Sexual Innuendos In Nintendo Games
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VOICE OVER: Adrian Sousa
WRITTEN BY: Nathan Sharp
Nintendo has a reputation for family friendly content, but some sneaky developers always manage to slip in a few jokes only adults will understand.
Oh Nintendo, you sneaky so-and-sos. Welcome to MojoPlays, and today we’ll be looking at various sexual innuendos found throughout Nintendo games. For this video, we’ll only be considering games that were published by Nintendo, so games that Nintendo did not develop or publish will not be included, even if they are Nintendo console exclusives.
“Protection”
“Pokémon X & Y” (2013)
Oh yeah, the Butler knows what’s up. One scene in “Pokémon X and Y” sees you watching fireworks on the balcony of Parfum Palace with Shauna, and Shauna is…excited, to say the least. Maybe in more ways than one. She first says that she’s never watched fireworks with a boy before, then states that she never wants to forget this moment. You could damn-near cut the sexual tension with a knife. Mr. Butler then shows up and gives the player a little gift – TM17 Protect. The player then puts the “protection” in his pocket for later, and the Butler even says that its usefulness decreases with repeated use. We don’t know why the old butler has condoms laying around, but hey, it was certainly nice of him to notice the chemistry.
“If I Could Only Find Someone Who Was Good at Plowing…”
“The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword” (2011)
In “Skyward Sword,” there’s a character named Kina who works at the Lumpy Pumpkin. When she’s not entertaining customers with her singing, she’s working the pumpkin fields behind the pub. After completing the Fire Sanctuary, Kina will tell Link that the field needs plowing so they can plant the seeds. There’s just one problem - plowing is hard work, and Kina’s not up for that crap. Now if she could only find someone who was good at plowing! Now, at this point, Link and Kina are no strangers – he’s helped her pick and transport pumpkins, and he’s even performed with her on stage. Maybe she’s grown close to Link and wants him plowing the pumpkin patch with his Skyward Sword, if you get our meaning.
Inking the Splat Zone
“Splatoon 2” (2017)
Yeah, so, Marina is a bit of a pervert. In one instance, while explaining how much she dislikes mayonnaise, Marina says, “That disgusting mouthfeel…I’d rather lick Crusty Sean’s grease trap!”, which, you know, is pretty explicit for a Nintendo game! Like, that’s not even innuendo. That’s just a straight-up sexual comment. Things get slightly more subtle with the phrase, “With invisibility, you could spy on people while they’re…inking their Splat Zone.” And again, this was definitely intentional. Not only is the wording highly suspicious, but Nintendo used an ellipsis for humorous effect. They knew what they were doing.
Raising the Game’s Age Rating
“Paper Mario: Color Splash” (2016)
In “Paper Mario: Color Splash,” Mario is thrown in jail by a Snifit. While peering through the bars at his captor, the Snifit says, “Well, I’ve already locked you in jail. There isn’t actually much worse I can do without raising this game’s age rating.” It’s a clever little bit of meta-humor, and it proves that Nintendo isn’t above prison rape jokes. Some innuendos are cute and relatively innocent, like plowing the pumpkin patch. Some are little…darker, like a Snifit raping Mario. To be honest, we’re a little surprised that this one was given the okay. Just imagine a child asking their parents what the Snifit meant by that.
The Whole Conversation Between Tibarn & Nailah
“Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn” (2007)
There’s a conversation between Tibarn and Nailah in “Radiant Dawn” that is absolutely littered with sexual innuendos. It starts with Nailah saying that she’s wanted “this” (meaning a fight) for a long time and that she can barely hold herself back. Tibarn responds by saying they can have a “nice, private time,” just him and her. OK, OK, thinly-veiled sexual tension, that’s nothing new. But then things get serious when Tibarn “offers his head” to Nailah and says that she’ll have to “bring [him] down to the ground first.” The conversation finally concludes with Nailah asking Tibarn to refrain from telling Rafiel about their engagement because he “wouldn’t understand [their] urges.” So, yeah, the fight was just a metaphor for them gettin’ it on, right?
