Top 10 RIDICULOUS Lies North Korea Has Told the World

Kim Jong-il, North Korea's leader from 1994 until his death in 2011, was amazing at . . . well, everything. According to official biographies, he could walk at just three weeks old and talk at eight. That's not all. As a college student, he wrote 1,500 books in three years and composed six operas that are apparently “better than any in the history of music." But his most incredible achievement might be scoring 38 under par on his first ever round of golf– including 11 hole-in-ones. It's no surprise then that the first time he bowled he scored a perfect 300. Incredible.

Like father like son. When Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-il's successor, took over leadership, he needed some legends of his own. In 2015, a manual called “Kim Jong-un's Revolutionary Activities” was issued to teachers directing them to instruct students that their new supreme leader could drive a car at just three years old. The account does raise some questions. Was he actually driving? Or just in the car when Jong-il forgot to put on the handbrake? Was it a motorcar, a pedal car? A champion of land, Kim Jong-un has also braved the high seas, where he has “won” at least one yacht race against a foreign executive when he was 9 years old.

Has your stomach ever hurt from holding in gas? When Kim Jong-il went out on dates, he never had that problem. According to his official biography, he never pooped or peed. His dazzling physique was so efficient he expelled neither number one, number two, or any fraction in between. No, Jong-il's incredible mind-control extended from his bowels to the weather, which reputedly changed with his moods. Perhaps not surprising for a man who was born on a volcanic mountain in North Korea beneath a blazing star and a double-rainbow. So much for records stating he was born in a small fishing village in the Soviet Union. Boring!

For a guy who was 5ft3, Kim Jong-il really hated short people – a fact that might explain his pompadour hair and platform shoes. According to a former tutor, in preparation for the World Festival of Youth and Students in 1989, Kim Jong-il removed disabled residents from the capital and commissioned pamphlets advertising a cure for shortness. But – surprise – it was a trap: respondents were exiled to uninhabited islands. Several defectors allege that the government has established a remote dwarf village, for people less than four feet tall. Residents are forced to undergo sterilization so they do not pollute the “purity” of the race.

After World War II, the Allies divided Korea into two zones: the Soviet-occupied north and US-occupied south. In 1948, the “Democratic” People's Republic of Korea was born, under dictator Kim Il-sung. But just how “democratic” is North Korea? Well, according to the always-reliable Korean Central News Agency, democracy in the one-party state is thriving. The 2014 parliamentary elections boasted a 99.97% turnout, with 100% of voters approving the candidates chosen for their districts. Of course, there was only one name on each ballot. In North Korean elections, voters can reject candidates by crossing their name off with a red pen, or dropping their ballots into a different box – all under the watchful eye of government officials. Shockingly, not one person did. Now that's democracy.

How do they do it? Another scientific breakthrough from North Korea, with the Korean Central News Agency recently reporting that state scientists have developed a cure for AIDS. Also Mers, a viral respiratory disease. And bird flu. And Ebola. And tuberculosis. And cancer. Oh yeah, and “harm from computers”. In short, except for shortness, if you've got it, North Korea can fix it. Because, as manufacturer and distributor Pugang Pharmaceutical Company puts it, “Everyone has the right to be healthy.” Called Kumdang-2, the drug's ingredients include ginseng grown from fertilizer mixed with rare earth elements and “micro-quantities of gold and platinum” because... of course it does.

What would you do if you controlled everything that people knew? If you could make people believe anything you wanted? Tell them you invented hamburgers, obviously. In the late 90s, North Korea suffered a brutal famine causing widespread malnutrition that continues today. According to state-run newspaper Minju Joson, in 2000 Kim Jong-il created a sandwich to provide quality food for university students. He called it “double bread with meat”... otherwise known as a “hamburger”. This also raises a number of unanswered questions. Did he also invent fries? Did he also invent the deep fried apple pie? Why not claim to have also invented chocolate? Or Oreos?

Remember 2010, the year that Kim Jong-il's trademark zip-up khaki tunic with matching pants took the fashion world by storm? From the catwalks of Paris to the streets of New York. Why, the Kim Jong-il look has made being fashionable a breeze! At least according to a North Korean state-controlled website, which claimed that the supreme leader's iconic look had become a popular fashion trend across the globe, thanks to the Great General's aura of greatness. So this might not have been entirely true... and quick look in any direction would seem to thoroughly debunk it.

In 2012, Korean media reported that archaeologists had reconfirmed the existence of a “unicorn lair” where King Tongmyong, founder of the ancient Koguryo Kingdom, rode a unicorn. How did they know it was a unicorn lair? Rainbow hair? A stool sample consisting of skittles? Nope. The words were carved into the stone. To be fair, the word “unicorn” was actually a translation of the Korean word “kirin”, a different mythical horned creature. And some commentators argued the report was meant only to reconfirm the location of a historical site, better translated as “Kirin's Grotto”. Intended or nor, the news outlet's own wording did seem to implicate the existence of such a creature. This is one story the world wouldn't mind North Korea being right about.

At the annual Mass Games, spectators are treated to a breathtaking spectacle of artistic and athletic performance that reinforces the state's claim North Korea is happy, prosperous, and an enviable nation. In fact, outside of the capital poverty is extensive and malnutrition is widespread. Regardless, state propaganda also insists that deceased leader Kim Jong-il was revered around the world. After all, everyone loves the guy who invented hamburgers. What can you have against a man who didn't poop? The truth is that Kim Jong-il lived the life of the rich and famous while hundreds of thousands of his people died of famine, and North Korea was accused of having one of the worst human rights records in the world.

Do you agree with our list? Which North Korean lie did you find the most hilarious? For more truthful top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.