Top 10 Biggest Horror Movie Idiots
#10: Mark
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“Midsommar” (2019) This folk horror flick is filled with quite a few unlikable characters, which certainly says something about the qualities of Mark. Regarded as the resident douchebag of the group, Mark is the prototypical frat bro horror victim who constantly thinks about sex and gets the group into trouble through their stupid actions. For example, he foolishly urinates on the commune’s ancestral tree - an act that elicits both incredible anger from the commune and in his eventual off-screen death. He also has a complete lack of empathy towards Dani and treats her poorly, often straight up ignoring her very presence. That is, when he’s not actively voicing his hatred of her.
#9: Harry Cooper
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“Night of the Living Dead” (1968) Some of Harry’s douchebaggery can be excused through his stress, as his young daughter Karen was seriously ill from a zombie bite. But his wildly confrontational personality still makes him difficult to root for. Harry can prove both annoyingly demanding and bossy. But most of Harry’s unlikable behavior comes through in his cowardice. Harry is always looking out for number one, and it results in him both refusing to open the door for Ben and later attempting to steal his gun. The latter act proves the last straw for Ben, as he shoots Harry in response. That said, he was right about the cellar...
#8: Jeff
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“Cabin Fever” (2002) Co-written and directed by Eli Roth, “Cabin Fever” is a grotesque little B-movie about a nasty flesh-eating skin disease that infects the inhabitants of a remote cabin. After realizing that something is amiss, Jeff takes all the beer and bails on his friends, deciding instead to live by himself in the woods. He even abandons his scared girlfriend Marcy, who is left shaken and lonely over his complete abandonment. And while Jeff’s selfish behavior did save his life, he is ultimately killed by the police when he’s at his most reprehensible - while joyously celebrating his survival amidst the bodies of his friends. Needless to say, Jeff does not feel any semblance of survivor’s guilt.
#7: Gerald Hopkins
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“Gremlins” (1984) Played wonderfully by Judge Reinhold, Gerald Hopkins is the rival of Billy and a fellow employee at Kingston Falls Bank. Gerald is quite a selfish individual, and he’s certainly not above irritating brown-nosing and pettiness. He can be seen verbally pushing Billy around at Dorry’s Tavern, making mean and scornful comments while proudly claiming that he would have had Billy fired if he ran the bank. In a deleted scene, Gerald can even be seen apparently losing his mind and locking himself inside the bank vault. As it is, “Gremlins” doesn’t show much of Gerald, and fans aren’t shown this, but we’re still given enough to get the gist of his personality anyway.
#6: Judy
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“Sleepaway Camp” (1983) Released at the height of the slasher craze, “Sleepaway Camp” is essentially just another “Friday the 13th” with a massive twist ending. At the heart of the story is the deeply reserved Angela, who is sent to Camp Arawak during the summer. While there, she is fiercely ridiculed by her bunkmate, Judy. Later in the movie, Judy knowingly seduces Angela’s love interest and proceeds to throw Angela in the lake after she discovers them together. The bossy girl stereotype is widely prevalent throughout the horror genre, but no other character imbues the archetype quite as maliciously or as memorably as Judy.
#5: Captain Henry Rhodes
Interview with Sid Haig a.k.a. Captain Spaulding
“Day of the Dead” (1985) George A. Romero really had a penchant for writing unlikable, douchey characters. No one really comes out of “Day of the Dead” looking good, but the worst of them all is Captain Henry Rhodes. Rhodes leads the military group, which also consists of the almost-as-unlikable Steel and Rickles. Rhodes is an incredibly difficult man from the start, as he bosses everyone around and either screams at the top of his lungs or threatens to kill people whenever things don’t go his way. But as unhinged as Rhodes is at the start, he grows ever more unstable throughout the film, eventually culminating in the first-degree murders of Logan and Fisher. He’s one of those horror movie characters with absolutely zero redeeming qualities.
#4: Carter J. Burke
“Aliens” (1986) It takes a special kind of douchebag to impregnate a child with an alien. Burke is that special kind of douchebag. Throughout much of “Aliens,” Burke is actually depicted as a pretty decent guy. While he obviously doesn’t fit in with the gung-ho soldiers and may come across as a little too “corporate”, he remains a likable enough man. That is, until Ripley figures out that Burke was trying to snag some alien specimens to sell as biological weapons. But that’s not all: Burke then tries impregnating both Ripley and Newt with alien life via some facehuggers that he releases into the medical lab. You know someone is really scummy when they come across worse than the aliens...
#3: Mayor Larry Vaughn
“Jaws” (1975) If there’s one thing Mayor Vaughn loves more than cute sea-themed suits, it’s tourist money. Unfortunately, said tourist money comes at the expense of common sense, safety, and lives. Despite being told numerous times to close the beaches, Vaughn decides to keep them open so as not to dissuade the wealthy Fourth of July tourists. He remains annoyingly stubborn throughout much of the movie, and when the Fourth of July eventually rolls around, a boater is killed by the shark and police chief Martin Brody’s son goes into shock. At least he finally learns the error of his ways and decides to hire shark fisherman, Quint - an act that would eventually lead to the destruction of the great white.
#2: Chris Hargensen & Billy Nolan
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“Carrie” (1976) Carrie White enacts the horrible rampage at the end of this film, but it’s Chris and Billy who instigate it. Chris is nothing but a spoiled and manipulative teen with zero redeeming qualities, and Billy is her equally malicious boyfriend. When Chris is banned from prom due to her bad behavior, she decides to get revenge by slaughtering pigs, draining their blood, and then dumping said blood all over Carrie at prom. It’s this infamous event that instigates the prom incident, resulting in dozens of innocent deaths. Carrie is technically the villain of this story, but Chris and Billy do all they can to match her psychotic tendencies.
#1: Steve Marcus
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“Dawn of the Dead” (2004) Most people know Ty Burrell as the lovable goofball dad from “Modern Family.” But years before that, he played one of the biggest douchebags in horror movie history. Steve arrives with a large group of survivors and instantly makes himself a villain with his snide, heartless, and smart-alecky attitude. His constant whining and cold, antagonistic personality certainly don’t help matters. Late in the movie, Steve nearly dooms the survivors by abandoning his guard duty and trapping them all inside a zombie-filled staircase. In the end, Ana fulfills Steve’s wish by shooting him in the head - and she looks quite pleased with herself in the process.
