Alien Airports, Hunting Zombies & Raining Turkeys: The Dispatch #37

Alien Airports, Hunting Zombies & Raining Turkeys: The Dispatch #37

There’s probably a reason why you haven’t heard of these stories, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t interesting! Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and this is The Dispatch, where we bring you the Internet’s weirdest and coolest stories! This week, we’re talking about turkey sky-drops, hunting the undead and alien airports in Iraq.

#3: Raining Turkeys

With fall upon us, it’s that special time of year when you can go out and watch the autumn leaves, take in the cool October air and most of all, watch turkeys fall out of an airplane. That last one is a special shoutout to anyone from Yellville, Arkansas, the home of the acclaimed Turkey Trot festival. The annual event was conceived to “call attention to the region’s abundant wild turkeys”, and features such great attractions as the Miss Turkey Trot pageant, the 5km Turkey Walk/Run and the time-honored Turkey Drop tradition, where wild turkeys are dropped from several hundred feet out of an airplane. This year, however, some residents are taking issue with the turkey drop, calling it inhumane, and have even shown their protest with “Turkey Lives Matter” t-shirts. Thankfully, as one resident so eloquently expressed, “Turkeys can fly so they just glide down to the ground so I think it’s alright.” Wow, she’s good.

#2: The Walking Dead of Minnesota

A pleasant morning can consist of a hot shower and your favorite section of the newspaper. But, not for one Minneapolis man, who instead woke to the sound of gunshots and glass breaking. Police arrived on the scene in St. Paul, Minnesota, around 5 am on October 8th, 2016, and discovered 24-year-old Ryan Stanislaw walking outside the complainant’s apartment with an AR-15 rifle slung on his back. According to Stanislaw, he was just shooting at a zombie up the road. “I’m out here making sure my neighborhood is safe. I didn’t see the cops, so I figured I’d do something.” Valiant as his efforts were, the young man’s green-tipped, zombie-specific bullets nearly found their way into the head of the un-undead. Stanislaw was also convicted of making terrorist threats in nearby Ramsey County last month. It looks like his ongoing criminal behavior might have a negative effect on his chances of being in the next season of the Walking Dead.

#1: Ancient Alien Airports

You know how the aliens built the pyramids in Egypt and the Mesoamerican pyramids in Mexico? Well, apparently in the southern Iraqi region of Dhi Qar, the world’s oldest airport was built by extra-terrestrial’s according to Iraq’s transport minister Kazem Finjan. “If you do not believe me, read the book of the great historian Zecharia Sitchin,” he said in a press conference, defending his claim. Sitchin – and Finjan by proxy – claim that Sumerian colonists came from the planet Nibiru 450,000 years ago, and decided that present day southern Iraq was the ideal place for an alien airport. You know, due to meteorological and positive atmospheric factors in the Dhi Qar area. Is this the minister of space transport, or just earth transport?

So, do you think food was just as expensive in alien airports?
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