a way to creatively get back at their parents for their deception. We’d like to think the parents were just trying to do what they thought was best, but come on; there’s vaccines for that now! #16: Randy Purposefully Contracts Testicular Cancer There was a time when marijuana could only be legally obtained through a card issued by a doctor. So when Randy learns he can get weed if he has cancer, he goes to extreme lengths to purposely give himself the disease, all in the name of getting high. Others follow suit and before you know it, they all end up with testicular cancer. They literally bounce around with joy, high as a kite. All of this just to get their hands on some pot. Clearly none of these dads considered how bad things can get when you contract cancer.

#15: Randy Gets in Little League Fights

Also in:

Top 10 Awkward Randy Moments on South Park

If you’ve ever had kids who play in little league baseball, you’ve probably seen dads just like Randy. They trash talk and are overly obnoxious while everyone else is trying to enjoy the game. That in itself is annoying, but not unexpected. Randy however takes it to a new level by picking fights with other dads, resulting in physical violence. It’s fine to want to support your kids' extracurricular activities, but purposely goading other parents for the sake of a fist fight is not the way to go.

How many times have you heard about parents being concerned about violent images on television triggering similar behavior in kids? What if the story were flipped and it was the kids who were so worried about what their moms and dads were watching? It’s an incredibly clever switch-up, yet showcases how truly dumbfounding the parents in this town can be. Randy, Sharon, and countless other parents become overly obsessed with crime reenactment shows. The great lengths they go to try and get back their crime shows really highlights how truly dumb these so-called “adults” really are.

Leave it to “South Park” to find a hilarious way to mock one of the oldest debates among men and women: putting the toilet seat down. Some argue that if putting the seat down is a big deal for you, why not just do it yourself when using the restroom? Others argue that in the middle of the night, you may not notice it and end up sitting in toilet water. It’s the latter of these two which “South Park” chose to mock. Clyde’s mom is apparently so incredibly naive that she actually gets stuck in the toilet and dies. Yes, the toilet seat thing is annoying, but come on Betsy. Really?

An inappropriate photo of Butters triggers his father to claim the young boy is “confused” about his sexuality, and sends him to a conversion therapy camp. Butters himself has no idea what the camp is really for. While there, he continues to be disoriented by their military-like behavior of the staff, and the repeated attempts by other “confused” kids to end their stay once and for all. None of the adults or parents seem to have any clue about the damage or hurt they are causing. By the end of it, Butters stands clear and tall making it known that it is the parents and counselors who are confused.

Truth be told, this could be said of both the parents and kids, but let’s focus on the former. ManBearPig has always served as a stand-in for climate change within the bounds of “South Park”. During a two-parter in season 22, MBP goes on a rampage, killing a bunch of the locals. Despite their horrific deaths, law enforcement, many of the parents and other adults alike continue to deny that MBP is real. A massive destructive force is literally tearing people to shreds and they continue to question its legitimacy? Nothing is more confusing than continuing to deny something is real when everything around you says otherwise.

In the appropriately named “South Park: The Fractured but Whole,” the kids discover that Mitch Conner, Cartman’s dastardly left hand, has returned to take over South Park by running for Mayor. His plan? Get all the adults hooked on drugs and alcohol with cat urine while letting criminals roam free to make Mayor McDaniels look bad. His plan succeeds in the first timeline, but when the New Kid rewinds time, the kids manage to expose Mitch’s plan before his inauguration. (Although, let’s be honest - this was Cartman’s doing the whole time…) Rather than analyze their stupidity and overindulgence, the adults all choose to disperse in search of “clean drugs and alcohol.” If only that really exists.

#9: Getting Earth Blocked Off

Also in:

Top 10 Dumbest Things Done By South Park Parents

After bringing down a notorious space criminal, the adults find themselves stuck with a ludicrous amount of space cash. However, instead of reporting and returning it to the Intergalactic Police, they choose to keep the stolen cash to themselves, lie to the police, and begin using it as their own currency. As it turns out, the criminal and “space cash” were all a part of a test to see if Earth was eligible to become a part of an elite legion of intergalactic societies. Citing their greed and self-indulgent behavior, the criminal - who is revealed to be an ambassador of the legion - isolates Earth from the rest of the universe.

