How To Survive A Disaster Movie

How to Survive a Disaster Movie

Come rain, hail, or asteroids the size of Texas, we’ve got you covered!

Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’ll be discussing How to Survive a Disaster Movie. For the record, this isn’t necessarily how you’d survive a real-life disaster, but rather one that stemmed from the mind of Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich.

In every good disaster movie, there are early warning signs. Whether it’s a conspiracy theorist like Charlie Frost, or an MIT tech expert like David Levinson, there’s a prophet who forecasts the ensuing catastrophe. Occasionally, the authorities will heed these warnings and order an evacuation. In most cases, though, there’s often a stern military general or egotistical politician who won’t listen to reason. If you’re in a position of power and somebody is trying to tell you about doomsday, LISTEN TO THEM! Otherwise, you’ll wind up watching the carnage unfold, asking yourself the age-old question: “What have I done?”

Even if the high-ups take warnings to heart, not every crisis can be averted. When the world is crumbling around you, your first instinct might be to freak out. But it’s the characters that keep it together who have the highest chances of survival. The panicky person in a disaster movie makes rash, impulsive decisions that inevitably get them killed. Along the way, they’ll frequently put others in jeopardy. When a member of your group can’t pull themselves together, give them a firm slap across the face. And if a slap doesn’t do the trick… well, it’s not like anyone’s going to miss ‘em!


Once everyone’s calmed down, the next step is to find a safe and/or quiet place. Wherever you seek refuge, make sure it’s as far away from any national landmarks as possible. At least in the movies, iconic monuments and buildings are habitually the main targets when all hell breaks loose. Be it the White House blowing up, the Hollywood sign getting swept away in a tornado, or the Statue of Liberty having her head torn off, no landmark is off limits. Just for once we’d like to see a disaster movie where a minor attraction is obliterated. Like, what if the world’s largest toilet got destroyed? Oh, the humanity!

Your best bet is to steer clear of densely populated areas entirely. If movies like “The Day After Tomorrow” and “San Andreas” have taught us anything, it’s that California and New York are the most vulnerable U.S. states when disaster strikes. Even the suburbs can sometimes be dangerous. Outside of North America, you can expect Paris, Tokyo, and Shanghai to see their fair share of destruction as well. So, for all city slickers out there, get mobile, hit the accelerator, and drive away from those floodwaters, lava flows, or earthquakes. Better yet, get airborne so you can dodge any tumbling skyscrapers!

To increase your odds of survival, we’d suggest getting out of dodge with a dog by your side. Actually, being a dog might be the ideal way to make it through a disaster movie alive. From Little Richard in “Armageddon” to Boomer in “Independence Day,” man’s best friend often manages to overcome every obstacle. Of course, this rule doesn’t always hold true in other genres, like horror movies . . . so make sure what kind of movie you’re in before, well, deciding to ... be a dog, we guess?

Of course, if you’re watching this video, we’re willing to wager that you’re not a dog and don’t plan on becoming a dog in the near future. Fortunately, there are plenty of archetypes that have high survival rates in disaster movies. If you just so happen to be a scientist, congratulations! You’ll be sticking around for a while to provide exposition, warn the authorities about the imminent danger, and soften the tension with the occasional nerdy joke. Basically, if you’re Jeff Goldblum, you’re golden. Being the President also has its perks when aliens are attacking or a comet is on a collision course with Earth. You’ll be needed to deliver an epic speech and maybe take down enemies in a fighter jet. You know, usual presidential stuff.

Just because you’re surrounded by constant chaos doesn’t mean you can’t find romance in the process. When you’re falling in love, not even a giant tidal wave can drown your blossoming relationship. That being said, we should clarify that you need to be falling in love as disaster hits. If you’re already in an established relationship, chances are either you or your significant other is going to perish in a tragic accident or act of self-sacrifice, especially if the wedding is just a week away. For separated or divorced couples on the other hand, the disaster will provide the perfect backdrop to rekindle your love. Sadly, this never bodes well for stepdads or mom’s new boyfriends.

In the midst of any calamity, there will come a point where it seems like the coast is clear or that you’ve cheated death by the skin of your teeth. Perhaps you’ll even sigh in relief, assuming that the worst is over. Letting your defenses down is the dumbest thing you can conceivably do in a disaster movie, though. The second you take your eyes off the danger zone, BAM! A crocodile pops out and sinks its teeth into you. Just remember, if you look away, it’ll be the last sight you ever see.

In any disaster movie, the one character who has the MOST chances of making it out alive is the hero (or at the very least the daughter of the hero). When countless lives are on the line, putting the needs of others above your own is the most heroic thing anybody can do. So, if you see a little boy all by himself when Godzilla is stomping around, escort him to safety. If a teenage girl gets trapped in the middle of an earthquake, don’t just abandon her like a colossal jerkface. Get in there and save some lives! In a disaster movie, ALWAYS be rescuing!

Finally, be prepared to face your fears! In some cases, this fear will be rooted in some kind of childhood trauma. For example, if your father got sucked up by an F5 tornado, you’ll have to confront a similar twister years later. Of course, even if you don’t have a tragic backstory, anybody would naturally be afraid of a hurricane, tsunami, or volcanic eruption. Whatever has been trying to kill you for a majority of the run time, the credits won’t roll until you’ve tackled your fears headfirst!