Top 10 Things Badass Video Game Characters Cannot Do
We know video games require some limitations, but these are just ridiculous. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Things Badass Video Game Characters Cannot Do.
For this list, we're taking a look at video game characters with amazing abilities that are unable to perform easy, everyday tasks.
Top 10 Things Badass Video Game Characters Cannot Do
We know video games require some limitations, but these are just ridiculous. Welcome to WatchMojo.com and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the Top 10 Things Badass Video Game Characters Cannot Do.
For this list, we’re taking a look at video game characters with amazing abilities that are unable to perform easy, everyday tasks.
#10: Say No to a Challenge
Sporadic battles are commonplace in most role-playing games. While these battles will help your characters to gain experience points and level up, occasionally you just want to get on with the main quest. Alas, some characters are simply incapable of rejecting a fight. In the “Pokémon” games for example, there’s always a fellow trainer waiting to challenge you around every corner. As much as you’d like to peacefully pass by, saying no is never an option. This is especially frustrating when you’re almost completely drained of health. Since you can’t flee, however, you have no choice but to accept that it’s game over.
#9: Remove Under Garments
A lot of video games allow the player to dress their character however they see fit. You can even make them casually run around in their underwear and nobody will bat an eye. One thing that you can never seem to do, though, is have your character walk around in their birthday suit. Why do so many characters draw the line at taking off their tighty-whities? Don’t they eventually have to bathe? What if they need to get a colonoscopy? Hasn’t anybody ever heard of going commando? Of course if you really want to get naked in a game, you can always play “Saint’s Row”
#8: Hold a Gun and Flashlight at the Same Time
One can only do such much with two hands, but we’re pretty sure that you can carry both a gun and a flashlight simultaneously. Apparently this is too difficult for your character in “Doom 3,” though. So you have to keep switching between these two items, which is especially inconvenient considering that danger is always lurking in the dark. Alan Wake can carry his gun and flashlight at the same time! Link can carry his sword and lantern at the same time, if you count attaching it to his belt! Why can’t you multi-task here? At the very least get a gun with a flashlight attached to it. Seriously, this is simple logic!
#7: Make Decisions for Themselves
A fair deal of modern games are driven by choice, like the “Mass Effect” trilogy and, to another extent, “The Stanley Parable.” For the most part, however, video games leave free will out of the equation, giving characters specific objectives to complete with no alternative. Mario has to save the princess. Donkey Kong has to reclaim his hoard of bananas. Franklin HAS to help that stupid Paparazzi (if he makes the mistake of getting to close). These video game characters are always being manipulated by their surroundings and controlled by a grand puppet master, incapable of making any decisions for themselves. Gee, things just got pretty philosophical.
#6: Break Down Wooden Doors
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
We know video games require some limitations, but these are just ridiculous. Welcome to WatchMojo.com and today we’ll be counting down our picks for the Top 10 Things Badass Video Game Characters Cannot Do.
For this list, we’re taking a look at video game characters with amazing abilities that are unable to perform easy, everyday tasks.
#10: Say No to a Challenge
Sporadic battles are commonplace in most role-playing games. While these battles will help your characters to gain experience points and level up, occasionally you just want to get on with the main quest. Alas, some characters are simply incapable of rejecting a fight. In the “Pokémon” games for example, there’s always a fellow trainer waiting to challenge you around every corner. As much as you’d like to peacefully pass by, saying no is never an option. This is especially frustrating when you’re almost completely drained of health. Since you can’t flee, however, you have no choice but to accept that it’s game over.
#9: Remove Under Garments
A lot of video games allow the player to dress their character however they see fit. You can even make them casually run around in their underwear and nobody will bat an eye. One thing that you can never seem to do, though, is have your character walk around in their birthday suit. Why do so many characters draw the line at taking off their tighty-whities? Don’t they eventually have to bathe? What if they need to get a colonoscopy? Hasn’t anybody ever heard of going commando? Of course if you really want to get naked in a game, you can always play “Saint’s Row”
#8: Hold a Gun and Flashlight at the Same Time
One can only do such much with two hands, but we’re pretty sure that you can carry both a gun and a flashlight simultaneously. Apparently this is too difficult for your character in “Doom 3,” though. So you have to keep switching between these two items, which is especially inconvenient considering that danger is always lurking in the dark. Alan Wake can carry his gun and flashlight at the same time! Link can carry his sword and lantern at the same time, if you count attaching it to his belt! Why can’t you multi-task here? At the very least get a gun with a flashlight attached to it. Seriously, this is simple logic!
