Top 10 Most Disturbing Family Guy Jokes

“The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire”

After discovering Cleveland’s wife Loretta was having an affair with Quagmire, Peter lets Brian know he has a “knack” for telling people bad news. We then cut to a patient getting a grim update from Doctor Hartman. The medical professional decides to leave the brunt of the announcement to a barbershop quintet that includes Peter. In an instant, we get a jaunty song number where a patient is informed that he has AIDS. They repeatedly hammer in the point by going into detail about his diagnosis and how it may have happened. Despite the news being delivered via a song, it was still an incredibly dark gag. Music certainly can’t soften the blow of every announcement.

“Brian & Stewie”

Brian and Stewie have one of the most engaging dynamics on the show. So, when we got a whole episode featuring just the two characters, we were understandably excited. But there was one aspect of the episode that we weren’t exactly thrilled about. After the duo finds themselves stuck in a bank vault, Stewie develops a rash from his filled diaper. The pair finds that the only solution is for Brian to personally get rid of the contents. Luckily, we don’t see it. But boy, do we hear it. We get that the joke is about how dogs are occasionally willing to consume disgusting things. However, the amount of cringing this scene causes kind of overshadows the punchline.

“Play It Again, Brian”

At the start of the “Play It Again, Brian” episode, the dog announces that he has won an award for his essay. As the family congratulates him, Chris sets up a cutaway gag by comparing Brian’s achievement to the first chemotherapy patient to figure out the “handkerchief look.” The setup alone had us prepared for this joke to go into dark territory. We then see an ill guy tying a bandana around his head to cover the hair loss from his treatments. He excitedly tells his wife, and the two exclaim it’s like he “doesn’t even have cancer!” Suddenly, he reports that he has aggressive cancer in a deadpan voice. It was inevitable that this bit of black humor would have such a bleak conclusion.

“Don't Make Me Over”

Sometimes, comedies like “Family Guy” have a way of predicting the future. Viewers definitely suspected they had a crystal ball for this gag. In a 2005 episode set in a mall, Brian dares Stewie to go streaking. While running around, the baby screams that he was previously held captive by Kevin Spacey. The joke didn’t seem that dark until 2017 when a series of news reports alleged that the actor made inappropriate advances towards young people. In light of those revelations, this “Family Guy” clip was widely shared. It appeared that the show had managed to call the actor a full 12 years before public accusations emerged.

“Quagmire's Baby”

Quagmire has a long history of being obsessed with his…physical desires. His carefree lifestyle seemingly catches up with him when his child is left on his doorstep. Naming her Anna Lee just for an innuendo, Quagmire struggles to raise a kid while continuing his activities. He eventually chooses to let her get adopted by a new family. Just as Peter praises him for his sacrifice, Quagmire makes it really inappropriate by saying he may see her in 18 years. No matter how you interpret that phrase, the implications of his statement are incredibly disturbing. Although we get that Quagmire is supposed to be sleazy, this joke seemed like a step too far, even for him.

“Tiegs for Two”

It’s known that “Back to the Future” actor Michael J. Fox has been living with Parkinson’s for decades. “Family Guy” used that public awareness to set up a bit where Peter explained he only has two shirts since the third was ruined by the actor at a wine tasting event. We then see a cutaway monologue of Peter breaking the fourth wall to explain the joke was too sad to show. However, the show immediately reverses course and shows the scene in full. (Xref) It wasn’t the first time Fox was used as a punchline. In “Long John Peter,” they made a cutaway involving the idea of the actor being cast as Zorro. In both cases, his Parksinon’s diagnosis was front and center of their huumor.

“Brian the Closer”

Bonnie has an…interesting relationship with her husband Joe. We get a major hint at their messed up dynamic after Brian gets work as a real estate agent. During a viewing, he shows Bonnie a really slanted house that leads to a cliff overlooking the water. As Brian questions why she’d want such a property, he’s asked to open the sliding door. When he does, she suddenly has a wheelchair with a sack of potatoes that she lets go of. The chair rolls down the slope, off the cliff, and lands on a sharp rock. It’s then pretty clear why Bonnie wants the house. We wish we could tell Joe to move out ASAP before facing a grim fate.

“3 Acts of God”

“Family Guy” has several episodes that feature characters driving after having a few too many drinks. But the most disturbing gag came when The Griffins took part in the ritual of football tailgating. As Peter begins drinking, Lois reminds him that he’s taking them home. He informs her that he knows just how many beers he can have and still drive sensibly. We then see a cutaway of an intoxicated Peter driving erratically. When he gets to his house, he says, “seven.” But after it becomes clear that he hit two members of a family, he changes his answer to “six.” “Family Guy” writer Wellesley Wild stated he was surprised they were allowed to include this joke. We definitely share his surprise.

“Brian Griffin's House of Payne”

As part of a long-running series gag of characters being pushed down the stairs, Chris and Meg accidentally cause their brother Stewie to stumble down steps. He suffers a graphic head wound as a result. Scared of repercussions, the siblings decided to make Stewie look fine and definitely not in some kind of coma. After Peter finds out, he decides to try to shift the blame to Lois and make it look like she was responsible. The final layer of this dark joke sees the mom try to cover up the incident instead of just taking Stewie to the hospital. Between the length of the gag and the shocking punchline, this one of the darkest Stewie bits in the show’s history.

“A Hero Sits Next Door”

Over the years, “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane has made tons of jokes that he enjoys. But there’s one JFK bit that he wouldn’t use today. In the “A Hero Sits Next Door” episode, Peter attempts to stop a bank robbery. When police sharpshooters take aim at him, a nudge from Lois causes a bullet to destroy a John F. Kennedy Pez dispenser that a kid was holding. This reference to the president’s real-life assassination was unbelievably dark. But it wasn’t the only time the show referenced Kennedy’s death. (Xref) In a universe where Mayor McCheese was elected instead, the hamburger is shot before being munched on. It’s unclear if MacFarlane felt like that JFK joke was more or less inappropriate than the first.