10 Most Horrifying Deaths of Kings

Drinking Gold/Flayed Alive

Emperor Valerian (199-260/264 AD)

Many of the wildest stories surrounding deaths from antiquity remain difficult to fully research and understand. Roman Emperor Valerian has two different deaths to his name, with both sounding extremely unpleasant. Ancient historians such as Eutopius have written down tales of how Valerian was captured and held prisoner in Persia by that countrys king, Shapur I. One version of what eventually happened to Valerian states that he was forced to imbibe molten gold, while still another claims that he was flayed alive. Additionally, stories also circulated about how the Persians stuffed the remains of Valerian, and kept the mans corpse on display as a trophy.

Stabbed in the Toilet

King Edmund Ironside (990-1016 AD)

Mark Twain is attributed as saying never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Now, we wouldnt call what allegedly happened to King Edmund Ironside a good story, per se, but it is whats endured since this monarchs death. Writings of the day dont necessarily refer to any foul play on the part of Ironsides death, which is thought to have occurred in London on November 30th, 1016. However, it didnt take very long for stories to arise about how Ironside was allegedly stabbed or shot with an arrow while utilizing a bathroom. Still other sources, such as Adam of Bremen, chronicled that Ironside had been poisoned, but its the toilet tale thats survived in the public consciousness.

Sacrificial Poisoning

John, King of England (1166-1216 AD)

Ask anybody whos ever played Oregon Trail; dying of dysentery is no fun. And its true that this was what eventually befell John, King of England, back in 1216. Its the legend of how this ill-favored monarch contracted the disease that remains most intriguing, however, since it actually involves a human sacrifice. Stories have been passed down about how a monk at Swineshead Abbey poisoned King Johns wine with the toxin of a venomous toad. This monks life was also forfeit from this action, since he was required to taste the kings wine prior to serving the table. Historians today admittedly cast a lot of doubt upon the veracity of this story, but what remains true was the ill-will many had for King Johns reign.

Dont Mess with Mom

Pyrrhus of Epirus (319-272 BCE)

We cant help but wonder what other ancient wars might be like if every soldier and general had their respective mothers present on the battlefield. Legend states that it was the mother of a soldier present during the Battle of Argos who watched from above as her son battled Pyrrhus of Epirus, a Greek king for whom the phrase Pyrrhic victory is named. The woman reportedly tossed a heavy tile from her vantage point, which struck Pyrrhus and knocked him from his horse. Some sources claim that Pyrrhus perished from this strike, while still others state that the tile caused spinal paralysis. This enabled another soldier, Zopyrus of Macedon, to deliver the fatal blow.

Disease & ...Combustion?

Henry VIII (1491-1547 AD)

Weve probably all been injured at one point or another in our lives, perhaps even requiring some sort of physical therapy or medication in order to achieve recovery. Medicine wasnt exactly as we know it during the era of King Henry VIII, however, as evidenced by this monarchs steep decline in health after a jousting accident. The Kings sustained injuries to his legs that never fully healed, becoming infected and ulcerated. Henrys weight ballooned as a result of his inactivity, which caused other maladies like scurvy and possibly gout to manifest themselves in his body. An additional, albeit unsubstantiated, legend further states that Henrys gaseous corpse exploded while in state within a travelling coffin.

Drinking Mercury

Emperor Qin Shi Huang (259-210 BCE)

The history of feudal China is one rich with colorful characters and fascinating stories, including that of the countrys very first Emperor, Qin Shi Huang. This founder of the Qin Dynasty was allegedly obsessed with immortality, and tasked his court alchemists with creating elixirs that could prolong his life. Emperor Qin Shi Huang died in the summer of 210 BCE, with stories eventually surfacing that it was perhaps one of those same elixirs that caused his death at forty-nine years of age. This was due to the presence of poisonous mercury within their contents.

Scream Stroke

Emperor Valentinian I (321-375 AD)

William Shakespeare famously wrote uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. This quote from King Henry IV goes a long way in describing the daily stresses and anxieties troubling just about any leader, never mind one from the ancient world. Emperor Valentinian was a ruler that was unfortunately quick-tempered and easy to anger, an aspect of his personality that would eventually become his undoing. The Emperor suffered a fatal stroke after taking it upon himself to scream and shout at envoys from the Germanic tribe of Quadi, who were adversarial to Rome. Valentinian was later deified by his people, but we cant help but wonder if he regretted this decision in the afterlife.

Ka-Boomed

James II of Scotland (1430-1460 AD)

Death on the battlefield is a risk that everybody takes whenever they engage in a war or conflict. Its likely, however, that they do not expect that death to occur at the business end of one of their own cannons. The reign of James II of Scotland was short and tumultuous, where this young monarch struggled to find his place as a King of Scots. James decision to utilize modern artillery on the battlefield had found him some success, but this interest also resulted in the kings demise. He was standing too close to one of his newly imported French cannons when it went off, and the resulting explosion killed James II on the spot.

Rear-Ended Poker

Edward II of England (1284-1327 AD)

Theres no clear answer as to what exactly happened to the exiled and imprisoned Edward II around the time of his death. Historians have settled on the 21st of September, 1327 as an official date, although this is disputed by some. Additionally, all of those who know exactly how the deposed king died are all gone themselves, with stories fading into legend about Edward IIs grisly demise. The most famous of these stories involve a red hot poker that was inserted violently into the kings rear end. This may come down to slander or propaganda, however, since rumors also spread about Edwards possible homosexuality. Essentially, historians can surmise that Edward II was probably murdered; they just cant agree upon how this occurred.

Death by Consuming Sea Parasites

Henry I of England (1068-1135 AD)

Teachers have told us. Parents have told us. Always listen to your doctor. Unfortunately, King Henry I of England didnt heed his royal physicians when they advised him to curb his appetite for sea lampreys. The meat of these fish can contain mercury or PCBs that can cause severe harm to the human body if ingested to excess. Unfortunately, excess was exactly what King Henry wanted at dinner time, and this decision resulted in a fatal illness. This King of England did live long enough to settle his debts and otherwise get his house in order, but if he had listened to his doctors, Henrys reign couldve potentially lasted much longer.

Are legends sometimes more interesting than the truth? How do you think these stories started in the first place? Let us know in the comments.