10 Times Resident Evil Made Us Roll Our Eyes
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VOICE OVER: Mathew Arter
WRITTEN BY: Mathew Arter
Whether it's a corny piece of dialogue, or a moment that made absolutely no sense, "Resident Evil" has featured many eye-rolling moments. For this list, we'll be looking at all those times our screens overflowed with cheese and made us all collectively cringe. Our list includes Barry's One-Liners, Joe Balboa, Chris' Face Turn, The Volcano Battle, and more!
Script written by Mathew Arter
Welcome to MojoPlays, and today we are taking a look at 10 Times Resident Evil Made Us Roll Our Eyes. For this list, we’ll be looking at all those times our screens overflowed with cheese. Whether it’s a corny piece of dialogue, or a moment that made absolutely no sense, as long as it made us all collectively cringe, then we’re gonna talk about it. Did we miss any of your favorites? We’re not surprised, there are a lot of them, but let us know in the comments below.
Bursting onto the scene in 1996, Resident Evil was a game changer for the horror genre. But before people had the opportunity to jump into the gameplay, they had to sit through the live action intro to the game. Assuming the developers wanted to add a sense of realism, the live action made sense. The budget however didn’t accommodate live action sequences that didn’t look and feel worse than a ‘90s Power Rangers episode. Complete with corny acting, below average cinematography, and the hilariously over the top character introductions, this intro is very hard to watch 25 years later.
Spoiler warning for Resident Evil Village here. At the beginning of the game, Chris Redfield makes his big bad boy entrance by killing Ethan’s wife Mia, forcefully capturing Ethan and kidnapping their daughter Rose. It’s not till way later in the game that it’s revealed Mia wasn’t Mia, Chris was only trying to protect Rose, and that Ethan is a civilian blah blah blah blah WHAT THE HELL, CHRIS?! Couldn’t have picked up the phone and maybe filled us in a little you big idiot? The big face turn at the end where it turns out Chris isn’t the villain, feels like a forced plot twist that makes a lot of the decisions that happened earlier in the game seem less like the intended “woah, it all makes sense now”, and more like “are you on drugs you big armed doopy?”
STOP EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING! Leon needs to deliver some dialogue. At the beginning of Resident Evil 4, the player has the opportunity to help a dog that is caught in a bear trap. After freeing the dog, it runs off, never to be seen again … Or so we thought! During the fight with El Gigante (and assuming you saved the dog) he will appear after an epic howl is heard. He stands silhouetted by moonlight and thunder to make his epic entrance, while El Gigante just stands quietly to the side to let him have his moment. If this over the top moment wasn’t eye rolley enough, Leon tops it off with the infamous line “Hey, it’s that dog”, just to make it super clear to the player that this dog with the bloody leg is the same dog from before, and not to be confused with all the other dogs in the game… all zero of them.
The criminally underrated DLC’s for Resident Evil 7 included an epic journey back through the Bakers’ property titled “End of Zoe”. The player takes control of Jack Baker’s brother Joe, as he tries to save his niece Zoe who is now in a sort of calcified coma. Instead of using the endless arsenal of weaponry that Ethan needed to take on these mold mutants, Joe does the unthinkable and rolls up his sleeves, blows on his knuckles, and takes them barefisted - I’m talking street rules, baby! If it wasn’t eye rolley enough for someone to beat a mold mutant with their bare hands, he also takes on his brother Jack, the same brother who Ethan could barely do damage to with a grenade launcher.
Resident Evil is known for a couple things. Good engaging horror? Sure. A gameplay style that changes with the times? Definitely. Cheesy, badly delivered dialogue? You know it. The newer games have their own collection of offenders, but classic Resident Evil features an endless source of hilariously eye roll inducing acting. At the beginning of Resident Evil 2, after the truck driver is bitten, he hilariously exclaims to himself “That guy’s a maniac. Why’d he bite me?” The line itself is cringey enough, but the delivery is what really brings it home.
Sometimes you set up a world in a video game, create a tone, and then someone comes in and spills their milk all over it. Salazar is that milk spiller. Widely disliked and corny as all hell, Salazar is reminiscent of Emperor Pilaf from Dragon Ball, but placed into the wrong universe. This tiny Napoleon seems to be trying to strike fear into the player, but always comes off as laughable and over the top. Even at his scariest, when he is absorbed into the tentacle monster for his big bad boss fight, he is still the weak part of the monster.
Resident Evil has a great way of grounding itself in terrifying and tight horror at the beginnings of their games, and then unraveling like an old knitted sweater until they become a parody of a Jason Bourne film. Resident Evil 5 ends in an epic battle with the ALREADY hilariously over the top and constantly returning villain of Albert Wesker. Wesker has run out of epic battle areas, so he decides to do this one inside an active volcano. The battle includes a villain who realistically should just walk up to our protagonists and squish their heads, a beefcake Chris Redfield who LITERALLY punches boulders to move them, and a final killing blow of not one but TWO RPGs.
