Top 10 Funniest Batman Lines In Movies And TV
#10: “Startle the Tenants”
“Batman” (1966-68)
He’s always been one for a grand entrance, but very rarely does he feel the need to explain it. Kicking things off with the classic Adam West TV show, here Batman explains his reasoning for coming in through Barbara’s window, when, in reality, he could have just come and knocked on the door. Fair enough, Bruce. The quote conjures up the image of the dynamic duo casually climbing the building’s staircase as Barbara’s housemates stare in bewilderment, which is funny enough on its own, but it’s the sheer genuine politeness of the line’s delivery that makes it extra hilarious.
#9: “This Is Why Superman Works Alone”
“Batman & Robin” (1997)
It’s fair to say Batman and Robin isn’t everyone’s favorite film. Joel Schumacher’s second Batman installment is usually talked about as being hilarious… for all the wrong reasons. But it isn’t all bad. For all it’s dumb moments, there’s one Batman line to Robin that ticks the box as one rare interaction between the Gotham crime fighters that actually works. We have to wonder though: if Superman exists in this world, where was he when Mr Freeze was looking to turn Gotham in to an ice cube?
#8: “I Made Him Make It”
“Harley Quinn” (2019-)
As a young superhero comes of age, finding a proper nemesis is an important rite of passage. In this early episode of “Harley Quinn”, young Robin is dealing with that very problem. Frustrated that he’s not yet found archenemy-to-be, the young vigilante mopes in the Batcave, and it’s Bruce Wayne to the rescue with some elderly wisdom. [2] But the best part of the exchange is the way Batman attempts to break the ice: with Robin’s favorite sandwich. When his astute protégé quickly identifies the sandwich’s obvious origins, Bruce delivers this delicious counterpoint. [1] The Crusader’s reaction is surprisingly charming, as though Robin’s observation was just a technicality. Batman might not have put in the legwork, but his heart was in the right place.
#7: “So That's What That Feels Like”
“The Dark Knight Rises” (2012)
Batman sure has built himself a reputation of abruptly disappearing on people. It’s not just in the Christopher Nolan franchise either. Throughout different versions on-screen and off, the disappearing act has become one of the dark knight’s signature traits. In the third installment of The Dark Knight trilogy though, we finally see Batman get a taste of his own medicine. After rescuing Selina Kyle, Batman expects a polite thank you. Instead, she vanishes, and the dark knight is reminded of what he’s been doing to people for years .That’s what you get for not just saying goodbye like a normal person.
#6: “My Ego’s Far Too Big…”
“The Flash” (2023)
Having Wonder Woman as an ally can come with some…inconveniences. Barry Allen and Bruce Wayne find this out the hard way when they’re rescued by her Lasso of Truth in “The Flash”. It stays tangled around Batman’s wrist just a little too long, leaving time for him to spout some embarrassing honesty. His admissions may be obvious, but it’s still hilarious to see the egomaniac utter his flaws and insecurities aloud. Wayne’s contempt about the confession is written all over his scowl, and that makes it all even more gleeful. Even The Flash drops some truth bombs when he touches the golden rope. Needless to say, both heroes are relieved to be freed of the lasso’s curse, and Diana’s amused satisfaction mirrors our own.
#5: “I'm Not Wearing Hockey Pads”
“The Dark Knight” (2008)
When Dr. Crane and his thugs meet with the Chechen to discuss the effect of the Scarecrow’s fear toxin, a few copycat caped crusaders arrive at the scene, armed with guns and donning low-rent bat-costumes. Eventually, however, the real deal does arrive, and it’s quite the entrance. After Batman takes down his overzealous fans, one of them defends their actions by saying they’re only trying to help. The copycat also asks Batman what the difference is between the two of them, to which the Dark Knight gives a very blunt, and very funny, answer.
#4: “Children Can Be Cruel”
“The Lego Batman Movie” (2017)
Batman and Robin haven’t always seen eye to eye. In multiple versions, Batman has been reluctant to even have a sidekick, with Bruce Wayne often seeing Dick Grayson or Tim Drake as too young for vigilante. In the Lego Batman Movie, Dick meets Bruce Wayne at a party. Singing in a choir full of orphans, he spots his idol and seeks some advice on getting adopted. Distracted, Bruce is so oblivious to Dick that he just writes his nickname off as the kids teasing him! It works out for the soon-to-be Boy Wonder, though, as Bruce is so absent-minded that he agrees to adopt him. That’s a verbal contract.
#3: “I'm a Rich Kid with Issues”
“Justice League” (2001-04)
Whether he’s had his mask on or not, it’s safe to say that Bruce Wayne has had a fair share of women in his life. But his relationship with fellow Justice League member Wonder Woman has usually never been more than a will they/won’t they kind of thing. Whether you’d like them to hook up, or you think the Amazonian Princess is just too good for the brooding bat, in this animated series Batman is the one who’s not interested, as he lists all the reasons why he and Diana should never date … All good points, if you ask us.
#2: “Some Days You Just Can't Get Rid of a Bomb”
Batman: The Movie (1966)
In one of the most iconic and memorable moments from the Adam West-era movie, Batman tries his darnedest to find somewhere safe to leave a bomb. Unfortunately, there are innocent people, and ducks everywhere he goes. As we begin to wonder just how long the bomb’s fuse is, Batman delivers this wonderfully on the nose bit of dialogue. Delivered with Adam West’s trademark comedic timing, this quote serves as a great punchline to the madness that precedes it. And while Christian Bale’s Batman never says this line out loud, we bet he was thinking it during the climax of “The Dark Knight Rises”.
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
“Iron Man sucks”, “The Lego Batman Movie” (2017)
Throwin’ Shade at His Competitor
“I Could Never Get past the Title”, “Batman: The Animated Series” (1992-95)
Bruce Could Learn a Few Things from George Bailey
“Eat Floor! High Fiber!”, “Batman Returns” (1992)
He’s Just Looking out for Catwoman’s Health!
“I Can’t Fly At All”, “Justice League Unlimited” (2004-06)
He’s a “Bat” in Name Only
#1: “I Only Work in Black. And Sometimes Very, Very Dark Grey”
“The Lego Movie” (2014)
With a few possible exceptions, never in the on-screen history of the Batman has he uttered such absurd and genuinely comedic one-liners. In a film full of pop-culture references for older audiences, the writers took their chance to make Batman fun for everyone. Lego Batman’s self-referential humour nods towards the history of the character, and parodies the dark knight’s more self-serious portrayals in a way that’s so ridiculous, even fans of Batman’s darker moments can’t help but laugh. This is a line that delights both hardcore comic book fans and younger audiences alike.
Which Batman line made you grin from ear to ear? Tell us in the comments!
