Top 10 Brutal Malcolm Tucker Insults

Amidst a cabinet reshuffle, Malcolm’s on the phone trying to find a new Secretary of State. And this entry is unique because it’s possibly the only time Malcolm may have accidentally insulted someone, by casually dropping death and abortion into conversation. It perfectly encapsulates his complete lack of empathy and restraint.

Malcolm and Cliff Lawton go way back… To the very first episode, in fact, when Malcolm was integral to Cliff’s resignation. So, when they cross paths in the Press Office during the 2007 special, “Spinners and Losers”, there’s quite a bit of tension. But Malcolm’s not interested in catching up, and he cuts the ice with this savage remark.

First impressions are always important, and Malcolm’s is naturally outrageous. Sticking with the first episode, and with the Cliff Lawton confrontation, and Lawton’s visibly shaken as he prepares to meet Tucker. So, when one of the first lines we hear from Malcolm is him describing someone as a sugary strap-on, it instantly illustrates his rampant wit and notoriety.

Of course, many of Malcolm’s most memorable lines come as part of an almighty rant. And they’re often at Ollie’s expense. Following a disastrous loss of immigration data in her first week as Secretary of State, Nicola Murray tries to steady the ship by enlisting the help of Chris Addison’s character. Malcolm’s already incensed, but when he hears of Ollie’s involvement, he loses it completely.

Phil Smith’s in the firing line next, as Tucker tries to maintain a semblance of control. Ollie rounds on Smith first, but his attempts at authority are just a warm-up fight for Phil, who stands no chance once Malcolm gets involved. Launching into a long winded, anatomically-inspired threat, Tucker leaves his victim stunned into submission.

Featuring in another fantastically profane rant, Malcolm eviscerates Nicola, again following the immigration data loss. Putting an unexpected spin on the “bulldog chewing a wasp” expression, he has us imagine EastEnders legend June Brown in a particularly grim scenario. He’s got a unique way with words, that man.

For possibly the most famous exchange in “The Thick of It”, Nicola and Malcolm come to blows once more - following an unfortunate photo shoot. Nicola accuses Malcolm of sabotage, but the tables quickly turn when Tucker attacks. “Omnishambles” was eventually christened OED “Word of the Year” in 2012, as Malcolm’s influence broke new boundaries.

As has become blatantly apparent, Malcolm couldn’t care less who he offends, or how personally he offends them. Backbencher Ben Swain’s in the crosshairs here, and Tucker’s very unimpressed by his latest TV appearance. Cue a deluge of merciless insults, rounded off with some vicious inspiration from the deep blue sea.

A climactic scene for the series as a whole, and arguably Malcolm’s most epic rant, and Ollie’s on the receiving end once again. A changing of the guard appears imminent, but Tucker’s not about to idly stand by and watch it happen. So, he unleashes merry hell in Ollie’s direction, crushing the young upstart with every syllable he spits. There really is only one Malcolm Tucker - accept no imitations!

We’ve gone feature-length for top spot, with Malcolm Tucker’s big screen debut, “In the Loop”. After delivering critical, and fabricated, intel to the US Assistant Secretary of State, Capaldi’s character demands an apology for a previous slight. But, when he doesn’t get one, he slips into insult overdrive - delivering the most malicious swears he can muster. It’s Malcolm Tucker at his brutal best.