Top 10 Craziest Branded Snacks
#10: Grimace Shake
For such a simple character, Grimace has gone through a complex evolution. Before he was Ronald McDonald’s pal, Grimace debuted as a villain who stole shakes. Over 50 years after first arriving in McDonaldland, Grimace celebrated his birthday with his own shake. We guess this runs in the family, as his Uncle O’Grimacey promoted Shamrock Shakes in the 80s. Although Grimace Shakes came and went in June 2023, McDonald’s should bring the treat back for Halloween given all the horror-themed videos it inspired across TikTok. In a way, the Grimace Shake has brought the character full circle. He entered this world as the Evil Grimace. Now, he’s drowned a legion of unsuspecting followers in a river of purple liquid. Only Trump saw Grimace’s true colors…
#9: Haggis & Black Pepper Chips
It sounds like a joke that the “Simpsons” writing room cooked up for Groundskeeper Willie, but the good folks at Mackie’s of Scotland actually developed a chip flavor inspired by Haggis. Although the savory pudding is one of Scotland’s signature dishes, some people can’t get past the fundamental ingredient: sheep’s pluck. If you want to experience the taste of haggis without thinking too much about the internal organs, Haggis & Black Pepper Chips might be the ideal alternative. In addition to being made from naturally grown potatoes, the chips are 7% haggis and cracked black pepper seasoning. Despite the pork flavoring, the product has been deemed suitable for vegetarians and vegans. For foodies with a curious palate, it’s all that and a bag of haggis!
#8: Candy Cigarettes
From Joe Camel to Fred Flintstone, a lot of seemingly kid-friendly characters have worked their way into smoking ads. But hey, it’s not like they can sell cigarettes to kids… unless they’re in candy form. First hitting the scene in the late-1800s, these chalky treats are typically made from bubblegum and chocolate rather than tobacco. However, some believe that candy cigarettes can be a gateway to the real deal. Sometimes, the candy companies and tobacco companies even collaborated with a Brown & Williamson lawyer once saying, “Not too bad an advertisement.” Candy cigarettes have since been banned in several counties. The United States isn’t one of them, although it is illegal to label these candy sticks as cigarettes. We all know what they resemble, however.
#7: Urkel-Os Cereal
Steve Urkel invented a transformation chamber, a time machine, and an UrkPad that teleported the Winslows to Paris. Yet, Urkel’s strangest concoction would have to be his eponymous cereal, Urkel-Os. In reality, Urkel-Os were manufactured by Ralston, the same company behind Bill & Ted’s Excellent Cereal and Nintendo Cereal System. Short-lived yet living rent-free in our subconscious since 1991, this product hit store shelves at the height of Urkel-mania. And then, just like Judy Winslow, it suddenly disappeared without a trace. Despite its fleeting availability, we still remember the catchy commercial jingle promoting its strawberry and banana flavors. We guess a cheese flavor was too difficult even for Urkel to crack. What’s next, an Urkel cannabis? Oh, and we thought the purple Grimace Shakes were bizarre.
#6: Spicy Pickle Microwave Popcorn
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Why do we get the suspicion that this product was conceived by Mad Libs? Actually, it comes from The Ass Kickin’ brand, which specializes in Southwest tastes that’ll set your tastebuds on fire. In addition to hot sauces, they produce a variety of snack items like popcorn, their strangest flavor being spicy dill pickle. As the company’s website says, this snack allows customers to “put a little Ass Kickin’ in your favorite movie.” Well, we suppose it would be a fitting treat to accompany “An American Pickle” or… um, 1993’s “The Pickle” starring Danny Aiello? And if you have an unusual craving for pickle popcorn, perhaps we can interest you in a can of Spicy Pickle Pneauts or a jar of Spicy Pickle Hot Sauce!
#5: Super Mario Oreos
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Mario is one of the most marketable characters ever. So, the notion of seeing his face on an Oreo isn’t that crazy. What is crazy is that the manufacturer went to the trouble of developing a backstory for these limited edition cookies, which come in 16 different designs. Get this, Princess Peach has disappeared, leaving her castle vulnerable to Bowser. The consumer’s “mission” is to balance the Bowser Oreo on the side of a glass. See how many hero Oreos you can stack on top of the Bowser cookie until the Koopa King is dunked into milk. Because you know, sitting around playing video games all day wasn’t unhealthy enough. Now we need to add Oreos into the mix. Where’s our copy of Wii Fit?
#4: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies
If it existed in the 80s or 90s, there was likely a Ninja Turtles tie-in for it. Hostess capitalized on the Turtle Power movement with a snack straight from the sewer… or so the commercial claimed. Similar to Hostess Pudding Pies, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies were loaded with vanilla goodness on the inside. It’s the outside that caught our attention, though, with a green glazed crust resembling a turtle shell. The pies premiered the same year as “Secret of Ooze,” although they were long gone by the time “Ninja Turtles III” came out. Fans have petitioned for the pies to make a comeback, but unless you saved a box from 1991… well, we wouldn’t recommend eating any because - unlike Twinkies - they have expiration dates.
#3: Cat Butts Candy
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Taste is important, but so is presentation. JL Candy Design excels in the latter department with enticing candies such as Leprechaun Barf and Zombie Unicorn Guts. Yet, we simply must prioritize their butt-based goodies. Highlights include Pony Butts, Police Dog Butts, and Summer Santa Butts, all in various gummy flavors. They even have Biden and Trump Butts, depending on which political party you’re affiliated with. We’re shining the spotlight on Cat Butts due to the packaging’s fine artistry. Some would draw a big booty and call it a day, but JL Candy went the extra mile, adding a wee starfish to the rear end. We don’t know about you, but if Tom Hooper ever releases the Butthole Cut of “Cats,” we’ve found our movie snack.
#2: Shrek Twinkies
Remember when we said that Twinkies don’t expire? We might’ve been wrong because the cream in these ones turned green. Oh wait a minute, these are Shrek Twinkies, which purposely substituted Hostess’ trademark cream filling with green ogre filling. Neither that description nor the product itself is especially appetizing, but Shrek Twinkies were apparently popular enough to serve as tie-ins for multiple sequels. You know what the craziest thing is though? Senator Tom Harkin used Shrek Twinkies as an example of how popular characters are used to promote junk food to kids. Eating unhealthy is a serious issue, but listening to Harkin speak to the U.S. Senate about Shrek Twinkies with such contempt, it’s not exactly “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”
#1: Grave of the Fireflies Sakuma Drops
From a marketing standpoint, it makes sense why Shrek, Mario, and even Urkel would be sought after as snack mascots. Why Sakuma Candy thought “Grave of the Fireflies” would be an acceptable tie-in is beyond us. Granted, Sakuma drops play a role in the 1988 Japanese film. However, between its World War II backdrop and the hunger that our main characters endure, the idea of plastering Setsuko’s face on a tin can sucks any joy out of eating the fruity candies. To add insult to injury, you know what they list under “occasion” on the product’s Amazon page? Birthday! They realize how this movie ends, right? So many Ghibli movies feature delicious-looking cuisine, but they just had to build a food campaign around this one.