Before you say it - we are aware that Ethan’s healing abilities are explained later in the game, but that doesn’t stop us from rolling our eyes at the events around his crazy healing abilities. The idea that this decision was made retroactively following Resident Evil 7’s release, as opposed to always being intended, has been a point of contention with fans. But, let’s pretend for a moment that the actual act of him reattaching his limbs is fine because that was always the writer's plan. Why doesn’t Ethan lose his mind every time he does it? What makes him so cool with gluing his hand on with health fluid? Why does he not bring this up at every dinner party? Also, why do his clothes get fixed after his arm is removed? Are we to assume that his entire wardrobe is mold? My eyes can’t roll any further back, it’s starting to hurt.
There was absolutely no way we could do this list without mentioning the epic one liners of fan favorite Barry Burton, as a good chunk of the cheesiest dialogue comes straight from this man himself. After giving Jill a lockpick, he wants to make it as clear as possible to the player that Jill is the right person for this tool by explaining “it might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.” This line is nodded to in Revelations 2 when Barry smashes a gate open and says “Who’s the master of unlocking now?” …Who are you talking to, Barry? One of the more underappreciated lines is when Barry finds the body of Forest Speyer. With the body being obscured, it looks like Barry is surprised by the woods when he explains “It’s Forest, oh my god.” And who can forget the classic, the much loved “You were almost a Jill sandwich!”
Unanimously considered the worst game in the series, RE6 has so many eye-rolling moments that we’ve decided to make it its own entry. The over the top action sequences are really prevalent in this one, the standouts being the Michael Bay-like highway sequence, and the jet gameplay. Not only is the jet gameplay so badly designed it feels like you’re holding the controller with your feet, but the whole scene has no place in a Resident Evil game. One of the laziest designs for a villain appeared in this game with T-Rex Simmons, a villain who transformed (as they so often do) into a T-Rex. Let’s be clear, not an actual T-Rex, just a mutant equivalent, but it’s not like he was super into dinosaurs or anything? There was no reason for this type of mutation except “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if…” Also, let’s not forget the clones. Why did the game have clones? Why did Simmons want a clone of Ada? …Of course, we all know why, but it’s gross and weird and it doesn’t get fleshed out in the story enough to justify its existence in the game. Resident Evil 6 made my eyes do a 360, and now I have to go to the hospital.
Welcome to MojoPlays, and today we are taking a look at 10 Times Resident Evil Made Us Roll Our Eyes. For this list, we’ll be looking at all those times our screens overflowed with cheese. Whether it’s a corny piece of dialogue, or a moment that made absolutely no sense, as long as it made us all collectively cringe, then we’re gonna talk about it. Did we miss any of your favorites? We’re not surprised, there are a lot of them, but let us know in the comments below.
Live Action Intro
Bursting onto the scene in 1996, Resident Evil was a game changer for the horror genre. But before people had the opportunity to jump into the gameplay, they had to sit through the live action intro to the game. Assuming the developers wanted to add a sense of realism, the live action made sense. The budget however didn’t accommodate live action sequences that didn’t look and feel worse than a ‘90s Power Rangers episode. Complete with corny acting, below average cinematography, and the hilariously over the top character introductions, this intro is very hard to watch 25 years later.
Chris’ Face Turn
Spoiler warning for Resident Evil Village here. At the beginning of the game, Chris Redfield makes his big bad boy entrance by killing Ethan’s wife Mia, forcefully capturing Ethan and kidnapping their daughter Rose. It’s not till way later in the game that it’s revealed Mia wasn’t Mia, Chris was only trying to protect Rose, and that Ethan is a civilian blah blah blah blah WHAT THE HELL, CHRIS?! Couldn’t have picked up the phone and maybe filled us in a little you big idiot? The big face turn at the end where it turns out Chris isn’t the villain, feels like a forced plot twist that makes a lot of the decisions that happened earlier in the game seem less like the intended “woah, it all makes sense now”, and more like “are you on drugs you big armed doopy?”
Hey, it’s that dog
STOP EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING! Leon needs to deliver some dialogue. At the beginning of Resident Evil 4, the player has the opportunity to help a dog that is caught in a bear trap. After freeing the dog, it runs off, never to be seen again … Or so we thought! During the fight with El Gigante (and assuming you saved the dog) he will appear after an epic howl is heard. He stands silhouetted by moonlight and thunder to make his epic entrance, while El Gigante just stands quietly to the side to let him have his moment. If this over the top moment wasn’t eye rolley enough, Leon tops it off with the infamous line “Hey, it’s that dog”, just to make it super clear to the player that this dog with the bloody leg is the same dog from before, and not to be confused with all the other dogs in the game… all zero of them.
