Top 10 Problems in Running a Jurassic Park

Sure, it sounds like a cool idea, but the obstacles would be GIANT! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the Top 10 Challenges to Running a Jurassic Theme Park.

For this list, we’re taking a look at all the hurdles that a company would face in opening a real life Jurassic Park or Jurassic World.

You can’t have a Jurassic theme park without dinosaurs, and you can’t have dinosaurs without dino DNA. In the original “Jurassic Park,” it’s explained that scientists were able to obtain the DNA of dinosaurs from mosquitoes that had been fossilized in amber. Tracking down a dinosaur’s genetic code isn’t quite as easy as Mr. DNA makes it sound. But even just digging for those elusive mosquitoes in amber would require an insane amount of labor, time, and money. Plus, acquiring the blood sample would only be the first step in an extremely complex process.

We know what you’re thinking. We’ve been eager to see a living Brontosaurus or Tyrannosaurus for over 65 million years. So how could people grow bored with dinosaurs? Let’s be honest, though. Humans have short attention spans, especially in an era dominated by screens and social media. In “Jurassic World,” park attendance has dipped because dinosaurs have become run-of-the-mill after years of operation. People might be awestruck the first time a dinosaur stomps by, but after two or three times, some will be more interested in whatever’s trending on Twitter. As is the case with any amusement park, you’d need new attractions to keep visitors coming back . . . but we wouldn’t recommend creating a dinosaur you can’t handle like the Indominus rex.

It shouldn’t take more than a danger sign to tell visitors that dinosaurs may be inclined to step on, charge at, or eat whoever enters their pens. Given the number of people who’ve actually ventured into zoo exhibits, however, it’s safe to assume that some visitors would treat a Jurassic theme park as their own personal playground. Jumping into a lion pit is bad enough, but imagine how much worse it would be if the pit were full of raptors! It doesn’t help that in “Jurassic Park,” guests can hop out of jeeps mid-tour, and in “Jurassic World” they’re able to take control of Gyrospheres. Unless everybody takes the rules to heart, the dinosaurs might not be the only ones who require tracking devices.

A trainer at a Jurassic theme park would require not only vast knowledge animal behavior, but also specialized training to face such massive predators. Former Naval officer Owen Grady successfully manages to train four raptors, developing a bond with each of them and becoming the alpha. Of course, when the Indominus enters the mix, it doesn’t take long for the pack to turn on the humans. Even if a trainer manages to earn a dinosaur’s trust and respect, these are still unpredictable creatures that can turn hostile in the blink of an eye. In other words, this ain’t a job for your friendly neighborhood zookeeper. Simply finding people willing and able to take on this life-threatening gig would be a challenge in itself.

If animal rights groups protests zoos and aquariums, you’d better believe that they’d have some passionate feelings about a Jurassic theme park too. Locking up dinosaurs and displaying them for the amusement of consumers is already bound to push a few buttons. The fact that some of these dinosaurs need to eat other animals to survive would only make the park more controversial. Activists may take a page from John Hammond himself, arguing that dinosaurs require our absence rather than our help. A dinosaur theme park would need a strong PR campaign, tight security, and large, open enclosures for the animals’ well-being.

As mentioned before, there’s always a possibility that somebody will hop the fence and become the T-Rex’s new favorite meal. Even if you prevent the dinosaurs from snacking on the guests, you’re going to need a lot of goats to keep every carnivore well-fed - which is both costly and, obviously, not great for the goats. The herbivores could pose a problem as well since you’d have to keep enough grass and trees growing all over the island. Park employees would also have to closely monitor what the dinosaurs ate to make sure they didn’t get sick and maintained a proper diet.

Before Jurassic Park even opens to the public, Dennis Nedry dooms the project by shutting the power down. In addition to stopping the tour jeeps in their tracks, this also deactivates the electrical fences, resulting in a disastrous dino breakout. Hammond realizes that the park relied too heavily on automation, as it only takes one disgruntled employee to throw a wrench into the system. Human error aside, a bad storm could always kick in and cause an electrical outage. To prevent a similar catastrophe, you’ll need reliable backup generators, employees on standby to escort guests to safety, and more than one person who can get the park back online.

No matter how foolproof you think the park is, you have to accept the fact that all hell could break lose at any time. So, be prepared for the worst. Surround the island with enough ferries and helicopters to get people off the island at a moment’s notice. Build multiple evacuation centers that can hold all those visitors and are strong enough to keep rampaging dinosaurs out. Before anyone even enters the park, make them watch a video detailing what to do in case of an emergency. Sure, your park wouldn’t seem like the safest place to visit from a public relations perspective. You’ll have a bigger PR nightmare on your hands, however, without a proper escape plan.

John Hammond claims he spared no expense, but exactly how much would it cost to make a Jurassic theme park a reality? On top of cloning costs, you might want to build your park on a remote island to avoid dinosaurs escaping into human habitats. And islands don’t exactly come cheap. There’s also the matter of paying numerous employees, ranging from dinosaur caretakers, to scientists, to gift shop clerks, not to mention lawyers who are ready to defend the park in court… even if it means getting eaten on the toilet. Speaking of which, given the risk of accidents, insurance rates are gonna be through the roof. You’d have to charge a pretty penny to keep a place like this operational and profitable.

Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:

Transportation Breaking Down

Getting Good Wi-Fi & Cell Reception

Preventing Other Species from Going Extinct

Natural Disasters

Picking Up Huge Piles of Poop

In the “Jurassic” movies, the fatal flaw in each park is that the dinosaurs just won’t stay contained. Whether it’s due to design flaws, poor security, a lack of communication, or angry employees, the dinosaurs always find to way to get out and eat people. It’s a worst-case, nightmare scenario, but preventing it would also be the biggest challenge . . . especially with a clever girl like the Indominus rex around. Once the dinosaurs were roaming free, you might as well give them the keys to the park. Granted, with the right people running the show and the right system, you may think everything is under control. But when it comes to mother nature, control can be just an illusion.