The Vibe Scepter
“Super Princess Peach” (2006)
If you want to talk thinly-veiled metaphors for sex, let us introduce you to The Vibe Scepter. God, it just sounds dirty. The entire ending to the DS game “Super Princess Peach” is about dildos and female masturbation. No, we’re not joking, and we’re not stretching, either. It’s QUITE obvious. To start, the Scepter appears quite phallic, and the game says that “somewhere, someone might possibly be using it right now.” The game then takes a really weird detour into left field by suggesting that the player’s mother has recently been using the Vibe Scepter and that it’s “hidden away in [their] house somewhere.” And you thought Nintendo was innocent. And, yes, it was someone’s job to write a masturbation joke aimed at a young child and their mother…
A Different Kind of Business
“The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” (1998)
Nintendo was really piling it on for “Ocarina of Time,” weren’t they? Once Ganondorf takes over Hyrule, Link can approach a creepy Poe Collector who buys and sells Poe souls. The Poe Collector seems infatuated with Link and his beauty, and he even says, “If I looked as good as you, I could run a different kind of business.” So, there you go – a blatant prostitution joke in a Zelda game! While the pedophile innuendo was likely unintentional, this joke seems 100% deliberate, and really, we have to tip our hats to Nintendo. We didn’t think they would have the guts to put such a blatantly-crude joke in their flagship title.
Found Toadstool’s ???
“uper Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars” (1996)
Just what is Princess Toadstool hiding in her room? The question has baffled players for decades, but one thing’s for sure – it’s probably something sexual. The item can be found in Toadstool’s room in the Mushroom Castle between a blue chair and the fireplace. Once found, the game simply states, “Found Toadstool’s ???” shrouding the item in mystery. However, it’s clearly something very private, because either Grandma or Toadstool herself will scold Mario for snooping around and finding the private item. Theories of what the item could be range from a sex toy or a piece of lingerie. Either way, it is something that was not meant to be found. You snoop.
Way Too Many to Count
“Banjo-Kazooie” series (1998-2008)
If there’s one thing we miss about the “Banjo-Kazooie” series, it’s the countless, and hilarious, sexual innuendos. We’ll give you a quick rundown of the best ones. In Gobi’s Valley, Kazooie asks Trunker how his “nuts” are right after Trunker says that he’s “shriveling up.” A piglet in Jolly Roger’s Lagoon says that it’s growing a third leg. A formation in Terrydactyland looks suspiciously like a penis pointing towards an anus. But perhaps the most famous location is Jolly’s tavern. This is clearly a gay bar, evident by their famous Grab-A-Sailor nights, tankards of Seaman’s Brew, and menu consisting of salty dumplings, toad in the hole, and Seaman’s Surprise. And honestly, that’s just a taste. You could fill a book with the amount of innuendos Rare slyly squeezed into these games.
“Protection”
“Pokémon X & Y” (2013)
Oh yeah, the Butler knows what’s up. One scene in “Pokémon X and Y” sees you watching fireworks on the balcony of Parfum Palace with Shauna, and Shauna is…excited, to say the least. Maybe in more ways than one. She first says that she’s never watched fireworks with a boy before, then states that she never wants to forget this moment. You could damn-near cut the sexual tension with a knife. Mr. Butler then shows up and gives the player a little gift – TM17 Protect. The player then puts the “protection” in his pocket for later, and the Butler even says that its usefulness decreases with repeated use. We don’t know why the old butler has condoms laying around, but hey, it was certainly nice of him to notice the chemistry.
“If I Could Only Find Someone Who Was Good at Plowing…”
“The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword” (2011)
In “Skyward Sword,” there’s a character named Kina who works at the Lumpy Pumpkin. When she’s not entertaining customers with her singing, she’s working the pumpkin fields behind the pub. After completing the Fire Sanctuary, Kina will tell Link that the field needs plowing so they can plant the seeds. There’s just one problem - plowing is hard work, and Kina’s not up for that crap. Now if she could only find someone who was good at plowing! Now, at this point, Link and Kina are no strangers – he’s helped her pick and transport pumpkins, and he’s even performed with her on stage. Maybe she’s grown close to Link and wants him plowing the pumpkin patch with his Skyward Sword, if you get our meaning.
Inking the Splat Zone
“Splatoon 2” (2017)
Yeah, so, Marina is a bit of a pervert. In one instance, while explaining how much she dislikes mayonnaise, Marina says, “That disgusting mouthfeel…I’d rather lick Crusty Sean’s grease trap!”, which, you know, is pretty explicit for a Nintendo game! Like, that’s not even innuendo. That’s just a straight-up sexual comment. Things get slightly more subtle with the phrase, “With invisibility, you could spy on people while they’re…inking their Splat Zone.” And again, this was definitely intentional. Not only is the wording highly suspicious, but Nintendo used an ellipsis for humorous effect. They knew what they were doing.
