Top 10 Reasons Chief Wiggum Should Be Fired
#10: He’s Incredibly Lazy
Various
Chief Wiggum would much rather take a nap than solve a case. It’s not unusual to find him sleeping on the job or otherwise ignoring his duties. In one episode, he goes after a reckless Homer and Snake, brawling on top of a car. Their crime? In the words of Wiggum, “Waking a police officer.” In another, he ignores an emergency call while waiting for a lottery drawing to be announced, claiming the number they dialed is actually 9-1-2. While it’s important to be rested for your job, Chief Wiggum definitely takes it a step too far. Then again, with his intelligence, maybe he’s better off sleeping.
#9: Buying Smoothies Instead of Finding Lisa
“Smart & Smarter”
Like Homer, Chief Wiggum has a hard time saying no to his appetite. But even the Simpson father would know better than to get something to drink instead of looking for a missing child. In Season 15’s “Smart & Smarter,” Lisa, jealous of baby Maggie’s newly discovered intellect, runs away from home. Homer and Marge enlist the help of Springfield’s finest, and Wiggum’s first proposal is to buy some smoothies. Lisa is eventually found safe, and she helps Maggie to save their family, but, as per usual, Chief Wiggum provides little more than hilarious incompetence.
#8: He Mistreats Lou
Various
Great bosses inspire their employees to be the best they possibly can. That doesn’t describe Chief Wiggum, who regularly treats Officer Lou as a nuisance that he can’t stand listening to. The worst part? Lou is usually right, and Wiggum completely refuses to heed his common sense. In one episode, Wiggum arrests an innocent Sideshow Bob despite Lou informing him that his brother already confessed to the crime. In “The Simpsons Movie,” Lou tells him Fat Tony and his mafia crew are likely disposing of a body, not yard trimmings, as they claim, and Wiggum once again undercuts him. In any city besides Springfield, Lou would be the one calling the shots.
#7: He Medicated Ralph from the Evidence Locker
“Midnight Rx”
Chief Wiggum definitely seems to love his son, Ralph, but a loving father isn’t always a good one. In Season 16’s “Midnight Rx,” a prescription drug crisis causes the people of Springfield to go to desperate lengths to get their much-needed pills. Wiggum turns to using contraband drugs in the evidence locker to treat his son. Immediately, the effects of these inappropriate medications are shown, with Ralph’s pupils dilating to an impossible size and him exclaiming a classic Ralphism. Someone needs to call the police on this police officer, along with Child Protective Services.
#6: He Didn't Help Apu & Manjula Save Their Kids
“Eight Misbehavin’”
If you need help getting your kids back, don’t expect Chief Wiggum to help. In this episode, Apu and Manjula’s octuplet babies are held hostage at a zoo for a live entertainment show. So, they go down to the police station to try and enlist Wiggum’s help. Right away, Wiggum says he's powerless, and it's immediately clear that he's been bought off, as shown by the giant sack of elephant-grade peanuts right beside him. The octuplets are saved, but once again, the characters - and viewers - see just how useless Chief Wiggum is when it comes to helping the citizens of his town.
#5: Didn’t Believe the Liquor Store Robbery
“Bart Gets an Elephant”
It’s good to have some skepticism, but not to the level of Chief Wiggum. When Bart’s elephant, Stampy, goes on a rampage, the police department receives plenty of calls about his destruction. We can understand Wiggum not believing these. But right after, he answers one about a liquor store robbery involving an officer who’s been shot. His bored demeanor and sarcastic responses alone are enough to disqualify him for his job, but it’s also clear that Wiggum’s inaction actually makes his community even more dangerous. Did he read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” one too many times?
#4: Telling Bart to Jump
“The Boys of Bummer”
Chief Wiggum has the power to speak out against mistreatment and help people feel safe. But he’d much rather add to the pile-on. In this Season 18 episode, Bart causes his baseball team to lose the championship and him to become hated by everyone in town. This torment gets so bad, he climbs up a water tower, ready to plunge to his death. A crowd forms to watch, which includes our not-so-sensitive chief. After everyone else agrees they’re no longer angry at Bart, a voice is heard from a bullhorn, telling him to jump. Who else could it have been?
#3: Releasing Snake & Other Criminals from Jail
“Lisa on Ice”
All of these items are worthy of firing. But this one is grounds for Chief Wiggum being locked up himself. When Bart and Lisa’s hockey teams face off against each other, Bart’s coach, Wiggum, visits the jail to tell Snake and others they can come watch the game if they promise to return to the jail. Despite Snake telling him that’s not going to happen, Wiggum then offers to let them out for good if they give up their criminal lifestyles. Snake still says no, but Wiggum’s not hearing it. Predictably, things end up in chaos. Hey, at least Snake knows about the importance of honesty.
#2: Shooting the Captain of the High School Basketball Team
“Treehouse of Horror VI”
Now, this is a Halloween episode, so it’s technically not canon. However, it’s not too far from something Wiggum would do in a normal episode. When giant advertising mascots come to life and run amok in Springfield, Chief Wiggum quickly puts an end to one leaving a big and tall clothing shop. But his cockiness is quickly cut short when Lou informs him he actually shot the captain of the high school basketball team. Wiggum’s sheepish reasoning that “he was turning into a monster” wouldn’t hold up in any court. To be fair, that’s one tall high schooler.
Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
He Destroyed the Church
“Sky Police”
Stealing Money from Evidence Locker for Ralph's Birthday Party
“Simprovised”
He Didn't Stop the Ogdenvillians from Entering the Border
“Coming to Homerica”
#1: His Corruption
Various
Chief Wiggum is all about “protect and serve.” That is, if we’re talking about protecting himself and serving his own interests. He’ll misuse his power in a myriad of ways, from bashing out Homer’s taillight after Lisa hurts Ralph’s feelings, to allowing his officers to keep counterfeit jeans discovered at a crime scene. And we can’t talk about Wiggum without talking about how eager he is to take a bribe. With the Springfield Police badge reading “Cash bribes only,” he’s not the only one at fault. But it’s still clear that Wiggum is just too corrupt for his - and the town’s - own good.