#7: Make Decisions for Themselves
A fair deal of modern games are driven by choice, like the “Mass Effect” trilogy and, to another extent, “The Stanley Parable.” For the most part, however, video games leave free will out of the equation, giving characters specific objectives to complete with no alternative. Mario has to save the princess. Donkey Kong has to reclaim his hoard of bananas. Franklin HAS to help that stupid Paparazzi (if he makes the mistake of getting to close). These video game characters are always being manipulated by their surroundings and controlled by a grand puppet master, incapable of making any decisions for themselves. Gee, things just got pretty philosophical.
#6: Break Down Wooden Doors
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
Sporadic battles are commonplace in most role-playing games. While these battles will help your characters to gain experience points and level up, occasionally you just want to get on with the main quest. Alas, some characters are simply incapable of rejecting a fight. In the “Pokémon” games for example, there’s always a fellow trainer waiting to challenge you around every corner. As much as you’d like to peacefully pass by, saying no is never an option. This is especially frustrating when you’re almost completely drained of health. Since you can’t flee, however, you have no choice but to accept that it’s game over.
#9: Remove Under Garments
A lot of video games allow the player to dress their character however they see fit. You can even make them casually run around in their underwear and nobody will bat an eye. One thing that you can never seem to do, though, is have your character walk around in their birthday suit. Why do so many characters draw the line at taking off their tighty-whities? Don’t they eventually have to bathe? What if they need to get a colonoscopy? Hasn’t anybody ever heard of going commando? Of course if you really want to get naked in a game, you can always play “Saint’s Row”
#8: Hold a Gun and Flashlight at the Same Time
One can only do such much with two hands, but we’re pretty sure that you can carry both a gun and a flashlight simultaneously. Apparently this is too difficult for your character in “Doom 3,” though. So you have to keep switching between these two items, which is especially inconvenient considering that danger is always lurking in the dark. Alan Wake can carry his gun and flashlight at the same time! Link can carry his sword and lantern at the same time, if you count attaching it to his belt! Why can’t you multi-task here? At the very least get a gun with a flashlight attached to it. Seriously, this is simple logic!
#7: Make Decisions for Themselves
A fair deal of modern games are driven by choice, like the “Mass Effect” trilogy and, to another extent, “The Stanley Parable.” For the most part, however, video games leave free will out of the equation, giving characters specific objectives to complete with no alternative. Mario has to save the princess. Donkey Kong has to reclaim his hoard of bananas. Franklin HAS to help that stupid Paparazzi (if he makes the mistake of getting to close). These video game characters are always being manipulated by their surroundings and controlled by a grand puppet master, incapable of making any decisions for themselves. Gee, things just got pretty philosophical.
#6: Break Down Wooden Doors
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
A lot of video games allow the player to dress their character however they see fit. You can even make them casually run around in their underwear and nobody will bat an eye. One thing that you can never seem to do, though, is have your character walk around in their birthday suit. Why do so many characters draw the line at taking off their tighty-whities? Don’t they eventually have to bathe? What if they need to get a colonoscopy? Hasn’t anybody ever heard of going commando? Of course if you really want to get naked in a game, you can always play “Saint’s Row”
#8: Hold a Gun and Flashlight at the Same Time
One can only do such much with two hands, but we’re pretty sure that you can carry both a gun and a flashlight simultaneously. Apparently this is too difficult for your character in “Doom 3,” though. So you have to keep switching between these two items, which is especially inconvenient considering that danger is always lurking in the dark. Alan Wake can carry his gun and flashlight at the same time! Link can carry his sword and lantern at the same time, if you count attaching it to his belt! Why can’t you multi-task here? At the very least get a gun with a flashlight attached to it. Seriously, this is simple logic!
#7: Make Decisions for Themselves
A fair deal of modern games are driven by choice, like the “Mass Effect” trilogy and, to another extent, “The Stanley Parable.” For the most part, however, video games leave free will out of the equation, giving characters specific objectives to complete with no alternative. Mario has to save the princess. Donkey Kong has to reclaim his hoard of bananas. Franklin HAS to help that stupid Paparazzi (if he makes the mistake of getting to close). These video game characters are always being manipulated by their surroundings and controlled by a grand puppet master, incapable of making any decisions for themselves. Gee, things just got pretty philosophical.
