Top 10 Intimidating Movie Villains Who Are Actually Cowards
#10: Shooter McGavin
“Happy Gilmore” (1996) Shooter is perhaps the slimiest villain found in an Adam Sandler movie, played wonderfully by Christopher McDonald. Shooter certainly thinks he’s Mr. Tough Guy, and he even trolls Happy the very first time they meet by sending him into the sprinklers. But he’s actually a giant coward. He often backs down from confrontation, like backing away from Happy in the bar and speed walking away from Mr. Larson. Granted, those are some scary situations. What’s not scary is Happy’s harmless banter, which Shooter responds to by bumbling through some lame response and walking away. He can’t even beat Happy fairly, instead paying a lonely man to heckle and run Happy over with his car.
#9: Ernst Stavro Blofeld
“For Your Eyes Only” (1981) Blofeld is perhaps the most famous Bond villain, being mentioned or appearing in six of the original twenty films. His final appearance in the original timeline came in 1981’s “For Your Eyes Only.” However, audiences never see his face, as the character was embroiled in a legal dispute at the time. Many fans don’t want to believe it’s actually him, because the depiction is so out-of-character and cowardly. He cries, begs, and whimpers after Bond sticks him with the helicopter landing skid, and then he’s simply tossed down a chimney. And just like that, Bond’s biggest and most dangerous antagonist was dead. This entire sequence served as producer Albert R. Broccoli’s middle finger to Kevin McClory, who was claiming rights to the Blofeld character.
#8: Captain Hook
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“Peter Pan” (1953) Disney did Captain Hook nasty, turning him from a terrifying, dangerous threat into wacky comic relief. Then again, this is for the kids, so we suppose we can accept it. Despite being the big bad of the movie (and one of the most popular villains in Disney history), Captain Hook is actually quite a goof. He’s always being injured in many humorous and wacky ways, and he’s constantly ridiculed by those around him. He’s also a massive coward who panics and stutters whenever things aren’t going his way, whimpers whenever the croc is near, and never puts up an actual fight against Peter Pan. It’d be stupid easy to mutiny against this guy, despite his enormous reputation.
#7: Umbridge
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“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” (2007) Why are the villains of “Harry Potter” so...wimpy? Peter Pettigrew and Draco Malfoy are both cowardly wimps, and even though Umbridge puts on a tougher exterior, she too crumbles under pressure. Umbridge acts tough whenever she has the power of real forces behind her, like the Dementors or the Ministry’s politics. She’s the type of bully who acts tough whenever their bigger, stronger friends are around but are powerless on their own. She shows fear during Fred and George’s fireworks display and even runs from the fake fireworks dragon. She also can’t handle the oppressive atmosphere of the Forbidden Forest and whimpers when the Centaurs arrive. Points for deflecting the arrow and taking one out, though...
#6: Colonel Jessup
“A Few Good Men” (1992) Based on Aaron Sorkin’s play of the same name, “A Few Good Men” stars Jack Nicholson as United States Marine Corps Colonel Nathan R. Jessup. The Colonel serves as base commander at Guantanamo Bay, where a Marine named William Santiago was killed. As the story progresses, the audience learns that the fierce and faux-friendly Colonel Jessup is actually a massive coward. He flies off the handle whenever he’s rightfully confronted and questioned, he grows furious after being caught in a lie (much like a child), but above all, he isn’t above sacrificing others and hiding behind them to save himself. And that is the truest sign of a bonafide coward.
#5: Scar
“The Lion King” (1994) This “Hamlet” with lions features Scar in the role of Claudius. Fed up with being overshadowed, Scar conspires to have his brother and nephew killed. That’s cowardly enough, but it’s even worse that he had to create some needlessly elaborate plan. At least Claudius had the guts to just poison Hamlet’s dad straight out! And when he’s confronted by Simba and the hyenas, he places the blame on others and cowers in the corner while pleading for his life. If that wasn’t bad enough, he also gets the cowardly drop on Simba by throwing ash into his face rather than fight him directly. Talk about a complete lack of honor.
#4: Gaston
“Beauty and the Beast” (1991) Gaston also lacks even a shred of honor, despite his massive frame and frequent boasting. In fact, he’s arguably the most cowardly villain in the Disney canon. Firstly, he shoots a docile Beast in the back to instigate the rooftop fight. And even then, the Beast is too dejected to fight back. And while we give him credit for going toe-to-toe with the Beast, the fight ends in a cowardly manner. Gaston begs and pleads for his life once the Beast dangles him over the ledge, and when the Beast goes to Belle, Gaston stabs him - again, in the back. Literally. Attacking defenseless targets from behind is a universal sign for “coward,” and Gaston does it twice.
#3: Pennywise
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“It Chapter Two” (2019) The second half of “It” has always been a little rocky, what with the giant spider and all. The 2019 adaptation stayed relatively faithful to the source novel and miniseries but tried something new by having the Losers...taunt Pennywise to death. No, seriously. Throughout two movies and numerous hours, Pennywise is portrayed as this horrible, unimaginably terrifying creature who both taunts and murders children. The literal Eater of Worlds certainly has ego to spare. But when its victims finally decide to fight back, it literally cowers and cries from the verbal insults until it’s left a wrinkly shell of its former shelf. The theme was obvious, but it also made for a really lame and anticlimactic ending.
#2: Carter Burke
“Aliens” (1986) It’s hard to imagine a corporate suit played by Paul Reiser being the least bit intimidating. So he wasn’t. Instead, Burke does the fake friendly thing throughout the entire movie and tries dictating the action from behind the scenes. It was Burke who ordered the colonists to investigate the spaceship, and it was Burke who threw two Facehuggers into the room with Ripley and Newt. All so he could get rich by using the aliens as biological weapons. On top of all that, he is a consummate deceiver. And when it finally comes time to face off against the aliens, Burke runs and hides. Suffice to say, nobody really mourned when he was gobbled up by one. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. The Orphanage Headmaster, “Deadpool 2” (2018) Coward Runs & Begs for Mercy When Confronted Vic Hoskins, “Jurassic World” (2015) He Tries Pleading...with a Raptor Le Chiffre, “Casino Royale” (2006) The Big Bad Is Just a Coward Who Owes Money to More Powerful People Johns, “Pitch Black” (2000) Not Nearly the Tough Mercenary He Portrays Himself to Be Lotso, “Toy Story 3” (2010) Embodies the “Begs for Help Then Screw the Heroes Over Anyway” Trope
#1: Hans Landa
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“Inglourious Basterds” (2009) Throughout most of this movie, Hans Landa acts like the absolute coolest cat in the world. He patronizingly trolls basically everyone he comes across, he kills Jews without remorse, and he thinks he’s untouchable by orchestrating the final ploy of the movie. Nazi Germany was filled with big egos, but Landa’s could fill all of Occupied Europe. That is, until Aldo says “screw the rules” and subjects him to some long-awaited torment. When Landa is on the receiving end of a ploy, he screams, begs, cowers, blubbers, and cries, much like a bully who is finally bullied back. We don’t necessarily blame him. We’re just saying that Baseball Bat Guy showed a lot more bravery than the scary, fearsome Jew Hunter.