Joe Balboa
The criminally underrated DLC’s for Resident Evil 7 included an epic journey back through the Bakers’ property titled “End of Zoe”. The player takes control of Jack Baker’s brother Joe, as he tries to save his niece Zoe who is now in a sort of calcified coma. Instead of using the endless arsenal of weaponry that Ethan needed to take on these mold mutants, Joe does the unthinkable and rolls up his sleeves, blows on his knuckles, and takes them barefisted - I’m talking street rules, baby! If it wasn’t eye rolley enough for someone to beat a mold mutant with their bare hands, he also takes on his brother Jack, the same brother who Ethan could barely do damage to with a grenade launcher.
Why’d he bite me?
Resident Evil is known for a couple things. Good engaging horror? Sure. A gameplay style that changes with the times? Definitely. Cheesy, badly delivered dialogue? You know it. The newer games have their own collection of offenders, but classic Resident Evil features an endless source of hilariously eye roll inducing acting. At the beginning of Resident Evil 2, after the truck driver is bitten, he hilariously exclaims to himself “That guy’s a maniac. Why’d he bite me?” The line itself is cringey enough, but the delivery is what really brings it home.
Salazar
Sometimes you set up a world in a video game, create a tone, and then someone comes in and spills their milk all over it. Salazar is that milk spiller. Widely disliked and corny as all hell, Salazar is reminiscent of Emperor Pilaf from Dragon Ball, but placed into the wrong universe. This tiny Napoleon seems to be trying to strike fear into the player, but always comes off as laughable and over the top. Even at his scariest, when he is absorbed into the tentacle monster for his big bad boss fight, he is still the weak part of the monster.
The Volcano Battle
Resident Evil has a great way of grounding itself in terrifying and tight horror at the beginnings of their games, and then unraveling like an old knitted sweater until they become a parody of a Jason Bourne film. Resident Evil 5 ends in an epic battle with the ALREADY hilariously over the top and constantly returning villain of Albert Wesker. Wesker has run out of epic battle areas, so he decides to do this one inside an active volcano. The battle includes a villain who realistically should just walk up to our protagonists and squish their heads, a beefcake Chris Redfield who LITERALLY punches boulders to move them, and a final killing blow of not one but TWO RPGs.
Ethan’s Hand
Before you say it - we are aware that Ethan’s healing abilities are explained later in the game, but that doesn’t stop us from rolling our eyes at the events around his crazy healing abilities. The idea that this decision was made retroactively following Resident Evil 7’s release, as opposed to always being intended, has been a point of contention with fans. But, let’s pretend for a moment that the actual act of him reattaching his limbs is fine because that was always the writer's plan. Why doesn’t Ethan lose his mind every time he does it? What makes him so cool with gluing his hand on with health fluid? Why does he not bring this up at every dinner party? Also, why do his clothes get fixed after his arm is removed? Are we to assume that his entire wardrobe is mold? My eyes can’t roll any further back, it’s starting to hurt.
Barry’s one liners
There was absolutely no way we could do this list without mentioning the epic one liners of fan favorite Barry Burton, as a good chunk of the cheesiest dialogue comes straight from this man himself. After giving Jill a lockpick, he wants to make it as clear as possible to the player that Jill is the right person for this tool by explaining “it might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.” This line is nodded to in Revelations 2 when Barry smashes a gate open and says “Who’s the master of unlocking now?” …Who are you talking to, Barry? One of the more underappreciated lines is when Barry finds the body of Forest Speyer. With the body being obscured, it looks like Barry is surprised by the woods when he explains “It’s Forest, oh my god.” And who can forget the classic, the much loved “You were almost a Jill sandwich!”
Resident Evil 6
Unanimously considered the worst game in the series, RE6 has so many eye-rolling moments that we’ve decided to make it its own entry. The over the top action sequences are really prevalent in this one, the standouts being the Michael Bay-like highway sequence, and the jet gameplay. Not only is the jet gameplay so badly designed it feels like you’re holding the controller with your feet, but the whole scene has no place in a Resident Evil game. One of the laziest designs for a villain appeared in this game with T-Rex Simmons, a villain who transformed (as they so often do) into a T-Rex. Let’s be clear, not an actual T-Rex, just a mutant equivalent, but it’s not like he was super into dinosaurs or anything? There was no reason for this type of mutation except “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if…” Also, let’s not forget the clones. Why did the game have clones? Why did Simmons want a clone of Ada? …Of course, we all know why, but it’s gross and weird and it doesn’t get fleshed out in the story enough to justify its existence in the game. Resident Evil 6 made my eyes do a 360, and now I have to go to the hospital.
