Top 10 DUMBEST Inventions of All Time

There’s no such thing as a bad idea… well, except for these… Welcome to WatchMojo.com and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dumbest Inventions.

For this list, we’re taking a look at products that sound too bizarre to exist… but they do.

If you’re stuck in an office all day, finding the time to work out can be a struggle. The Hawaii Chair, also known as the Hula Chair, is intended to kill two birds with one stone. With the appearance of a regular desk chair, this invention possesses a rotating seat that mimics a hula dance. Users can exercise their whole body without even standing up… at least that’s what the infomercial implies. As far as fitness equipment goes, the Hawaii Chair is hardly a substitute for the treadmill or elliptical. On top of that, it’s too rambunctious to function in a quiet workplace environment. Imagine answering the phone or using the computer while riding a tilt-a-whirl. It’s bound to end badly.

Do you have trouble applying lipstick? Well even if you do, we wouldn’t recommend wasting your money on a lipstick stencil. This Japanese product is supposed to prevent lipstick from bleeding outside the lines of your lips. By strapping the uncomfortable headgear to your face, you can use the mouth-shaped outline to keep lipstick inside the lip area. Apparently the people behind this ridiculous invention have never heard of lip liner. Aside from being inefficient, the lipstick stencil looks like it was designed to restrain Hannibal Lecter. Of course if you ever come across one of these eyesores, you can always use it to carve a jack-o’-lantern for Halloween.

Getting a haircut might be a hassle, but buying a Flowbee isn’t exactly a superior alternative. Invented by Rick E. Hunts and patented in 1986, this vacuum cleaner attachment claims that it allows users to give themselves quick, precise haircuts. The problem is that it’s not very quick… or precise… and some would argue that it doesn’t even really cut hair! While many have complained that Flowbees are ineffective, two million devices were sold by the year 2000. This invention is so notorious that it was actually parodied in “Wayne’s World.” Instead of the Flowbee, though, it was appropriated called “The Suck Kut.”

Couples get divorced for a variety of reasons, although we highly doubt flatulence is among the leading causes. This product is so ludicrous that you’d swear it’s from a fake “Saturday Night Live” commercial. We assure you, though, that the Better Marriage Blanket is all too real. If you or your spouse lets one rip in bed, this comforter will miraculously absorb the fart. It even contains a layer of carbon-activated fabric. So does that mean it can also be used as protection against chemical warfare? Regardless, if you want to freshen up your stinky love life, maybe just lay off the beans and asparagus.

Do you ever wish there were an easier way to drink wine on the go? Then the WineRack is the brassiere for you! This outrageous invention is kind of like a CamelBak for vino fans. Instead of a backpack that carries water, however, it’s a bra that carries wine. The WineRack can hold up to 25 ounces, which is essentially one bottle of wine. If that’s not enough to quench your thirst, a Wine Glass Holder Necklace can also come in handy. Of course if you use either of these items on a regular basis, you may want to check into the nearest rehab facility… or at least attend an AA meeting.

You’re on a golf course, having the greatest game of your life, when all of a sudden nature calls. Fear not, the UroClub will resolve your potty emergency! The ads for the UroClub promise a “discrete, sanitary way for your urgent relief.” However, there’s nothing discrete about peeing into a golf club with a receptacle built into the grip. Covering yourself with a towel isn’t going to fool anybody either. It’s also worth pointing out that public urination is illegal in most places. You’re better off seeking out the nearest toilet, especially if it comes equipped with a Potty Putter. Seriously, why do inventors keep associating golf with the bathroom?

At first glance, this invention might look like a torture device… or a really weird sex toy. Believe it or not, it’s actually intended to reduce neck pain, but we wouldn’t be surprised if somebody used the NeckPro for autoerotic asphyxiation. Here’s how this traction device supposedly works: First, attach the bracket to a door. Second, sit up against the closed door and put your head in the chinstraps. Third, pull the cord to adjust tension. Finally, sit and relax for several minutes, although we’re not sure how anybody could possibly relax under these circumstances. Sorry, but we’ll take our chances with a chiropractor over this accident waiting to happen.

Why stop at a drive-thru restaurant when you can just fire up the Car Exhaust Grill? Sure, you might contract a fatal disease, but at least the burger will taste rancid! Invented by Roohollah Merrikhpour of Iran, this device attaches to your car’s exhaust pipe. After putting a raw beefy patty inside the grill, all you need to do is drive around and let the heat cook the meat. While the creators claim that the fumes will travel away from the burger, we have a hard time believing this accessory is 100% sanitary. Suddenly, fast food is starting to sound like a healthy option.

If you have a goldfish, you should avoid putting its tank in direct sunlight. This not only creates a large amount of algae, but can also cause the water temperature to rise and overheat your fish. We wonder if Mick Madden knew this when he invented the Goldfish Walker. A middle-aged metalworker from Northern England, Madden felt that his two little fishies, Malcolm and Ethel, needed to get out and see the world. Thus, he attached a fish bowl to a trolley to create a portable aquarium. Now his fishy friends can experience the great outdoors like dogs, although it’s safe to say that Madden is the real fish out of water.

Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case dishonorable, mentions:
- Dog Wigs

- Kush Breast Support

- Cat Duster Slippers

We’re as shocked as you are that this invention actually existed. Initially patented by Emma Read in 1922, the Baby Cage wasn’t a bestseller in America (Gee, isn’t that surprising?). In 1937, however, this deathtrap was distributed to the Chelsea Baby Club in London. The idea was to attach these cages to apartment windows so infants could get some fresh air. After all, it’s not like parents can just take their babies for a stroll outside. Toddlers are much better off playing in a wired cage with their fate literally hanging in the balance. Seriously, though, if a parent was caught with a Baby Cage in this day and age, we have a feeling that child protective services would get a call.

Do you agree with our list? What do you think in the dumbest invention ever? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.