Raising the Game’s Age Rating
“Paper Mario: Color Splash” (2016)
In “Paper Mario: Color Splash,” Mario is thrown in jail by a Snifit. While peering through the bars at his captor, the Snifit says, “Well, I’ve already locked you in jail. There isn’t actually much worse I can do without raising this game’s age rating.” It’s a clever little bit of meta-humor, and it proves that Nintendo isn’t above prison rape jokes. Some innuendos are cute and relatively innocent, like plowing the pumpkin patch. Some are little…darker, like a Snifit raping Mario. To be honest, we’re a little surprised that this one was given the okay. Just imagine a child asking their parents what the Snifit meant by that.
The Whole Conversation Between Tibarn & Nailah
“Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn” (2007)
There’s a conversation between Tibarn and Nailah in “Radiant Dawn” that is absolutely littered with sexual innuendos. It starts with Nailah saying that she’s wanted “this” (meaning a fight) for a long time and that she can barely hold herself back. Tibarn responds by saying they can have a “nice, private time,” just him and her. OK, OK, thinly-veiled sexual tension, that’s nothing new. But then things get serious when Tibarn “offers his head” to Nailah and says that she’ll have to “bring [him] down to the ground first.” The conversation finally concludes with Nailah asking Tibarn to refrain from telling Rafiel about their engagement because he “wouldn’t understand [their] urges.” So, yeah, the fight was just a metaphor for them gettin’ it on, right?
The Vibe Scepter
“Super Princess Peach” (2006)
If you want to talk thinly-veiled metaphors for sex, let us introduce you to The Vibe Scepter. God, it just sounds dirty. The entire ending to the DS game “Super Princess Peach” is about dildos and female masturbation. No, we’re not joking, and we’re not stretching, either. It’s QUITE obvious. To start, the Scepter appears quite phallic, and the game says that “somewhere, someone might possibly be using it right now.” The game then takes a really weird detour into left field by suggesting that the player’s mother has recently been using the Vibe Scepter and that it’s “hidden away in [their] house somewhere.” And you thought Nintendo was innocent. And, yes, it was someone’s job to write a masturbation joke aimed at a young child and their mother…
A Different Kind of Business
“The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” (1998)
Nintendo was really piling it on for “Ocarina of Time,” weren’t they? Once Ganondorf takes over Hyrule, Link can approach a creepy Poe Collector who buys and sells Poe souls. The Poe Collector seems infatuated with Link and his beauty, and he even says, “If I looked as good as you, I could run a different kind of business.” So, there you go – a blatant prostitution joke in a Zelda game! While the pedophile innuendo was likely unintentional, this joke seems 100% deliberate, and really, we have to tip our hats to Nintendo. We didn’t think they would have the guts to put such a blatantly-crude joke in their flagship title.
Found Toadstool’s ???
“uper Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars” (1996)
Just what is Princess Toadstool hiding in her room? The question has baffled players for decades, but one thing’s for sure – it’s probably something sexual. The item can be found in Toadstool’s room in the Mushroom Castle between a blue chair and the fireplace. Once found, the game simply states, “Found Toadstool’s ???” shrouding the item in mystery. However, it’s clearly something very private, because either Grandma or Toadstool herself will scold Mario for snooping around and finding the private item. Theories of what the item could be range from a sex toy or a piece of lingerie. Either way, it is something that was not meant to be found. You snoop.
Way Too Many to Count
“Banjo-Kazooie” series (1998-2008)
If there’s one thing we miss about the “Banjo-Kazooie” series, it’s the countless, and hilarious, sexual innuendos. We’ll give you a quick rundown of the best ones. In Gobi’s Valley, Kazooie asks Trunker how his “nuts” are right after Trunker says that he’s “shriveling up.” A piglet in Jolly Roger’s Lagoon says that it’s growing a third leg. A formation in Terrydactyland looks suspiciously like a penis pointing towards an anus. But perhaps the most famous location is Jolly’s tavern. This is clearly a gay bar, evident by their famous Grab-A-Sailor nights, tankards of Seaman’s Brew, and menu consisting of salty dumplings, toad in the hole, and Seaman’s Surprise. And honestly, that’s just a taste. You could fill a book with the amount of innuendos Rare slyly squeezed into these games.
