Top 10 Dumbest Things Done By South Park Parents

In the appropriately named “South Park: The Fractured but Whole,” the kids discover that Mitch Conner, Cartman’s dastardly left hand, has returned to take over South Park by running for Mayor. His plan? Get all the adults hooked on drugs and alcohol with cat urine while letting criminals roam free to make Mayor McDaniels look bad. His plan succeeds in the first timeline, but when the New Kid rewinds time, the kids manage to expose Mitch’s plan before his inauguration. (Although, let’s be honest - this was Cartman’s doing the whole time…) Rather than analyze their stupidity and overindulgence, the adults all choose to disperse in search of “clean drugs and alcohol.” If only that really exists.

After bringing down a notorious space criminal, the adults find themselves stuck with a ludicrous amount of space cash. However, instead of reporting and returning it to the Intergalactic Police, they choose to keep the stolen cash to themselves, lie to the police, and begin using it as their own currency. As it turns out, the criminal and “space cash” were all a part of a test to see if Earth was eligible to become a part of an elite legion of intergalactic societies. Citing their greed and self-indulgent behavior, the criminal - who is revealed to be an ambassador of the legion - isolates Earth from the rest of the universe.

When Token manages to get rich families to move to South Park, Mr. Garrison becomes irritated with the sudden change and rallies some of the townsfolk to get rid of them. However, their methods are a little unorthodox, to say the least, as their methods for scaring the rich away involve burning “a lower-case ‘t’” that supposedly stands for “time to leave.” To make matters worse, they dress up as “ghosts” as their last resort to get the rich to leave. While their plan works, unfortunately, the ending implies that Garrison managed to trick the town into temporarily becoming the KKK in a convoluted get-rich-quick scheme. How did nobody realize this sooner?

When Randy has the boys give the Stotches a rental of “Lord of the Rings,” he soon discovers he accidentally gave them a pornographic film. And so, he and the rest of the parents end up searching for the kids before their innocent eyes experience it. Luckily, they find them, but rather than explaining the problem, Randy chooses to explain the plot in immense detail, leaving the boys speechless. Given that Token watched the movie, we can understand his assumption, but the stupidity lies in his negligence to ask, let alone leave the kids confused.

Talk about being overly paranoid… After witnessing their son putting on multiple personas (or, as the kids call it, “playing pretend”), Linda and Stephen believe their little Butters has multiple personality disorder and place him in therapy with Dr. Janus. Butters quickly becomes frustrated with his predicament as he finds his own doctor is the one suffering from the illness. We got to side with Butters on this one. Playing pretend is nothing alarming; kids do it all the time and even adults can adopt personas. Besides, Butters is just enjoying his life as a postman/truck driver. Let the kid have a little fun!

Once again, “Family Guy” has gone and angered another part of the world, getting ready to air a new episode that depicts the prophet Muhammed. While Kyle tries to stop Cartman from getting the episode pulled, the townsfolk of South Park are thrown into a blind panic, wondering how to keep themselves from getting bombed by Muslim terrorists. Just so they could say they never saw the episode, the whole town ends up burying their heads in sand. There are two issues here. First off, the terrorists were threatening the whole country, not just South Park. And two, who is going to bury the last person’s head in the sand? This was an absurd plan conjured up in a desperate move to claim innocence.

South Park Elementary finds themselves in a chaotic split when the candidates for the school’s new mascots were announced. One half wants the giant douche, and the other wants the turd sandwich. The only student who doesn’t seem to care is Stan Marsh, and when he voices his apathy, the town straps him on a horse and sends him packing. Considering the number of awful things Eric Cartman has done, this is all it took for Stan to be exiled? We guess South Park considers not voting to be worse than making a kid eat his own parents.

The kids have found a new way to get high, and the drugs are right in their homes. When the adults discover it is possible to get high off of cat urine, they take extreme measures to protect their children, going so far as to straight-up ban all cats. Of course, that doesn’t stop Kenny from getting hopped up on what is called “cheesing,” and Cartman ends up housing dozens of cats in his attic. Clearly, this overblown ban could be foreseen as difficult to enforce, but what else could we expect from the grown-ups at this point?

In the episode “Child Abduction is Not Funny,” the parents of South Park go to great lengths to ensure their kids’ safety. Despite putting clunky “Child Tracker” helmets on every kid in town, the parents soon discover a new horror thanks to their local news - the possibility that parents may abduct their own children. You’d think there would be one sane grown-up to call out the lunacy on display, but nope! Every kid in South Park is sent away, and Mayor McDaniels hires the City Wok owner to build a massive wall, ensuring nobody will be able to kidnap their kids.

Before we take a look at their dumbest moment, here are a few Honorable Mentions…

Clyde’s Mom Falls in a Toilet
“Reverse Cowgirl”

Obsessing Over True Crime Shows
“Informative Murder Porn”

Turning Kenny’s House into SodoSopa
“The City Part of Town”

Purposely Giving Their Kids Chicken Pox
“Chickenpox”

Ignoring ManBearPig’s Attacks
“Time to Get Cereal”

As a result of seeing the very adult “Terrence & Phillip” movie, every kid in town is swearing and calling each other inappropriate names. Rather than take it upon themselves to be parents and teach their kids why cursing isn’t appropriate, the mothers of South Park blame the whole thing on Canada and form an organization “Mothers Against Canada.” The outrage eventually escalates into a war between the US and Canada, and the farting comedians are taken as the US’s prisoners. This all could have been avoided had they spent a few minutes explaining to their kids what they were doing was wrong.