Top 10 Thieves and Robbers on Television

Fernando Sucre is far from the worst felon at Fox River. Robbing a liquor store, Sucre politely only takes $100 to give his girlfriend a taste of the good life. He steals a little more the second time to buy an engagement ring, landing him in the slammer. While Sucre begins as an average criminal, he becomes one of America’s most wanted men after helping his cellmate execute a prison break. On the run, Sucre remains loyal to his friends and his armed robbery skills still occasionally come in handy.

Where the Winchesters use their connection to the supernatural world to assist others, Bela Talbot is all about exploiting it for her own financial gain. A notable player throughout the show’s third season, this tricky con-woman will screw over anyone to get her mitts on powerful objects like the Hand of Glory and mojo bag. Although Bela rakes in the cash by selling stolen treasures to wealthy clients, all that money can’t buy back her soul. For her sins and for trusting the wrong demons, she pays the ultimate price.

Of all the incarcerated ladies on “Orange is the New Black,” Miss Rosa is one of the most empathetic and lovable. Nobody messes with this aging inmate as she suffers from terminal cancer. When a person does get on her bad side, though, she will punish them for their rude conduct. Despite her innocent, frail appearance, Miss Rosa’s complex backstory comes complete with a series of bank robberies and a proportionate amount of fallen lovers. Although her days are numbered, she maintains a lively spirit that can’t be broken.

Starting off his criminal career as a cat burglar, Salvatore Bonpensiero earned the nickname of “Pussy Cat.” When he fell into the big leagues alongside Tony Soprano, he was upgraded to “Big Pussy.” Over time, his area of expertise switches from theft to heroin trafficking, which lands him in hot water with the FBI, influencing Big Pussy to sell out his Mafia family. While a backstabber, Big Pussy still manages to steal our affection. In the end, however, he leaves Tony heartbroken and a hysterectomy is ordered on Pussy.

The Pontiac Bandit is Jake Peralta’s white whale, or his black whale if you want to get technical. Their history has yet to be fully divulged, but it’s clear Doug has slipped through Jake’s fingers numerous times. Even when he’s in custody, Doug knows he’s going to get out using his wit and charms. What makes Doug even more infuriating to Jake is that he’s actually a fun-loving guy. If they weren’t on opposite sides of the law, these two could have a flourishing friendship involving room service and robes.

This jailbird family comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. Each gang member has a distinguishing personality trait, which range from obsessing over food to obsessing over Bebop. These brothers are united through their common goal to raid Scrooge McDuck’s money bin under the leadership of Ma Beagle. She’s often the first to flee from the police, but will always break her sons out with a baked good. The Beagle Boys have yet to succeed in robbing Scrooge, but they do consistently give him a run for his money.

How could we leave the self-proclaimed King of Thieves off this list? An unlikely companion of Hercules and Xena, Autolycus stole numerous goodies and scenes on both these series. Since he’s a bit like a cross between Jack Sparrow and Han Solo, it’s always a ton of fun whenever this sarcastic scoundrel makes an appearance. Bruce Campbell is perfectly suited to play the overly confident rapscallion who isn’t nearly as charming as he thinks, but does possess a strong moral code and heart of gold. Just don’t ask him about his brother.

Bender might have been manufactured for bending purposes, but his true talents lie in the art of burglary. Whether he’s targeting a random sucker or one of his “Futurama” co-stars, Bender shows little restraint in pickpocketing them. This robot can’t keep his shiny, metal hands off anything, be it jewelry, wallets, or even his best friend’s blood. On rare occasions, Bender’s conscience will remind him that his loved ones are more important than material possessions. He’ll always do the wrong thing before doing the right thing, however.

Although Springfield’s notorious cat burglar almost stole this spot, no criminal has committed more thefts in this small town than Snake. Due to Chief Wiggum’s incompetence, it never takes long for him to break out of jail. When not combing his hair or smoking a cigarette, Snake can be found holding up Apu and occasionally even the Simpsons themselves. It’s hard to believe this convenience store robber was at one point an archaeologist. After Moe robbed him of his treasure, though, Snake turned his back on that life and said, “Bye!”

Before we catch our top pick red-handed, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Creed
“The Office” (2005-13)
- Dennis Stanton
“Murder, She Wrote” (1984-96)
- Saffron
“Firefly” (2002-03)
- Max Guevara
“Dark Angel” (2000-02)
- Neal Caffrey
“White Collar” (2009-14)

In his pilfering heyday, Earl would rob anyone blind, including a deaf woman. Arguably the most despicable thief on this list, Earl also has the most to rectify. After karma hits him with a car, this mustached crook finally realizes the error of his ways. With a list of his mistakes in one hand and a winning lottery ticket in the other, he aspires to set things right with those he wronged. That’s easier said than done, especially since NBC robbed “My Name is Earl” of a proper ending.

Do you agree with our list? Who’s your favorite TV thief? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.