Top 10 Creepiest Fast Food Mascots Ever

Jack in the Box
Clowns are a popular mascot, despite having an entire phobia named after them. The early incarnations of Jack-In-The-Box’s Jack I. Box appeared in the 1950s drive-throughs and on large restaurant signs. Considering the size of the Jack heads, they could appear quite harrowing. After being retired in ‘80s, the late ‘90s brought Jack to life following an effort to change things up. Ads soon featured the “new CEO”, who, despite having a male human body, had a giant white ball for a head that’s often accessorized with a yellow clown cap. While that might not seem so bad, the ad campaign featured at least one commercial in which “Jack” threatened and physically attacked a man for criticizing his food - and then forcefeeds him!

Chuck E. Cheese
American kids will know this face well. Did you know, however, that the Chuck E. Cheese mouse actually started out as a rat? This was way before internet sensation Pizza Rat. The restaurant was founded in 1977 as a relatively new concept: fast food, arcade and family entertainment all in one. Who better to represent your dining establishment than a rodent reminiscent of a creepy uncle? The earliest incarnations of the OG Pizza Rat were by far the most unsettling, as he told jokes in a New Jersey accent while smoking a cigar. Fun fact: the original chain’s animatronic show featured a wall-mounted version of Chuck E. Cheese that could only move certain parts of his body. Not disturbing at all…

Dairy Queen
Dairy Queen has been around since 1940. It was only in 2006, however, that they unleashed the “Dairy Queen Lips” as its spokes…mouth? The ad campaign somehow lasted until 2011 despite the fact that there’s little that’s more terrifying than disembodied facial features. If you can’t turn your mascot into a costume that can easily be worn by a human, then it probably isn’t a very good mascot. We have so many questions! What happened to the body that the mouth belongs to? How does it get to Dairy Queen to sample their ice cream? And where does the food go after it’s eaten? Do the lips ever get to hang out with the Rolling Stones Records logo?

Arby’s
Arby’s has been in business since 1964. In the early 2000s, the restaurant saw a decline in sales and needed to save itself from sinking lower. So the hatted sandwich shop spent 85 million dollars to develop its new mascot with an ad agency. They came up with… an oven mitt named “Oven Mitt.” Again, that’s 85 million dollars. The slightly off-looking mitt was featured in commercials and voiced by Tom Arnold. Sometimes, Mr. Mitt hangs on the wall giving pep talks to employees. Sometimes he works out, and sometimes he gets slapped around in high fives… The thing is, does anyone want to work with a Tom Arnold oven mitt lurking around? We’ll take the Hamburger Helper glove instead. At least Lefty is helpful.

ShowBiz Pizza Place
Showbiz Pizza was founded in 1980, and quickly became a Chuck E. Cheese competitor. In fact, founder Robert L. Brock was attached to Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre until ties were cut in the late ‘70s. Brock opened a similar establishment, complete with eerie animatronics. Cue Billy Bob Brockali and the Rock-afire Explosion, the animatronic band in charge of entertaining and/or dispensing nightmare fuel to children. Billy Bob was an oddly-shaped brown bear in tacky overalls. His bandmates included Looney Bird, a bird-like entity whose head (and sometimes hands) was the only thing visible and Dook Larue, a freaky-looking mutt. There was also Fatz Geronimo, a potentially offensive gorilla based on Fats Domino and Ray Charles, and Mitzi Mozzarella, a stereotypical cheerleader mouse.

Pizza Hut
Fast food places need to learn that it’s actually horrifying when sentient food items promote eating themselves. It’s even worse if they don’t realize they’re about to be eaten. In the mid-90s, Pizza Hut unveiled its “Pizza Head Show” ad campaign: commercials in which a seemingly infantile puppet-style show featured an unwilling pizza slice getting continuously injured or murdered. He is placed into situations in which villainous pizza cutter Steve appears unexpectedly to off him. The thing is, if Pizza Head were a jerk, it’d be easier to root for the slicer. But he’s shown as a high-pitched innocent bystander, taken off guard by ravenous consumers. And he always looked so happy at first too, with his little toppings-adorned face. RIP Pizza Head… the ‘90s were a crazy time.

Domino’s
In the 1980s, Domino’s introduced “The Noid” to the airwaves. He’s described as a personification of the act of getting pizzas delivered in 30 minutes or less, hence the bunny ears, extremely fitted clothing and general demeanor of a man likely on performance-enhancing substances. He was initially a claymation creation, which can heighten the creep factor score. Here’s the worst part: in 1989, a man with mental health issues named Kenneth Lamar Noid held two Domino’s employees hostage because he believed he was being targeted by the campaign and that the restaurant’s manager had stolen his identity. Fortunately, there were no injuries, and he eventually surrendered. Domino’s eventually stopped using the Noid to advertise in the ‘90s, though the character has occasionally made cameos.

McDonald’s
Though Post Cereal e introduced their clown-based mascot Krinkles before Ronald McDonald’s 1963 debut, it’s clear that the Hamburger-Happy Clown is the more famous of the fictional costumed characters. Originally portrayed by Willard Scott, the McDonald’s mascot first wore a bizarre costume made from disposable takeout containers, complete with drink cup nose. It was… kind of awful: Ronald looked like he’d gathered his adornments from a local dumpster. He eventually evolved into the white, yellow and red guy we’re all used to. Ultimately though, he’s a clown and clowns can be creepy. Imagine Ronald in a dark parking lot, staring you down as you nervously make your way to your car. His friends are no better: there’s the mysterious purple blob Grimace, the criminal Hamburglar, the Mayor with a cheeseburger for a head and more.

Quiznos
In the early 2000s, Quiznos turned a weird internet video into an ad campaign. Enter the Spongmonkeys, a pair of… we’re still not 100% sure. They look like dishevelled rodents with human teeth, and are not identified as any earthly creature. Creator Joel Veitch admitted that even he doesn’t know what they are. If we were to hazard a guess, we’d go with repressed sleep paralysis demons. The little creatures love a Quiznos’ sub, but we imagine that their employees would throw the sandwiches at the misshapen vermin just to get them away from their franchises. The response to the ad campaign wasn’t great, and the Spongmonkeys were retired only a year later. But that doesn’t mean they were forgotten, either; in fact, the fuzzy mascots made a slight comeback in 2023, as part of Quiznos’ own comeback attempt.

FAKE-OUT:

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza
It was just a matter of time before the animatronics turned murderous! But we’re actually focusing on real mascots, not ones meant to chill you to the bone. So let’s pave the way for our top creep…

Burger King
The Burger King started out as a friendly-looking cartoon king in the 1950s, and went through a couple of cute iterations. The version dubbed “The Creepy King” by many was introduced in 2004 and stuck around until 2011. The character is essentially a man wearing a grinning face mask of the King that’s too big for his head. While that’s unsettling and kind of threatening on its own, the mascot also didn’t talk, was kind of dead in the eyes and often showed up in random places, presenting people with food. Burger King CFO Josh Kobza[d] claimed the removal of the King was largely due to his tendency to frighten people.

Which mascot made its way into your nightmares? Let us know in the comments!

[b]Spongmonkeys = NOT sponge, spong rhymes with pong https://youtu.be/o4FC9F5UnCA?t=39
veech https://youtu.be/o4FC9F5UnCA?si=bQQukz9TB3DKxeBC&t=24
[c]https://youtu.be/MOj54uNhEEI?si=PilLP0ue-dK2W3sr
[d]COB-zuh https://youtu.be/ZVXPn0chy7k?si=UHlBRXEnYYrQcWWa&t=2