10 Assassin's Creed Moments We Wish We Could Forget
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VOICE OVER: Aaron Brown
WRITTEN BY: Caitlin Johnson
These are the "Assassin's Creed" moments we wish we could forget... For this list, we're looking at moments that were frustrating, depressing, or just plain unpleasant, from the entire “AC” series. Our list includes Platforming Puzzles from “Assassin's Creed Revelations” (2011), Mandatory Child from “Assassin's Creed Odyssey” (2018), Achilles from “Assassin's Creed Rogue” (2014), and more!
Welcome to MojoPlays! Today, we’re looking at the 10 “Assassin’s Creed” moments we wish we could forget. We’re sorry for dredging up these memories. For this list, we’re looking at moments that were frustrating, depressing, or just plain unpleasant, from the entire “AC” series.
Of all Shay’s former mentors, Hope has to be the most frustrating to deal with. He needs to go hunt her down in an enormous mansion in New York, but she’s got a real thing about poison. She drugs Shay with an airborne toxin that makes him slowly die if he stops moving, so you’re stuck chasing her around in a circle and trying to find hiding spots where, if you pause to take a look around, you’ll start to die. It’s really the worst of the franchise’s notorious chasing boss fights, not to mention that, as with the rest of “Rogue”, you’re also being pursued by annoying, Assassin stalkers the entire time.
Yes, this joke was very funny, back in 2007 when “Portal” was still somewhat niche. It was a way of letting people know that you, like them, were a cultured gamer who had beaten this popular puzzle game. But today, it’s been repeated so much that hearing anybody try to make a joke about how “the cake is a lie” can really get under your skin. Apparently, Ubisoft didn’t get the memo, because in 2020, they included a joke about cake in “Valhalla”. You’ll have found this Easter egg down in Essex, where you have to solve a handful of riddles from a guy called “The Riddler”. He promises you cake, and what do you know, there isn’t any. It’s enough to make you rage quit.
This isn’t a moment from within a particular “AC” game, but rather, the entirety of “Unity” at launch. On Series X and PS5, “Unity” now performs like a dream, running at a stable 60fps and really showing off its graphics, which are still impressive even years later. However, as everybody knows, its launch was a different story. It was full of bugs, some nightmare-inducing, and the high crowd density of angry Parisian peasants tanked the frame-rate in all the most important areas. We fans have been spending years trying to rub out the memory of “Unity’s” launch in favor of how the game is now, and convincing people to give it another chance.
We’d like to forget THIS moment because it was brutal and extremely sad. Achilles Davenport is already disabled when Connor meets him in “Assassin’s Creed III”, but “Rogue” took us back in time a few decades. Along with Liam, Achilles is one of Shay’s final targets as they search for an Isu vault deep in the Arctic. While out there on the ice, Shay convinces Haytham to let Achilles live so he can warn the remaining Assassins about the dangerous vaults. Haytham listens, but then turns around and shoots Achilles through the knee, an injury that will follow him for the rest of his life. Ironic that they do this so that Achilles won’t forget what happened, but we’d love to forget about Haytham’s cruelty.
For years, we were clamoring for Ubisoft to give us more modern-day sections where you actually get to do assassinations, perhaps even an entire game where you stay in the modern era. Instead, they gave us these long sections of “Assassin’s Creed III”, where Desmond needs to go hunt down Templars and precursor artifacts outside the Animus. Unfortunately, playing “AC” with no heads-up display, bad checkpoints, and endless guard patrols you can’t get detected by, wasn’t actually all that fun! The Brazilian, stadium level could have been great, but instead, it was a tedious chore to complete.
Ezio enlists Leonardo da Vinci’s help to save the Doge of Venice, the city’s leader elected by Venetian nobles, from Templar assassination. Leonardo provides him with a prototype glider and his fellow Assassins light fires around the city to provide smoke and continued lift for. This is all so he can infiltrate the palace from above, so you have to do the entire flying machine segment only to land on the roof of the Palazzo. And yes, during normal gameplay, you CAN simply climb up to the top of it. It’s a great idea to have da Vinci’s glider play an important role, but it controls so badly we’d much rather pretend this mission never happened.
