Top 10 Things Only Adults Notice in the Harry Potter Franchise
#10: Hufflepuff
Every Hogwarts house has its traits. Gryffindors are brave, Ravenclaws are smart, Slytherins are cunning, and Hufflepuffs are … stoners? When you’re a kid, the signs that Hufflepuff House is full of kids who like to, ahem, light one up, might go right over your head. But let’s consider the evidence, shall we? They’re generally known as a chill, kind group of people. Professor Sprout, head of Hufflepuff House, is the Herbology professor. And, perhaps most importantly, their house common room is located directly next to the kitchens. That certainly makes it easy to grab a midnight snack when you’ve got the munchies. Plus, you know, the name of the house isn’t really doing the secret any favors.
#9: The Dementor’s Kiss
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We’ve all heard the phrase “cruel and unusual punishment.” While it’s certainly possible to argue that some of the forms of discipline used in the United States fit this description, they’re at the very least controversial and, at the most, prohibited. It seems, however, that the Wizarding World does not hold itself to the same standards. The pinnacle of all punishment in the “Harry Potter” universe is called the Dementor’s Kiss. This occurs when Dementors, the terrifying Azkaban prison guards, suck out a person’s soul. Yes, you read that right. The person doesn’t die, but is left a shell of their former self. Death is already a difficult concept to grasp, but our kid selves didn’t quite digest the severity of this punishment.
#8: Love Potions
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We’d expect the Wizarding World to take consent as seriously as we do in the Muggle one. But, when watching “Harry Potter” as an adult, you get the sense that everyone is just a bit more casual about drugging people than one would hope. In the later installments of the franchise, plenty of kids experiment with a certain love potion called Amortentia, which produces feelings of obsession more than real affection. At one point, Ron accidentally takes an elixir meant for Harry, causing him to act a fool. Fred and George Weasley even sell love potions in their joke shop. It’s all just a bit too casual and accepted for our liking.
#7: Body-Shaming
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Look, we all know how vile the Dursleys are. Petunia, Vernon, and their son Dudley all treat Harry like vermin and it’s perfectly reasonable to hate them. But, as we grow older, there’s one glaring issue with the portrayal of the Dursley family that we keep returning to. The books and movies seem perfectly content to fat-shame Dudley and Vernon to no end. In the first movie, Hagrid literally gives Dudley – a child at that point – a pig’s tail to make a point. There are plenty of actually shameful things that the Dursleys do, yet the franchise keeps coming back to this.
#6: The Time-Turner Problem
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“Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” introduces one of the coolest inventions of the Wizarding World, but also one of the most problematic. Throughout her third year, Hermione uses the time turner to go back in time to attend as many classes as she wants. She and Harry also use the time turner to save Sirius Black from the Dementor’s Kiss. The issue with introducing time travel into your story is that it readily becomes a device that can solve most of the characters’ problems, but it’s so rarely used as cleverly as it could be. Think of all the times they could have avoided extra trouble if they’d simply gone back in time to do it over!
#5: Teacher Background Checks
As much as we love Remus Lupin, we can understand why parents would be worried about having a werewolf teach their kids. But that’s not really the point of this entry. Dumbledore knew that Professor Lupin was a werewolf, and did take precautions to keep everyone, Lupin included, safe. The real questions come about in regard to all the other staff. Professor Quirrell had the literal Dark Lord at the back of his head. Professor Lockhart lied about everything a person could possibly lie about. Professor Moody was actually a Death Eater in disguise. Seriously, does anyone do background checks on these guys?
#4: Peeping Myrtle
When you first meet Moaning Myrtle, you might just think she’s a little strange, sure. But, as Harry (and the audience) gets older, you realize that she’s actually sort of a giant creep. In “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” Myrtle happens upon Harry in the bath. Instead of, we don’t know, apologizing profusely and leaving the naked 14-year-old alone, she proceeds to mack on him. Hard. Even though Harry is very visibly uncomfortable and she doesn’t let up. It’s a scene that gets harder to watch the older we get.
#3: Dumbledore Kind of Sucks
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Professor Albus Dumbledore is one of the cornerstones of the “Harry Potter” series. When we meet him as a kid, we’re taken in by his power and his grandfatherly charm. However, as we grow up, it becomes more and more clear that Dumbledore was sort of…the worst? There are so many things that Dumbledore could have – and probably should have – told Harry that would have made his life a heck of a lot easier. From letting Harry know about Snape to the fact that he himself was a Horcrux, to a whole host of other useful bits of information. Things could have gone so much smoother.
#2: Why Is This School Still Open?
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Let’s recap, shall we? First year, an 11-year-old student gets into a battle with a Dark Lord-possessed teacher and literally kills him. Second year, a giant snake starts trying to murder students. Third year, an alleged mass murderer breaks onto campus. Fourth year, a student dies in a school-sanctioned tournament. Fifth year, a government-stationed teacher tortures students in detention. Sixth year, the headmaster is murdered by a professor. Seventh year, there is a literal war at Hogwarts. How are parents still sending their kids here? How is Hogwarts “the safest place to be”? How is this school even still open? And, where are the school inspections when you need them?! The world may never know.
#1: Everyone Is Chill with the Enslavement of House Elves
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In the book “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” Hermione founded an organization called Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare (S.P.E.W.). She does so out of her astonishment that house elves are enslaved by wizards and generally treated like second-class citizens. Instead of other students getting just as up in arms about literal slavery, everyone either brushes her off or, worse, makes fun of her. It’s quite a jarring realization, especially as an older Harry Potter fan, to recognize how passive most of your favorite characters are about such a heavy, appalling crime. Except for Hermione, of course, because as we all know, she is perfect.
