Top 10 Scenarios the Hero Couldn't Have Survived

If we’re being honest, there seem to be a few scenes in this movie where the phrase “that doesn’t seem realistic” would be appropriate. But the coup-de-grace comes towards the end, when it becomes obvious that we need to stop playing along. A couple of divorcees hunker down against an F5 mega tornado and decide to ride it out by taking shelter in a dilapidated shed and strapping themselves to a pipe with a leather belt. Punk-ass tornado.

When they were watching this movie, audiences clearly didn’t get that John McClane is actually invincible. Unbreakable, if you will. Clearly he’d have to be, particularly if he’s driving a semi playing chicken with a jet, then jumping onto said jet, surfing the wing, and jumping back off again before it explodes. By this point in the franchise, McClane’s aging frame isn’t gonna be stopped by things like physics or the limitations of the human body. That’s for the bad guys.

From what we can tell, when you’re running from a missile strike on a bridge, chances are you’ll survive the blast. Better yet, if the missile should strike the truck you’re running from and you happen to be blasted into a neighboring car, you’ll just shake it off and keep on evading. There’s really nothing that can stop you, particularly if you’re some form of secret agent and especially if you’re Tom Cruise.

For a cop with an apparent death wish, he seems to be exceptionally skilled at never having that particular wish granted. The fact that Riggs didn’t die in at least the first movie could be a testament to some sort of divine intervention. Or maybe taking an axe to the skull, being dragged across concrete, being tortured and being shot in the chest really isn’t as deadly as it seems. Not that we’d like to find out firsthand.

He’s been shot at almost five thousand times throughout the course of the franchise’s history and still, 007 has failed to catch a fatal cap. And even in “Skyfall,” when it looked like our dashing agent may have bitten the big one after being shot and tumbling into a river; it turned out he really just wanted to quit the biz. Seems like you only live way more than twice.

We’re aware that the entire premise of these films is a little wacky: he’s a hitman who needs to keep his heart in proper working order with frequent bursts of adrenaline. However, it does make for non-stop action, which is basically an excuse to put the protagonist in ridiculous situation after ridiculous situation. Most notably, we get to watch Chev Chelios somehow survive a fall from a helicopter, and even make it through a completely unsterile session of open-heart surgery.

With acting powerhouses Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Damme headlining the film, you kinda already know you’re in for some treats. Aside from the obvious silliness of this “odd couple” pairing, we get to see a shirtless Rodman and Van Damme manage to somehow not be burned to death in a massive explosion. Whatever could they use to shield themselves form the blast? Why a Coke machine, of course! Product placement comes through every time.

When assassins turn on each other, it’s never pretty – even if the assassins are. Too bad this particular band of killers, who kill for a living, managed to both overkill and underkill their target at the same time. You’d think that being shot in the head and the chest, and being buried alive would be enough to 86 the average Joe or Jane. But clearly, a desire for vengeance is all you need to cheat death.

We’ve come to expect a particular brand of absurdity from Syfy channel movies, but this one goes the extra mile. Obviously, when sharks somehow manage to be swept up in waterspouts, their number one priority is to eat whatever enters their line of vision. Apparently, they don’t chew their food either, so when a woman falls from a helicopter into one of their mouths and is later rescued via chainsaw, she manages to emerge completely unscathed. Obviously.

Before we marvel at the luck of our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Gearless Mountain Hop “Rambo” (1982)
- Throat Slashed “Lawless” (2012)
- Not So Hot Dog “Independence Day” (1996)

Indy probably should’ve died back when he dropped out of that plane with a raft as a parachute, but we’re not gonna split hairs. One of the marvels of the universe is how this character survives against all odds. Particularly when those odds are a nuclear bomb and the only safe haven is a refrigerator. Assuming he didn’t die from the blast, certainly the impact from his collisions with the ground would’ve at least broken some bones? Or killed one of the numerous CGI gophers?

Do you agree with our list? What scenarios do you think the hero couldn’t have survived? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.