Upon completing the major memory sequences of the story, you’ll return to Desmond Miles on “Animus Island”, as he’s joined by the digital ghost of Clay Kaczmarek. You’ll then unlock these first-person platforming segments where you have to place down blocks of different shapes and avoid obstacles, while unlocking pieces of Desmond’s backstory. First is the fact it took four games to get to Desmond’s backstory, second is that the platforming sections just aren’t fun. And at the end of all that, Desmond’s childhood with the Assassins really isn’t too interesting, and you’ve probably forgotten it all already.
“Brotherhood” really bought into the anti-Borgia propaganda that flooded Italy in the 15th and 16th centuries, though historians now believe that nearly all of the outrageous stories about the Borgias were lies. It’s not likely they were any better or worse than the other noble families who had controlled Italy, but they WERE Spanish, and rival Italian nobles didn’t like that. A story about incest between Cesare and Lucrezia Borgia gained a lot of ground, and it appeared in “Brotherhood” clear as day. Not only did Ubisoft make us watch a relationship between a brother and sister play out, but it wasn’t even historically accurate for it to be there. Gross.
If you want to make role-playing games, it would help if you actually let players role-play, Ubisoft. In 2019, additional DLC for “Odyssey” dropped that, among other things, forced Kassandra or Alexios into a mandatory romance that WILL result in a child being born. The child is necessary for plot reasons Ubisoft devised, which means that whether you want to or not, your character is going to be put into this relationship with a character you might not care for. It also outraged fans who were playing their character as gay or asexual, as they were then forced to be straight AND have a child. Ubisoft apologized and patched it eventually.
It remains one of the most shocking twists in video game history, when Desmond, under the control of Juno, unwittingly killed Lucy Stillman, the most interesting and popular modern-day character. Rumors circulate to this day that Lucy was killed off abruptly because of a pay dispute between Ubisoft and Kristen Bell, though neither has talked about it publicly. We’d like to go on pretending that Lucy wasn’t a Templar triple agent, though, and that she was loyal to the end. After all, she was killed by Juno, who isn’t the most trustworthy of characters - what with her wanting to control the world and eradicate humanity.
Assassinating Hope
“Assassin’s Creed Rogue” (2014)Of all Shay’s former mentors, Hope has to be the most frustrating to deal with. He needs to go hunt her down in an enormous mansion in New York, but she’s got a real thing about poison. She drugs Shay with an airborne toxin that makes him slowly die if he stops moving, so you’re stuck chasing her around in a circle and trying to find hiding spots where, if you pause to take a look around, you’ll start to die. It’s really the worst of the franchise’s notorious chasing boss fights, not to mention that, as with the rest of “Rogue”, you’re also being pursued by annoying, Assassin stalkers the entire time.
The Cake is a Lie
“Assassin’s Creed Valhalla” (2020)Yes, this joke was very funny, back in 2007 when “Portal” was still somewhat niche. It was a way of letting people know that you, like them, were a cultured gamer who had beaten this popular puzzle game. But today, it’s been repeated so much that hearing anybody try to make a joke about how “the cake is a lie” can really get under your skin. Apparently, Ubisoft didn’t get the memo, because in 2020, they included a joke about cake in “Valhalla”. You’ll have found this Easter egg down in Essex, where you have to solve a handful of riddles from a guy called “The Riddler”. He promises you cake, and what do you know, there isn’t any. It’s enough to make you rage quit.
Launch of “Unity”
“Assassin’s Creed Unity” (2014)This isn’t a moment from within a particular “AC” game, but rather, the entirety of “Unity” at launch. On Series X and PS5, “Unity” now performs like a dream, running at a stable 60fps and really showing off its graphics, which are still impressive even years later. However, as everybody knows, its launch was a different story. It was full of bugs, some nightmare-inducing, and the high crowd density of angry Parisian peasants tanked the frame-rate in all the most important areas. We fans have been spending years trying to rub out the memory of “Unity’s” launch in favor of how the game is now, and convincing people to give it another chance.
