Top 10 Dumbest Horror Movie Plots EVER

What were they on when they thought of this? Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dumbest Horror Movie Plots. For this list, we’ll be looking at horror movies that have ridiculous, nonsensical, or just downright hilarious stories.

“Countdown” is sort of like “The Ring” for a new generation. Only “The Ring” was good. Instead of a cursed VHS tape it’s a phone app, and when you download it, it tells you when you are going to die. When the heroine downloads the app, she realizes, much to her horror, that she only has… wait for it… three days to live! She then has to figure out how to stop her imminent demise. So, how exactly does this lethal phone app work? Is the story a paper-thin commentary on how we rely on technology to dictate our lives? Whatever. It’s lame, it’s ridiculous, and it’s a blatant rip-off of a better, and scarier, movie.

This movie was released just two months before “It” hit bookshelves, which is easily one of King’s most bonkers stories. The 80s were a wild time for Mr. King. “Maximum Overdrive” was directed by King himself and is based on one of his short stories. In this one, a comet passes by Earth and causes all the machines to come alive and pursue humans. The protagonists have to do battle with monstrous trucks. Do you think any illegal substances were involved? Granted, the movie isn’t entirely based in horror, as it contains a lot of black humor and intentionally campy elements. That said, we can’t just ignore how ludicrous the whole thing is. We could say the same for a large chunk of King’s output.

You really can’t go wrong with the traditional “maniac chases a bunch of stupid teenagers” story. That is, unless you dress the maniac in a bunny suit. Yes, the amazingly named “Bunnyman” concerns the titular Bunny Man, a psychopath who pursues people with a chainsaw while dressed like a bunny. Surprisingly, this movie is actually influenced by a real Virginia urban legend. It’s said that a man dressed in a rabbit suit threatened some people with either an axe or a hatchet in Fairfax County back in 1970. The Washington Post even reported that the alleged Bunny Man ate a person’s cat. Urban legend aside, we find a bunny villain difficult to take seriously in a movie.

This film is the result of an insurance salesman betting his screenwriter friend that he could make a horror movie. He certainly did, and the result is one of the worst movies ever produced. It starts with a family getting lost in the Texas desert on their “first vacation.” They then come across a mysterious house run by a satyr. The satyr works for The Master, a mysterious cult leader who keeps numerous wives and worships a deity named Manos. It sounds like an intentionally corny B-movie, and it certainly has its charms. However, everyone knew they were making utter crap, and creator Harold P. Warren admitted that it was the worst movie ever made.

“Grabbers” is actually a pretty decent movie, a respectable by-product of “Shaun of the Dead’s” influence on the horror-comedy genre. It follows the inhabitants of an island off the coast of Ireland that is invaded by sea aliens. However, the citizens soon learn that the aliens can’t stomach high blood alcohol content, so they all decide to hunker down and get hammered. It sounds like a straight-up comedy, but it also contains a fair share of excitement and surprisingly scary scenes, and it does take itself as seriously as its premise will allow. Which, you know, isn’t very serious.

First off, let’s just address that title. It may be the worst movie title in history, and that’s saying something. The movie follows a mentally ill man named Gregory Tudor who witnessed the murder of an ice cream man as a child, causing Gregory to correlate the crime with ice cream. Or something. Once he is released from a mental institution, Gregory begins working as an ice cream man and uses the corpses of the people and animals he takes out in his recipes. It’s like “Sweeney Todd,” only with ice cream instead of meat pies. It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but what exactly did you expect with a movie called “Ice Cream Man?”

No, we didn’t spell and say that incorrectly. There actually exists a movie called “The Gingerdead Man,” and it is every bit a fever dream as you probably imagine. Bizarrely enough, the film stars a typically zany Gary Busey as the titular Gingerdead Man, which is a ridiculous imitation of Chucky. Not that Chucky isn’t ridiculous as well. The Gingerdead Man consists of a typical gingerbread man and the ashes (yes, the ashes) of a criminal who was given the chair, resulting in a deranged gingerbread man who hangs around a bakery. This is like something your stoned friend would come up with while watching “Child’s Play” on Christmas. Only they actually made it into a movie.

You know, we were fine with an evil Leprechaun. We were fine with the Leprechaun in Vegas. But we draw the line at space. Like most movie series fresh out of ideas, the “Leprechaun” franchise took to space in 1997. It takes place in 2096, sees the Leprechaun courting an alien princess named Zarina, and even features lightsabers! The Leprechaun also hunts space marines and cyborgs on a spaceship after emerging from a soldier’s penis. Oh, we forget to tell you that the Leprechaun’s spirit traveled up the marine’s urine stream while he was peeing on the Leprechaun’s corpse. Do people feel ashamed for writing this kind of stuff? After this, sending the Leprechaun in the hood actually started to sound practical by comparison!

No, we’re not talking about that heartwarming but somewhat goofy kids’ movie that saw Michael Keaton transformed into a snowman. No, we’re talking about 1997’s “Jack Frost,” a straight-to-video disaster. Granted, we would forgive you for being mistaken, as the plot follows a similar outline. Much like “Child’s Play” and “The Gingerdead Man,” “Jack Frost” sees a serial killer trapped inside the body of something else. This time it’s a snowman, as the transport carrying Jack Frost crashes into a “genetics truck,” causing his body to fuse with the snow. They really will stretch the Chucky concept to its most ludicrous depths, won’t they?

This movie belongs in a museum, because future generations will never believe that there existed a movie called “Death Bed: The Bed That Eats.” As you can imagine, the movie concerns a literal death bed. But wait, it gets so much better. You see, the bed was conjured by a demon who wanted to sleep with some random hot woman. Only, the woman died during copulation, causing the demon to cry blood onto the bed and inadvertently bring it to life. Oh, and the bed trapped an artist in a painting and forces him to watch it eat its victims. This was writer/director George Barry’s only film, but we can’t see why. He could have gone places with that fevered imagination of his.