#6: Break Down Wooden Doors
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
One can only do such much with two hands, but we’re pretty sure that you can carry both a gun and a flashlight simultaneously. Apparently this is too difficult for your character in “Doom 3,” though. So you have to keep switching between these two items, which is especially inconvenient considering that danger is always lurking in the dark. Alan Wake can carry his gun and flashlight at the same time! Link can carry his sword and lantern at the same time, if you count attaching it to his belt! Why can’t you multi-task here? At the very least get a gun with a flashlight attached to it. Seriously, this is simple logic!
#7: Make Decisions for Themselves
A fair deal of modern games are driven by choice, like the “Mass Effect” trilogy and, to another extent, “The Stanley Parable.” For the most part, however, video games leave free will out of the equation, giving characters specific objectives to complete with no alternative. Mario has to save the princess. Donkey Kong has to reclaim his hoard of bananas. Franklin HAS to help that stupid Paparazzi (if he makes the mistake of getting to close). These video game characters are always being manipulated by their surroundings and controlled by a grand puppet master, incapable of making any decisions for themselves. Gee, things just got pretty philosophical.
#6: Break Down Wooden Doors
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
A fair deal of modern games are driven by choice, like the “Mass Effect” trilogy and, to another extent, “The Stanley Parable.” For the most part, however, video games leave free will out of the equation, giving characters specific objectives to complete with no alternative. Mario has to save the princess. Donkey Kong has to reclaim his hoard of bananas. Franklin HAS to help that stupid Paparazzi (if he makes the mistake of getting to close). These video game characters are always being manipulated by their surroundings and controlled by a grand puppet master, incapable of making any decisions for themselves. Gee, things just got pretty philosophical.
#6: Break Down Wooden Doors
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
If a door is made of metal or solid titanium, it makes sense that you wouldn’t be able to simply break it down. Last time we checked, though, wooden doors aren’t indestructible! Even when they’re locked from the other side, it’s nothing that blunt force or a few explosives shouldn’t be able to fix. Imagine how quickly we could blast through every “Zelda” dungeon if bombs worked on locked doors. Alas, wooden doors are seemingly every video game character’s kryptonite. If you want to get past one, either find a key or master the art of lock picking.
#5: Yell at Annoying A.I. Characters
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
In a perfect world, every A.I. character would be as awesome as Elizabeth from “BioShock Infinite.” Instead, we mostly get stuck with companions that are irritating, unhelpful, or share way too much information. It’s particularly infuriating when an A.I. character is constantly getting into trouble and you have to rescue them. All we want to do is slap these characters across the face and tell them to shut up already, but players are forced to be polite. We’re not sure how Link puts up with the likes of Navi and Fi, but his ability to stay cool clearly makes him a saint.
#4: Climb Over Small Objects
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
Don’t you just hate it when you’re so close and yet so far? In many video games, you’ll find yourself mere inches away from achieving your objective. All you have to do is climb over a small object. This would be easy enough if only your character were capable of jumping or, you know, grabbing onto ledges. These characters like to do everything the long, hard, stupid way with no room for shortcuts. It’s too bad that they can’t fit a forklift into their inventory.
#3: Talk
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
Gordon Freeman is a man of few words, Link is a man of few grunts, and Chell solely communicates through body language – not that we can see it or nothin. The point is that none of these video game characters are cut out for careers in public speaking. Given their extraordinary circumstances, you’d think that they would have something interesting to say every once and a while. Then again, maybe not all video game characters were meant to speak. Remember what happened when Samus finally opened her mouth in “Metroid: Other M?”
#2: Touch Most Things
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
This is such an old mechanic that most people never question it anymore, but it is kind of odd when you think about it. Now, I’m sure a Kremling could do some serious damage to a monkey – but they’d have to actually bike em’ first I assume. And how is it that Mario get’s K.O.ed by a Goomba? You kill it by jumping on its head, but you touch one pixel of its side and its game over for your plumber boy. Seriously tho, Megaman can kick the crap out of a handful of robot masters but those spikes are a no go, even if you just brush em with your arm? What the heck is with you guys?
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Move Left
Avoid Slipping on Bird Poop
Cover their Absolute Territory
#1: Swim