Achilles
“Assassin’s Creed Rogue” (2014)We’d like to forget THIS moment because it was brutal and extremely sad. Achilles Davenport is already disabled when Connor meets him in “Assassin’s Creed III”, but “Rogue” took us back in time a few decades. Along with Liam, Achilles is one of Shay’s final targets as they search for an Isu vault deep in the Arctic. While out there on the ice, Shay convinces Haytham to let Achilles live so he can warn the remaining Assassins about the dangerous vaults. Haytham listens, but then turns around and shoots Achilles through the knee, an injury that will follow him for the rest of his life. Ironic that they do this so that Achilles won’t forget what happened, but we’d love to forget about Haytham’s cruelty.
The Stadium
“Assassin’s Creed III” (2012)For years, we were clamoring for Ubisoft to give us more modern-day sections where you actually get to do assassinations, perhaps even an entire game where you stay in the modern era. Instead, they gave us these long sections of “Assassin’s Creed III”, where Desmond needs to go hunt down Templars and precursor artifacts outside the Animus. Unfortunately, playing “AC” with no heads-up display, bad checkpoints, and endless guard patrols you can’t get detected by, wasn’t actually all that fun! The Brazilian, stadium level could have been great, but instead, it was a tedious chore to complete.
Doge Mocenigo
“Assassin’s Creed II” (2009)Ezio enlists Leonardo da Vinci’s help to save the Doge of Venice, the city’s leader elected by Venetian nobles, from Templar assassination. Leonardo provides him with a prototype glider and his fellow Assassins light fires around the city to provide smoke and continued lift for. This is all so he can infiltrate the palace from above, so you have to do the entire flying machine segment only to land on the roof of the Palazzo. And yes, during normal gameplay, you CAN simply climb up to the top of it. It’s a great idea to have da Vinci’s glider play an important role, but it controls so badly we’d much rather pretend this mission never happened.
Platforming Puzzles
“Assassin’s Creed Revelations” (2011)Upon completing the major memory sequences of the story, you’ll return to Desmond Miles on “Animus Island”, as he’s joined by the digital ghost of Clay Kaczmarek. You’ll then unlock these first-person platforming segments where you have to place down blocks of different shapes and avoid obstacles, while unlocking pieces of Desmond’s backstory. First is the fact it took four games to get to Desmond’s backstory, second is that the platforming sections just aren’t fun. And at the end of all that, Desmond’s childhood with the Assassins really isn’t too interesting, and you’ve probably forgotten it all already.
Cesare & Lucrezia
“Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood” (2010)“Brotherhood” really bought into the anti-Borgia propaganda that flooded Italy in the 15th and 16th centuries, though historians now believe that nearly all of the outrageous stories about the Borgias were lies. It’s not likely they were any better or worse than the other noble families who had controlled Italy, but they WERE Spanish, and rival Italian nobles didn’t like that. A story about incest between Cesare and Lucrezia Borgia gained a lot of ground, and it appeared in “Brotherhood” clear as day. Not only did Ubisoft make us watch a relationship between a brother and sister play out, but it wasn’t even historically accurate for it to be there. Gross.
Mandatory Child
“Assassin’s Creed Odyssey” (2018)If you want to make role-playing games, it would help if you actually let players role-play, Ubisoft. In 2019, additional DLC for “Odyssey” dropped that, among other things, forced Kassandra or Alexios into a mandatory romance that WILL result in a child being born. The child is necessary for plot reasons Ubisoft devised, which means that whether you want to or not, your character is going to be put into this relationship with a character you might not care for. It also outraged fans who were playing their character as gay or asexual, as they were then forced to be straight AND have a child. Ubisoft apologized and patched it eventually.
Lucy’s Betrayal
“Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood” (2010)It remains one of the most shocking twists in video game history, when Desmond, under the control of Juno, unwittingly killed Lucy Stillman, the most interesting and popular modern-day character. Rumors circulate to this day that Lucy was killed off abruptly because of a pay dispute between Ubisoft and Kristen Bell, though neither has talked about it publicly. We’d like to go on pretending that Lucy wasn’t a Templar triple agent, though, and that she was loyal to the end. After all, she was killed by Juno, who isn’t the most trustworthy of characters - what with her wanting to control the world and eradicate humanity.
