Top 10 Franchises With No Good Movies

You know a franchise is off to a rocky start when the first iteration doesn’t even get released. The Roger Corman film gets a technical pass because of its complicated history. But the Fantastic Four films that did make it to theaters all missed the mark in their own right. The Jessica Alba-led movies tried to incorporate plenty of comedy into their depiction of Marvel’s First Family, but that often came at the expense of exciting action and a compelling narrative. Conversely, the 2015 reboot directed by Josh Trank is devoid of fun, with loads of studio interference making it feel highly disjointed. Still, if there’s anyone who can get the recipe right, it’s Kevin Feige and the MCU.

This franchise got so bad they didn’t even finish it. Though the first “Divergent” movie was fairly derivative YA fare, it did show potential. Sadly, the sequels failed to capitalize on it. “Insurgent” and “Allegiant” abandoned the central concept in favor of a lifeless rebellion storyline done better by other YA properties. Also like plenty of YA adaptations, the studio opted to split the final book into two parts. This backfired, however, as the abysmal reception to Part I resulted in the fourth film being cancelled altogether. It’s perhaps for the best, as the tentatively titled “Ascendant” probably wouldn’t have been any better. Still, it’s kind of annoying from a completionist standpoint. Good or not, stories deserve an ending.

We respect that Tyler Perry has a huge and very loyal following, but as popular as his Madea movies are, very few of them come close to the realm of “good.” They’re often contrived and more than a little melodramatic. When the iconic Madea enters the picture, the jarring shifts in tone make it almost impossible to sit through. Sure, Perry’s enthusiastic performance has made Madea something of a modern icon, but her many scenes of continuous banter with the other characters almost always grind whatever plot there is to a screeching halt. Perry stated that 2019’s “A Madea Family Funeral” would be the swan song for the character, but considering the high box office returns of the franchise, we still doubt it.

Video game movies rarely hit the mark. Angelina Jolie’s first outing as “Tomb Raider” did well at the box office, but it certainly didn’t break the video game movie curse. Jolie certainly looked the part of Lara Croft, but in films that were unabashedly cheesy. Need we even mention that accent? The 2018 incarnation, which was modeled after the grittier video game reboot, was definitely a step in the right direction, but it’s more competent than actually good. Alicia Vikander certainly works in the title role, but never does the movie transcend its genre conventions to tell a genuinely compelling story. Who knows, though; maybe they’ll learn from their mistakes.

It’s fairly easy to pick on the live-action/CGI hybrids that were released from 2007 to 2015. What with their desperate nature and unending series of saccharine pop songs, they already feel very dated. But the kids kept watching, so we somehow wound up with four films! Some of us also remember when the Chipmunks first made it to the big screen in 1987’s “The Chipmunk Adventure.” Though the film rightly depicted the characters in their true, animated form, it still felt like the forgettable direct-to-video offerings we’d get later on. We don’t know how many devoted “Chipmunks” stans are out there, but we suspect they’re pretty peeved that they haven’t gotten a single decent installment. Cue Dave yelling… (Broll: “Alvin!”)

We go from one live-action/CGI hybrid to another. “The Smurfs” movies are so smurfing smurf you can’t help but smurf. Translation: they’re pretty bad. The franchise boasts an impressive voice cast (not to mention the onscreen talent), but no amount of star power can elevate such humdrum material. We can understand the principle of simply catering to the young demographic out there and letting the dollars roll in, but does the finished product have to be so scattershot? The series took a marginal step in the right direction with “The Lost Village” by returning to full-on animation, but we still think the franchise needs, like, Artistic Smurf to up the quality.

Six movies, and not one of them considered good! They make for decent popcorn flicks, sure, but little else. And while the first film had some effective moments of claustrophobia, it’s plagued by the same poor character development and overreliance on CGI monsters that later defined the sequels. Indeed, the following instalments felt so formulaic that seeing one called “The Final Chapter” was kinda a relief. Of course, Hollywood doesn’t let any property die, and so a reboot is scheduled to be released in September of 2021. While that one is reportedly going back to the horror roots of the video games, we’re still not going to hold our breath. Video game movies still have a lot to make up for with cinemagoers.

Political and philosophical leanings aside, the “Atlas Shrugged” movies from the 2010s are plenty bad on their own merits. Taking on the herculean task of adapting Ayn Rand’s hefty and controversial novel of the same name, the filmmakers divided the story into three films. Spoiler: they are all special kinds of awful—as if recasting every single role twice wasn’t any indication. When they’re not unsubtly hammering home the book’s ideologies, the movies pretty much bore the viewer to sleep with incredibly dull plot developments. Maybe Atlas really should have shrugged and spared us the viewing experience.

It really doesn’t get less sexy than this. Considering the hugely successful book series was widely criticized for poor writing, the “Fifty Shades” film series really didn’t let many people down. By that we mean… few had very high expectations. The dialogue is stilted, the characters are unlikable, and the romance scenes don’t have a whole lot of genuine romance to begin with. While you could pin a lot of it on the lack of chemistry between its stars - and trust us, we do - the basic plots at the core of these films are fairly ridiculous. And while that might sell tickets at the box office, they don’t make for good cinema.

This is the franchise we have to thank for “Fifty Shades.” Look, we know “The Twilight Saga” is beloved, and we support all fandoms, but come on, even with splitting its final chapter into two installments, no single movie in this franchise comes close to being good. While the movies have talented leads, they are beset on all sides by some of the worst character writing put to screen, giving its adolescent audiences a flurry of questionable messages about the relationship between love and identity. It doesn’t even really earn the moniker of “Saga,” delivering a narrative about vampires and werewolves with surprisingly little bite. In short, “Twilight” more than earns its spot at the top of this list.