Top 10 Pop Songs Not to Listen to Around Your Parents

Maybe your folks remember Christina Aguilera from her “Genie in a Bottle” days or have seen her judging on “The Voice,” and aren’t aware of her Xtina alter ego. If that’s the case, trust us, it’s better that way. There is absolutely nothing implicit about this song and, even if you’re not really listening to the lyrics, it’s pretty impossible to miss the provocative nature of it. If you somehow got away with listening, don’t make the mistake of watching the music video around them either. Rather than see her spin her chair around, your parents will see Aguilera spin her body around and strut into a boxing ring wearing butt-baring chaps.

Talk about awkward family listening party. Even before we get to the opening verse, the intro is replete with “Give it to me now”s, which, you know, don’t have many other meanings. Unfortunately, even if Ludacris’s quick rapping means your parents don’t catch all the lyrics, there are enough “Ahh ahh”s from both him and Shawnna to get the sexually explicit point across. Maybe you have “cool” parents. But, maybe, you should also save yourself the second-hand embarrassment of hearing your parents sing along to this one… Thanks us later.

Gaga is one of those artists who’s so easy to love. She has a catalogue of music far-reaching enough to touch even those who aren’t pop fans. This means that, even your old man is probably familiar with a song or two. Of those, however, you should probably do your best to make sure it’s not “LoveGame.” It’s catchy – just like so many of her hits – but it doesn’t take a ton of ruminating to figure out what “disco stick” is a euphemism for. If you’re with your parents when this one comes on, you’re gonna need to put on your best poker face to hide how uncomfortable you feel.

If you were hoping you could enjoy this catchy hit with your parents without them picking up on the sexual connotations, you should probably think again. Several music critics referred to “Whistle” as “the least subtle song ever”. And with the practically instructional lyrics, we have to agree. If you’re looking for a song with whistling to listen to with your mom and dad, may we suggest Otis Redding’s “(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay” or “Heigh-Ho” from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”. Those are some nice PG picks… Everyone can go ahead and breathe their sigh of relief now.

On the surface Britney Spears’s “If U Seek Amy” isn’t the worst song that could come on in the car with your family. At least, it’s no spicier than other songs by the pop princess. Sure, there is some talk about drinking and partying and there are some subtle sexual references - but nothing too awkward, and we spend most of the song wondering just where Amy is. Of course, this is until you hear the title sung together. Honestly, we can’t even be mad at this. Pop off, phonetics queen!

Something tells us we don’t really have to explain this one. Despite the incredibly, ahem, overt lyrics, Rihanna told SPIN magazine that she was thinking more in metaphorical terms when she wrote the lyrics. She said, “It’s more of a thing to say that [...] people are going to talk about you, you can’t stop that. You just have to be that strong person and know who you are [...]”. That’s all well and good, but we still can’t listen to this in front of our parents, RiRi! We’re strong, but not that strong.

Sure, you might be able to get through the first verse without too many problems. The guy’s just a bachelor looking for a partner. What’s wrong with that, right? But then comes that chorus and there’s no more convincing your guardians that this is just an innocent song about an equine under 4 feet. Maybe if you cough loudly every time Ginuwine hits the chorus, your parents won’t be able to hear the worst of it. But, given how repetitive the lyrics are, you might just have to fake a cold. And then we run into a whole other set of Ferris Bueller-related problems…

If anything, what this song has taught us is that, if you want the younger generation to care about math, have Ariana Grande write a song with a math problem in the title. We’re pretty sure her fans were quick to put two and two together – or should we say 34 and 35. Mental math FTW, maybe! But, even if the sexual innuendo of the equation is somehow lost on your parents, Grande puts aside all subtlety in the chorus. You don’t need a calculator to understand the lyrics, that’s for sure.

So, okay, we wanted to have the explicit title here, but YouTube censors are all kinds of strict. Either way, even the altered title says pretty much everything you need to know about what’s going on. You might get away with listening to the clean version of this song, but you’ll probably be less lucky with the explicit one – there’s just no getting around that. In any case, we would avoid the music video at all costs because, while the title might have been given a more innocent re-working, the accompanying visuals weren’t given the same treatment.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

“2 Become 1” (1996), Spice Girls
Honestly, This Is a Pretty Sweet Euphemism

“Red Light Special” (1995), TLC
This Sexual Roadmap Is Not a Trip You Want to Picture Your Parents Taking

“You Oughta Know” (1995) Alanis Morissette
It’ll Feel Like You Just Swallowed a Jagged Little Pill Listening to This One with Your Parents

“Lady Marmalade” (2001), Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa & Pink
If You Speak French, Skip This One!

“It Wasn't Me” (2000), Shaggy feat. RikRok
You Caught Us on Camera Listening to This Song with Our Parents? It Wasn’t Us!

While the song’s title stops just short of explicit parent-friendly language, the song itself barely has a line that won’t leave your parents aghast and you diving for the off button. Khia’s sexually explicit lyrics feature step-by-step demands of her lovers. And, let’s just say there’s no stone left unturned - or unlicked. Khia’s words – not ours! The anthem is so brash and graphic we wouldn’t even want our parents reading this entry, let alone hearing the song with us anywhere in the room, the house, possibly even the country!