Top 10 Chick Flicks Men Hate

Let’s get things started with a Hugh Grant movie. While they’re all pretty painful to watch, this one casts Grant’s self-important, overblown stuttering idiot persona in the bad boy role. Beyond that, his love interest is Renée Zellweger, who plays the all too compelling role of a woman struggling with her weight, age job and confidence, while keeping a diary about her male fantasies. Sounds like fun right?

For a film that sounds like it has promise, it sure does have a lot of sappy moments and music! It’s story centers on a girl named “baby” falling in love with a frequently shirtless dance instructor played by Patrick Swayze. While there was potential for something compelling it unfortunately comes off as so hokey that it’s sickening. Please! Not another Patrick Swayze ass shot! It also features a surprising amount of 80s music for a film set in the 60s…

We get it, the characters feel strongly about…stuff. Do they really have to sing about it all the time? For the uninitiated, “Mamma Mia!” is basically ABBA music wrapped in fluff, masquerading as Shakespeare. At the center of its spectacle is a girl who doesn’t know who her biological father is, which concludes with the important moral that you shouldn’t settle for one father when you can have three loaded ones.

This romantic drama features a jerkoff jock that ends up falling for a terminally ill religious girl. Gut wrenchingly depressing, it’s also painfully formulaic, specifically aimed at tugging on your heartstrings while hammering in a few religious undertones for good measure. Although there’s nothing thematically wrong with the film, watching it is like pulling off a Band-Aid for an hour and a half.

Weddings, that’s always a winner. Here, a woman realizes that she loves her best friend, but it’s too late, he’s about to marry a gorgeous rich chick. Cue the shenanigans, because everybody knows that the best way to win somebody over is to sabotage his happiness. Ahh but see, it’s okay, because the person who really stands to get hurt is a ditzy blonde girl, so she obviously deserves it….bitch…

Apparently, the joys of being a middle-aged woman are best expressed by a film which depicts men as unintelligent, one-dimensional creatures that only desire sex. Aside from the brutal accuracy of that aspect, the film is a redundant fantasy that is about as complex and compelling as the cliff notes to an issue of Cosmo. And why the fuck doesn’t anybody ever ask Carrie what the hell she’s wearing?

Elaine from Seinfeld said it best, and she wasn’t even a dude! A tragic tale about a doomed romance between a field nurse and a horribly burned pilot with amnesia during WWII, its that special kind of chick flick celebrates adultery. Aiming to be the next Casablanca, the long, tedious flashbacks drag the film to torturously boring lengths. Rather than a “sweeping romantic epic”, it is actually just a surefire way to cure insomnia.

Heartthrob Channing Tatum stars in this depressing, clichéd and unwatchable movie…and we’re not even speaking about “G.I. Joe”! Attempting to capitalize on the notebook’s fanatic popularity, it drags through a checklist of clichés in a story about love, war and snail mail. ‘Cause, you know, email isn’t romantic; yah, we’re looking at you Tom Hanks...

Aside from the framing device with the old people (which, don’t lie, nobody really likes), you can basically describe the plot of the notebook by copying the plot of Lady and the Tramp and just substituting all the instances of the word “poodle” for “Ryan Gosling” and “The pound” for “WW2”. Aside from the totally believable parts of the film where Ryan Gosling gets rejected, we get to top the whole thing off with a crushing reminder that Alzheimer’s is technically still stronger than love.

Taking the top spot is the chick flick that takes werewolves and vampires, the two of coolest things around, and defangs them, making them all shirtless, sparkly and sappy. Overflowing with tortured teenage angst, cardboard characters and painfully awful acting, only a preteen-ee-ist of girl could enjoy a film that literally sucks this hard. As much as we guys secretly enjoy a bit of on screen romance, it’s gotta have soul right?

Agree with our list? As a guy, which chick flick is your greatest nightmare to be dragged to? For more entertaining Top 10s, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.