Top 10 Nintendo Fails REDUX

Oww my ears! What is that? During their E3 2008 Press Conference, On top of the awkward demos of “Shaun White Snowboarding” and “Wii Sports Resort”, Nintendo managed to make things worse by putting on a concert to demonstrate “Wii Music”. DJ Ravidrums was on stage to play a virtual set of, well, drums. This one-minute performance quickly turned into a one-minute experiment on how much sweat the human body can produce from flailing arms. Follow this up with an off-key performance of the “Super Mario Bros” theme song, and Nintendo cooked up one cringing press conference. Got to give them props for sticking to script, though.

As gaming consoles have advanced throughout the years, certain features have structured themselves as expectations. It’s simple stuff like Wi-Fi support, online connectivity, component video output (or HDMi), and a healthy amount of USB ports for controllers, chargers, and such. Released for $99 USD after the Wii U was already on the market, it only featured composite video output and one USB port. Units were bundled with “Mario Kart Wii”, a game that contains online features. Oh, and no backwards compatibility at all. So, why was this console even made? NES Mini it is most certainly not.

This magnetic disk drive allowed users to take advantage of the expanded storage to download games, create movies & animations, and even online gaming. If this sounds good to you, well, maybe someone should have told Nintendo, because they anticipated that the DD would be commercial failure right out of the gate. As a result, you could only get the console Via Mailorder, and it was technically only available in Japan. Nintendo pulled the plug on the 64DD really quickly though, cancelling production about 14 after release – leaving some 85 thousand units unsold.

Indeed, the Wii U’s library was rich in great games, but the real question is how many of those were exclusive to Wii U and not published by Nintendo? We’re not talking about exclusive titles like Bayonetta 2, as fantastic as it is. But rather the multiplatform titles that you shouldn’t have to buy another console for, like GTA5, The Witcher 3, or Dark Souls. On top of that, 3rd party titles that were released on the Wii U like Watch_Dogs were far inferior versions and missing important features.
Fortunately Nintendo seems to have addressed this issue with the Switch getting a few select 3rd party titles, though time will tell if they can keep this momentum going.

Like an urban legend, these flashback consoles are probably something you’ve heard of, but never seen in person. Taking the form of a glorified $60 emulator, the NES Classic contained 30 of the greatest NES games that graced the original console. Unfortunately, pre-orders were sold out almost instantly, and major retailers suffered low stock numbers. To give you an idea of why it was hard to find: Nintendo stated just before Christmas of 2016 that they had sold 200,000 units in the US alone, a country that has millions of Nintendo Fans. The SNES Classic in 2017 did have a less rocky launch with 2.3 million sales in it’s first month, but still suffered from shortages worldwide. Baby steps guys, baby steps.

It may not be a Nintendo console, but we all know exactly why it’s on this list. Now, we could go on about the overall abysmal quality, but the issue is in the games. Yes, those games. Nintendo licensed some of their properties for the Philips CD-i, which birthed the abominations of “Hotel Mario”, “Zelda: Wand of Gamelon”, “Zelda’s Adventure”, and “Link: The Faces of Evil”. These titles had awful game design and some of the most laughable cutscenes in gaming history. Just look at this! It was a dark time no one talks about, but nobody will ever forget. If we could sum up our feelings for Philips CD-i, this cutscene says it all… (Laugh scene)

Consider this to be Part Two of the Wii U’s demise. After the success of the Wii, many of us anticipated what Nintendo could do to top themselves. Under the name “Project Café”, we didn’t get an idea of the console until its reveal in 2011…which led to more questions. As if the name wasn’t confusing enough, the trailer released kept advertising the tablet while showing people playing with the same-old Wii remotes. Soooo, was this a new console or some peripheral to neglect like the balance board? For Hardcore Nintendo fans; they knew it was a new console. But for your average consumer; it wasn’t properly spelled out.

With Let’s Plays and gaming personalities exploding across YouTube, many companies are hell-bent to try and capitalize on this phenomenon while controlling their image and publicity. Nintendo joined the ranks with EA and Warner Bros in 2015 when they announced their infamous “Nintendo Creators Program” But went way overboard with their restrictions. Basically, you can make videos using Nintendo’s IP, but they get a share of the ad revenue, and your videos must be approved by Nintendo in order to be uploaded. Oh, and you can only make videos for a small selection of approved games. The strict guidelines and dominant attitude created massive backlash, with many high profile Lets Player’s choosing to simply not play Nintendo games. Thus missing out on Free Promotion they desperately needed with the Wii U.

Long before the 3DS, Nintendo had previously attempted to make a step into 3D gaming. Released in 1995, the Virtual Boy was a virtual reality headset that sort of looked like a set of chunky binoculars. It wasn’t much of a technical achievement, either; It used a red monochrome display (explaining the sore eyes) and failed to accomplish the 3D effect. To add insult to injury (quite literally), many players reported discomfort when using the device, with issues ranging from nausea and headaches to neck pain and sore eyes. Credit where credit is due, Nintendo has gone on record to acknowledge this hiccup in history. Good on you, guys!


Before we get to our top pick, here are a few game-ending Dishonorable Mentions:

Wii’s Short term lifespan

e-Reader

Lagging HD Capability

Long before Nintendo and Sony were rivals in the console market, they were originally working together to create a little-known product called the “SNES-CD”, aka “Play Station” (with a space). Unfortunately contractual disagreements caused that partnership end prematurely, and instead, we got those Philips CD-i games we mentioned earlier. Skip ahead to December 1994, Sony found massive success with their new console, the “PlayStation” (no space), establishing themselves as a new competitor to Nintendo. Since then, Sony have gone on to dominate the home console market since their debut, well up to today with the PS4. Talk about getting your ass kicked by your own creation.