When Tolkien manages to get rich families to move to South Park, Garrison becomes irritated with the sudden change and rallies some of the townsfolk to get rid of them. However, their methods are a little unorthodox, to say the least, as their methods for scaring the rich away involve burning “a lower-case ‘t’” that supposedly stands for “time to leave.” To make matters worse, they dress up as “ghosts” as their last resort to get the rich to leave. While their plan works, unfortunately, the ending implies that Garrison managed to trick the town into temporarily becoming the KKK in a convoluted get-rich-quick scheme. How did nobody realize this sooner?

When Randy has the boys give the Stotchs a rental of “Lord of the Rings,” he soon discovers he accidentally gave them a pornographic film. And so, he and the rest of the parents end up searching for the kids before their innocent eyes experience it. Luckily, they find them, but rather than explaining the problem, Randy chooses to explain the plot in immense detail, leaving the boys speechless. Given that Tolkien watched the movie, we can understand his assumption, but the stupidity lies in his negligence to ask, let alone leave the kids confused.

Talk about being overly paranoid… After witnessing their son putting on multiple personas (or, as the kids call it, “playing pretend”), Linda and Stephen believe their little Butters has multiple personality disorder and place him in therapy with Dr. Janus. Butters quickly becomes frustrated with his predicament as he finds his own doctor is the one suffering from the illness. We got to side with Butters on this one. Playing pretend is nothing alarming; kids do it all the time and even adults can adopt personas. Besides, Butters is just enjoying his life as a postman/truck driver. Let the kid have a little fun!

Once again, “Family Guy” has gone and angered another part of the world, getting ready to air a new episode that depicts the prophet Muhammed. While Kyle tries to stop Cartman from getting the episode pulled, the townsfolk of South Park are thrown into a blind panic, wondering how to keep themselves from getting bombed by Muslim terrorists. Just so they could say they never saw the episode, the whole town ends up burying their heads in sand. There are two issues here. First off, the terrorists were threatening the whole country, not just South Park. And two, who is going to bury the last person’s head in the sand? This was an absurd plan conjured up in a desperate move to claim innocence.

South Park Elementary finds themselves in a chaotic split when the candidates for the school’s new mascots were announced. One half wants the giant douche, and the other wants the turd sandwich. The only student who doesn’t seem to care is Stan Marsh, and when he voices his apathy, the town straps him on a horse and sends him packing. Considering the number of awful things Eric Cartman has done, this is all it took for Stan to be exiled? We guess South Park considers not voting to be worse than making a kid eat his own parents.

The kids have found a new way to get high, and the drugs are right in their homes. When the adults discover it is possible to get high off of cat urine, they take extreme measures to protect their children, going so far as to straight-up ban all cats. Of course, that doesn’t stop Kenny from getting hopped up on what is called “cheesing,” and Cartman ends up housing dozens of cats in his attic. Clearly, this overblown ban could be foreseen as difficult to enforce, but what else could we expect from the grown-ups at this point?

In the episode “Child Abduction is Not Funny,” the parents of South Park go to great lengths to ensure their kids’ safety. Despite putting clunky “Child Tracker” helmets on every kid in town, the parents soon discover a new horror thanks to their local news - the possibility that parents may abduct their own children. You’d think there would be one sane grown-up to call out the lunacy on display, but nope! Every kid in South Park is sent away, and Mayor McDaniels hires the City Wok owner to build a massive wall, ensuring nobody will be able to kidnap their kids.

As a result of seeing the very adult “Terrence & Phillip” movie, every kid in town is swearing and calling each other inappropriate names. Rather than take it upon themselves to be parents and teach their kids why cursing isn’t appropriate, the mothers of South Park blame the whole thing on Canada and form an organization “Mothers Against Canada.” The outrage eventually escalates into a war between the US and Canada, and the farting comedians are taken as the US’s prisoners. This all could have been avoided had they spent a few minutes explaining to their kids what they were doing was wrong. Did we miss any major atrocities from the parents in “South Park”? Feel free to voice your opinion down in the comments!