Top 10 Badly Designed Disney Toys
#9: Sing-a-Ma-Jig Minnie Mouse
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Oh, Minnie Mouse, you didn’t deserve this. The Sing-a-Ma-Jig Minnie Mouse is meant to be a simple plush toy that sings and talks. However, with a mouth like that and the strange movements when she sings, it looks a little creepy. But it also comes off looking more like a bizarre and sad adult sex toy, specifically one a bizarre and sad lonely man would own. Disney, is there something you’re trying to tell us? Because if so, please don’t tell us this way. It’s just plain wrong.
#8: Olaf Snow Cone Maker
Olaf is a snowman. Snowmen are naturally made of snow. It's sort of what they're known for. So why on earth would Olaf want to serve snow to small children to eat? That is a dark thought in and of itself. But worse yet: why would he want to serve snow from his own body? Did Disney think this was somehow cute? We all know Olaf is very sweet and extremely giving, but we don’t think he would be this giving. Maybe Elsa can just rebuild him; she has built him more than once after all.
#7: Buzz Lightyear Sippy Cup
Was this product actually made for small children? Or do we all just have very dirty minds and this is perfectly acceptable? If the placement of this straw doesn’t creep you out enough, the expression on Buzz’s face certainly will. Just look at how smug he is. He knows you like what you see; like he knows you're not backing away from this party without caving into temptation. The raised visor and crossed arms say all that remains. “To infinity and beyond,” might take on a totally different meaning here.
#6: Donald Duck Supermarket Ride
We all begged our parents for a quarter to ride one of these supermarket rides as kids. They're simple fun and can easily keep a kid entertained for a few minutes. However, when Disney threw this ride into grocery stores, they might have wanted to think it through a little more. Donald Duck with his bill and eyeline between a child’s legs is just plain wrong. Perhaps they were trying to make it look like Donald was kicking back and relaxing, but having people climb onto his back would have been a little less awkward. Although maybe we shouldn't assume...
#5: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Microphone
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This toy seems innocent enough. It’s only a microphone, after all. Into it, a child is supposed to sing along with any number of songs from “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.” The only problem is that microphones are naturally phallic shaped. As such, having a young kid put such a shape – especially one so bulbous and girthy – so close to their mouths as they sing could be an uncomfortable sight for some parents. Honestly, it’s kinda hard to disagree. But it also could be that we just aren’t as innocent as a playful child.
#4: Wishes & Dreams Soft Potty Seat
This isn’t exactly a toy, and it isn’t particularly inappropriate at first glance. After all, every kid needs to be potty trained. Why not do it with their favorite Disney princesses? This is a perfect way to incorporate something they love into something that they might be nervous or embarrassed about. However – and this is just a thought - we don’t think those princesses really appreciate bare butts on their pretty faces. We’re not exactly sure how we would redesign this product, but doesn’t that seem a little awkward to you too?
#3: Rafiki and Simba Toy
Who could forget the magic and majesty associated with the opening scene of “The Lion King”? Especially that beautiful moment where the old adviser baboon, Rafiki, lifts the new cub, Simba, above his head, displaying him to his kingdom for the first time? Well, this tiny toy was meant to mimic that moment, so that kids could relive it over and over again. Unfortunately, because toy Rafiki’s arms never quite make it above his head, it seems like the toy wanted to relive a different moment instead; one that thankfully never made it to the movie.
#2: Rad Repeatin' Tarzan
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Who doesn’t love Tarzan? He’s kind to every creature he knows, he’s funny, and he’s protective of those he loves. He’s also strong, very good at maneuvering through the jungle vines, and he has a signature yell that can be heard for miles around. Having a Tarzan toy would make you the coolest kid on the block. But not this one. Everything about this action figure seems all good, until you push the button on the back. There’s the call of Tarzan, of course, but what on earth is he doing with his hand? That yell won’t sound right ever again after seeing this.
#1: Hannah Montana Concert Candy
Okay, so maybe you've accepted that microphones, by default, have a certain... aesthetic to them, but these gummies definitely look like wangers, right? These sweet and sour gummy candies are supposed to be shaped like microphones and guitars, but you don’t even have to squint to see why watching a child pop these into his or her mouth would make any adult uncomfortable. And that particular color isn't helping matters much. What's the last time you've seen a raw-chicken colored veiny guitar? Sometimes, Disney, we really worry about you.
