The 10 BEST Yakuza Side Quests
I, Hiji
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“Yakuza 6: The Song of Life” (2018) One topic we never thought we’d cross in something like “Yakuza” was the subject of succumbing to our robot overlords. The substory “I, Hiji” touches upon this by introducing a smartphone AI named Hiji who attempts to manipulate Kiryu throughout. The whole substory gets crazy as Hiji starts trying to control its users just to prevent Kiryu from uninstalling it. Overall, it’s a surprising reflection on how dependent the modern world has become on AI and how life is slowly being controlled by stats and algorithms.
Disciple of the New Order
“Yakuza 0” (2015) Cults are a dangerous thing. They can try to force you into brainwashing yourself, push away loved ones, and trick you into funding their malicious causes. That’s precisely what happened with a young lady in the “Disciple of the New Order” substory. An old woman asks Majima to investigate a mysterious cult in order to get her daughter to return home. What he finds is a bogus organization that has told its followers to chant “shooreh pippi” to find their path of enlightenment. It gets creepy and weird fast, but you can’t help laughing at the ridiculousness on display. We’re just glad it managed to end on a happy note.
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“Yakuza: Like a Dragon” (2020) This three-part series of substories involves a few wild animals owned by Ringmaster Yasuda. In each substory, Yasuda loses control of the show in some embarrassing way, and Ichiban will have to subdue each of them to get them recaged. Across these substories, you’ll fight a big bear, a vicious tiger, and a chimpanzee operating an excavator. Strange choices for combat encounters, yes, but we honestly wouldn’t expect anything less from “Yakuza”. Besides, what better way to make Ichiban look just as badass as Kiryu and Majima?
Be My Baby
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“Yakuza 2” & “Yakuza Kiwami 2” (2018) Fair warning - this substory will make you laugh AND uncomfortable at the same time…maybe. After taking down yet another group of thugs, Kiryu meets their boss, Susumu Gondawara, and is invited to his “favorite club”. Catch is that this isn’t the kind of “club” one would usually think of with beating music, scantily-clad ladies, and a bar. Turns out this “club” is nothing more than a nursery room where grown men can behave like babies. What follows is perhaps the most bizarrely hilarious fight in the entire franchise. So, of course, they had to repeat it in “Like a Dragon”!
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“Yakuza 6: The Song of Life” (2018) Technology is a recurring topic in “Yakuza 6”, and once again, the series offers some insightful commentary here. A young man stops Kiryu to ask him a question about yakuza life so his view count can go “through the roof”. The guy puts himself in all kinds of turmoil, believing if he were to upload a video of it, he’d become a viral sensation. The whole substory kind of reflects how the modern world has become - obsessed with being a part of the conversation all the time, setting trends, going viral, and the like. Depressing? Yes, but serving up the can of whoopass was a riot!
Crisis on the Crapper
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“Yakuza Kiwami” (2017) The “Kiwami” remakes came with some amusing additions like extra substories to explore. One situation we didn’t expect to find ourselves in was helping a man stuck in the bathroom. Kiryu hears a distressed voice from a nearby bathroom. Poor soul walked into a stall with no toilet paper. We won’t get into the graphic details, but you do end up handing over several rolls of tissue paper. And the situation doesn’t get much better for a while. This is why we play video games, right? To help NPCs with their number two problems? No? Just me? …Okay.
Man with a Stranger’s Face
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“Yakuza 0” (2015) Even though the “Yakuza” games get surreal most of the time, they do have heart in some of their other substories. Take the tragic “Man with a Stranger’s Face”, for example. Majima notices a weird man watching a mom and her son from afar. Thing is, this guy is no stranger. He’s actually the son’s father and the mom’s husband. Sadly, he got involved in yakuza affairs and was forced to rearrange his face in order to protect them. What follows is an incredibly bittersweet story that only “Yakuza” could tell.
Dragon Kart
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“Yakuza: Like a Dragon” (2020) Though it doesn’t happen often, the “Yakuza” games like to shoutout other gaming franchises from time to time, especially “Like a Dragon”. While “Who’s That Sujimon” was a funny reference to a certain pocket monster franchise, but we can’t ignore the epic “Dragon Kart”! (Yeah, it’s more of a minigame, but there are a couple of substories attached. It counts!) An obvious homage to “Mario Kart”, Dragon Kart boasts its own fun with power-ups and oddball characters to race against. Honestly, when can we get a full “Yakuza” game of just this?
Murder at Cafe Alps
“Yakuza 3” (2010) “Yakuza 3” features plenty of its own unique substories. And yet the very best one occurs much later into the game. Murder at Cafe Alps sees Kiryu getting entangled in a murder mystery and having to gather up clues across Kamurocho. It is by far one of the longest substories in the franchise, but as you uncover more and more evidence, it’s hard to simply abandon it. If you want to get to the bottom of it, you’ll have to balance out playing the main story and progressing in the mystery.
How To Train Your Dominatrix
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“Yakuza 0” (2015) When it comes to talking about “Yakuza” substories, How to Train Your Dominatrix almost always gets into the conversation. A young woman has recently taken a job as a dominatrix, but her personality isn’t anything like one. Kiryu will have to teach her the ways of proper (and respectfully disrespectful dominance) to build up her confidence. And what better way to conduct this than in the middle of a very public setting like a park? How to Train Your Dominatrix is the most hilarious substory of the “Yakuza” games, and even underneath the absurdity, there’s still a ton of heart at the very center.
